The way the news should sound when the whole fucking world is on fire.
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Happy Friday! There are 333 days until the presidential election. Texas REALLY hates women, Hunter Biden gets hit with more charges and another kick-ass jobs report.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman3 minutes ago
It’s Thursday. There are 334 days until the presidential election. A big day for fake electors, Senate Republicans help Putin (again) and Kevin somebody is leaving Congress.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngmana day ago
It’s Wednesday. There are 335 days until the presidential election. MAGA Mike hearts insurrectionists, Tuberville surrenders and Trump promises to be a dictator. Seriously.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman2 days ago
It’s Tuesday. There are 336 days until the presidential election. Bernie opposes Israel funding, Liz Cheney starts making us nervous and please don’t give George Santos money.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman3 days ago
It’s Monday. There are 337 days until the presidential election. Republicans have almost defeated Ukraine, Jared is back and back to being dirty and the not-so-final word on George Santos.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman4 days ago
Happy Friday. There are 340 days until the presidential election. Healthcare comes to North Carolina, Senate Judiciary finally does something about a corrupt SCOTUS and MAGA Mike backs Santos.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman7 days ago
It’s Thursday. There are 341 days until the presidential election. Find out time comes to Arizona, Elon Musk is really losing it and the world says goodbye to a monster.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman8 days ago
It’s Wednesday. There are 342 days until the presidential election. Liz Cheney spills the beans, House Republicans become the Hunted and saying farewell to an American angel.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman9 days ago
It’s Tuesday. There are 343 days until the presidential election. Tommy Tuberville REALLY hates the military, Hunter Biden calls Republicans’ bluff and Pence rolls over — a lot.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman10 days ago
It’s Monday. There are 344 days until the presidential election. Republicans are having money problems, Obamacare is threatened again and relief as some hostages are freed.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman11 days ago
It’s Monday. There are 351 days until the presidential election. The GOP sure loves them some Jan. 6 violence, Trump promises to “finish the job once and for all” and America loses an angel.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman18 days ago
Happy Friday! There are 354 days until the presidential election (did we get that right?). Tennessee has lost its dang mind, Trump wanted to join the J6ers and eating all the popcorn for George Santos.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman21 days ago
It’s Thursday. There are 356 days until the presidential election. We have not yet begun to really hate Joe Manchin’s guts, Nevada tests the idea of better late than never and Biden does some good and normal president stuff.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman22 days ago
It’s Wednesday. There are 357 days until the presidential election. George Santos might be in real trouble, a crack in Tuberville’s treason and Democrats bail out the dumbasses — again.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman23 days ago
It’s Tuesday. There are 358 days until the presidential election. SCOTUS is a JOKUS on ethics, good news on inflation and wondering if MAGA Mike will beg Democrats for help.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman24 days ago
It’s Monday. There are 359 days until the presidential election. Taking a moment to cuss Joe Manchin, taking a moment to laugh at Tim Scott and taking a moment to remember our fallen.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngman25 days ago
It’s Thursday. There are 363 days until the presidential election. The GOP tries to defund the vice freaking president, James Comer might be a hypocritical scumbag and Biden heads to Illinois for a victory lap.
Adam Parkhomenko, Sam Youngmana month ago
It’s Wednesday. There are 364 days until the presidential election. Dark Brandon hits a big judicial milestone, a broken SCOTUS might not kill more women and Republicans NEVER SHOULD’VE MESSED WITH AMERICAN WOMEN’S RIGHTS.
It’s Tuesday. Today is Election Day. There is ONE YEAR until the presidential election. A deranged orange ass makes a deranged orange ass of himself in court, getting ready for a shutdown — again, and a poll to make us feel better.
It’s Monday. There are 366 days until the presidential election and TOMORROW IS ELECTION DAY!!!. Some polls scare us poopless, wondering if SCOTUS will kill more women and Orangey takes the stand.
Happy Friday! There are 369 (nice) days until the presidential election. George Santos might be a bad person, House Republicans play sick games with a world on fire and Biden heads to Maine.
It’s Thursday. There are 370 days until the presidential election and FIVE FREAKING DAYS until this year’s elections. Even Republicans hate Tommy Tuberville, George Santos survives and America loses a warrior for healthcare.
It’s Wednesday. There are 371 days until the presidential election and SIX FREAKING DAYS until this year’s elections. We finally have an ambassador to Israel, sorting through the bullcrap in Ohio and MAGA Mike tries to run up the debt some more.
It’s Tuesday. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! There are 372 days until the presidential election and ONE WEEK until this year’s elections. More violence from a Jan. 6er, the press finally notices Trump’s age and lunacy and Republicans love tax cheats more than Israel.
It’s Monday. There are 373 days until the presidential election and EIGHT DAYS until this year’s elections. The UAW (and Biden) wins big, Republicans try to get rid of those pesky voters and Trump gets gagged again.
