7.2.24 Thank you, Mr. President

Be advised: This newsletter cusses. And there is just way too much shit to cuss about right now.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots. Excuse us for a second, won’t you?

FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!! SHIT!!!! GODDAMNIT!!!!! FUCK!!!!!

Sorry. We really needed to get that out. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Ok we needed to get that out too. Been a rough few days, eh? Been kicked in the collective junk a few times? Having trouble catching our breath and seeing a path forward? We hear you. All of it. We feel your fear because we are literally feeling it too. Everything is totally and completely fucked up. So what do we do? Fetal position and endless sobbing in the dark? Check. Now what? Well, duh. We keep fighting.

Yeah, yesterday, when we realized we had stopped breathing and had stared off into the abyss for about an hour, we recognized the despair from an earlier time in this newsletter’s life. It was when Trump was in office. And shit was totally and completely fucked up then too. And every fucking day, it was so easy to just throw up our hands and say well goddamnit this shit is too fucked up to fix. But we didn’t. We fought and we cussed and we fought and we cussed and we took breaks and then we went back to work and we fought and we cussed and we organized and we voted and we just kept going because seriously what the fuck else are we gonna do? Quit? Not in this fucking lifetime. Not to that fucking loser.

So yeah, we got the wind knocked out of us. And it’s scary. Really fucking scary. But we’re not gonna fucking quit because we’re Americans and we’re just too goddamn stubborn to roll over and give up. So fuck Trump. Fuck his fucked up SCOTUS. And fuck all the rest of their bullshit. Let’s just keep fighting and fighting and fighting and go save this fucked up country’s fucking ass again. Because what the fuck else are we gonna do? Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: On a serious note, we love y’all very much and we know things are really not ok right now. Please keep your heads up and some hope in your hearts. Whatever you’re feeling, we promise you’re not alone.

Note three: Just remember — Steve Bannon is in prison.

Note four: Good news! Today the chairman of the Fed said inflation is going down! We already knew that, but it’s still nice to hear. Now let’s cut some interest rates! More: CNBC

Note five: Can’t believe Hunter Biden made them do this corrupt shit.

Note six: Team Biden-Harris just had their best fundraising month of the cycle, bringing in $127 million in June and $264 million for the quarter. According to MSNBC’s Kyle Griffin, they brought in $38 million in the four days after the debate. More: AP

Note seven: Yikes. Republicans put some asshole on their platform committee who wants to jail women for abortions and make 10-year-old rape victims give birth. Where do they find these fucking creeps? More: CNN

Note eight: Trump canceled an interview with a military reporter after his campaign wanted to know what questions would be asked. What a tough guy. More: Mediaite

Note nine: Just remember — Steve Bannon is in prison.

Note 10: We don’t know what any of this means and we’re afraid to look it up.

Note 11: We could’ve done without that US men’s soccer team loss last night. Felt like the cherry on top of an America-is-dead sundae. More: ESPN

Note 12: We really really really hate Mike Johnson. Dude should just fuck off and go watch porn with his son. More: HuffPost

Note 13: Want to read something really scary? More: Axios

Note 14: Just remember — Steve Bannon is in prison.

Note 15: This motherfucker…

Note 16: If you want to watch a cute movie, check out Summer Camp. We think it’s pretty good, but that might just be our crush on Diane Keaton talking.

Note 17: Red Lobster and Flavor Flav? We are very much here for this combo. More: KTLA

Note 18: Hunter Biden is suing Fox. Go git ‘em. More: AP

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we just want to give y’all a hug. We could all use it, right? So consider this note a hug from your favorite cussing newsletter. Feels good, don’t it?

Note 20: And on that warm and fuzzy note, let’s go do some news! Hang in there, SPs. SCOTUS doesn’t get the final word in this country. We do. And we’ve just begun to cuss. Love y’all!

Wow

So we knew RFK Jr. is a piece of shit. It’s been obvious for a while. But we didn’t know he was an eat-barbecued-dog piece of shit. Yeah, that’s a real thing. And there’s a picture. Vanity Fair has a new piece out today about just what a wretched human being the brain worm guy really is. Including a new charge of sexual assault. What an asshole.

More: Vanity Fair

FUCK!!!

No surprise but Trump was thrilled with SCOTUS’s decision to make him a king. Trump took to Truth Social to boast about the decision and thank his corrupt court, and then his lawyers went to work trying to have the New York verdict thrown out and delay his July 11 sentencing. This sucks so fucking much.

More: NBC

Thank you, Mr. President

We’ll be honest — we were pretty worried yesterday that the president wasn’t going to speak on the SCOTUS decision. So we were pretty relieved when he came out last night and excoriated the court for trying to make him a king. Joe was quite clear that he doesn’t want that much power, and that seems pretty fucking presidential to us.

More: CNN

Today’s clips

Hurricane Beryl strengthened to Category 5 status late Monday after it ripped doors, windows and roofs off homes across the southeastern Caribbean with devastating winds and storm surge fueled by the Atlantic’s record warmth. More: HuffPost

The Supreme Court on Tuesday gave two men charged with offenses related to the Jan. 6, 2021, assault on the U.S. Capitol another chance to argue that they cannot face an obstruction charge in cases affected by a recent ruling by the justices. More: NBC