Today’s Big Stuff
The way the news should sound when the whole fucking world is on fire.
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It’s Wednesday. There are 125 days until the general election. Trump’s effing sentence is delayed, Biden steps up on abortion and the comeback campaign continues.
It’s Tuesday. There are 126 days until the general election. RFK Jr. is a real scumbag, Trump does a victory lap and Dark Brandon says no thanks to being a king.
It’s Monday. There are 127 days until the general election. Biden meets with the fam over the weekend, SCOTUS destroys democracy and bye, Steve.
Happy Friday. There are 130 days until the general election. Mary Trump steps up big time, SCOTUS guts the government and backs an insurrectionist and let’s talk about last night.
It’s Thursday. There are 131 days until the general election. SCOTUS kinda sorta thinks pregnant women shouldn’t die, Americans see through the court’s corruption and y’all know what day it is.
It’s Wednesday. There are 132 days until the general election. Biden picks up a GOP endorsement, Trump’s candidates have a rough night and Republicans are REALLY coming for IVF.
It’s Tuesday. There are 133 days until the general election. A cussing farewell to Alex Jones, a Republican’s stolen valor and the horrifying consequences of Texas’ hatred of women.
It’s Monday. There are 134 days until the general election. SCOTUS is gonna hurt trans kids for freedom, waiting for an immunity decision and it’s debate week, y’all.
Happy Friday! There are 137 days until the general election. Truth Social ain’t doing so hot, Aileen Cannon is a joke and the broke SCOTUS delays justice some more.
It’s Thursday. There are 138 days until the general election. Elon gets Ted Cruz’s back, more SCOTUS love for Trump and check out this Fox News poll no seriously.
It’s Wednesday. Happy Juneteenth! There are 139 days until the general election.
It’s Tuesday. There are 140 days until the general election. Speaker Buttlick goes to Florida, Biden shows the world what American compassion looks like and some delicious news about Steve Bannon.
