Today's Big Stuff 9.6.22

9.6.22

It’s Tuesday. There are 63 days until the midterm elections. Some damning video out of Georgia, an idiot Trump judge rewrites the law for her orange daddy and it’s time to sprint to the finish.

Be advised: This newsletter has been away so long it forgot how to cuss. Nah we’re just fucking with you.

Note: Sexy Patriots! How the hell was your long weekend? Did you still have to work? Well we can tell you right now that none of you had to work at being Sexy Patriots. That clearly comes natural to y’all. Us? We’re rested and ready to rock n’ roll but we are also totally and completely freaking the fuck out.

You see, every once in a while we are totally right about something and it really fucks with us.

Goddamnit! Ain’t that some fucking bullshit?! Politico’s new owner wanted to gather people to pray for Trump?! Now that is some gross fucking shit. We don’t want to alarm y’all, but it’s entirely possible that soulless right-wing click factory is about to become even more of a soulless right-wing click factory.

It’s bad out there, y’all. First CNN and now Politico. They were always shitty, but this is getting scary. Even scarier? We were right about it. And y’all know how much that scares the shit out of us. But with all the media round us falling into a sea of bullshit, TBS is gonna have to step up and be a totally serious fucking news organization. Don’t worry. We got this.

Note two: How is your Motherfucking TBS Swear Jar going? We’re already close to $100 in just one of our jars. If you’re just joining us, we’re doing a #TBSwearJar for the month of September. Every time you cuss, put some money in the jar and at the end of September, give that money to a candidate who needs your help. Like Amanda here…

Note three: LOLOL. Let’s start this short week off with a laugh. Read this story about how Judge Jeanine is totally fucking Fox in the Dominion suit. Judge Reinhold isn’t this hilarious. And that guy is hilarious. More: NPR

Note four: So CNN kept their self-created outrage story over Biden’s speech last week going through yesterday. They must’ve gathered to pray for Trump too. NO LINK

Note five: Apparently it’s a two-way street. Trump is also offering to help CNN. This is all really really fucking gross and we’re all gonna have to work so much harder to overcome a corrupt media. More: Huff Post

Note six: Today is the first day back to school for Uvalde. So if you pray, pray for them. And check out this bit of magic from Friday night.

Note seven: This headline says that “these states will have abortion on the ballot this November.” Bullshit. Abortion is on the ballot everywhere this November. More: CNN

Note eight: Every once in a while we see a story that makes a little pee come out and this is one of those stories. More: 538

Note nine: Congrats to new UK Prime Minister Liz Truss. We have to apologize but we don’t know enough about her to know whether we should do celebratory cussing or just normal cussing. More: CNN

Note 10: LOL. Guess Russia shouldn't have fucked with Ukraine. Russian economy, go fuck yourself.

Note 11: Btw, Trump spent the weekend having a totally fascist rally. But he didn’t have any red lights behind him so CNN didn’t shit its pants over it. More: The Atlantic

Note 12: Like Trump actually whined about the treatment of a Jan. 6 asshole who likes to dress up like Hitler. This should be a bigger deal than Biden’s speech warning about this shit, right? Like are we totally losing our goddamn minds? More: Raw Story

Note 13: This is really cool. California Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill that will let the labor council set pay and working standards for fast food workers. More: Bloomberg

Note 14: To our California friends, this heat wave is no joke. Please do what you can to stay cool. And if you can spare some water for someone who needs it, please do.

Note 15: If we haven’t said it before — and y’all know we have — we sure do love us some Dark Brandon.

Note 16: Btw, we just want to thank all our labor friends for the day off yesterday. Ron Johnson wanted us to work, but the unions were like fuck that noise. More: Salon

Note 17: This should be a scandal that kills Ron DeSantis’s career. He set these people up to break the law. We sure do miss Florida being a part of this country. More: Washington Post

Note 18: Did you see Doodie Pooliani hanging out with Ashli Babbit’s mom last week? We’re not gonna link to it because why the fuck would we do that to y’all the first day back after a long weekend? We’ll just tell you it was really goddamn gross and leave it at that.

Note 19: We want to take a minute to say thank you to John Harwood. John has long been a stalwart defender of American democracy, and so CNN pushed him out last week. There is some scary shit happening over there, but we did want to say thanks to John for fighting the good fight. #BoycottCNN More: Poynter

Note 20: Alrighty, you beautiful Sexy Patriots, let’s do some news. We sure did miss y’all this weekend. We hope this short week is a kick ass one for you, and we’ll see you back here tomorrow. Love y’all!

Yikes

So as much as fucking hate CNN these days, they have obtained some pretty damning footage of some Trump goons going in to look at some voting machines. It really just leaves us with one question — ARE ANY OF THESE FUCKING PEOPLE EVER GOING TO GO TO JAIL?! THIS IS INSANE!!! Sorry. But goddamn this is frustrating. More: CNN

Yikes on steroids

So remember how every lawyer on the planet was making fun of Trump’s pleadings for a special master? Well the corrupt judge Trump appointed wasn’t laughing. She was busy giving Trump everything he wanted and wrecking the rule of law in the process. Not only did she give him a special master, she also halted the criminal investigation. Yes, this is a disaster for America. And yes it’s even worse than Biden giving a speech in front of some Marines. More: Huff Post

Let’s fucking go

Alright, y’all, it’s time. We are just two months from the midterm elections, and early voting starts even sooner. Labor Day is now in the rearview mirror. That means it’s fucking go time. Find a campaign you like, go to their website and click on volunteer. We know most of y’all are already doing this, but this shit is about as serious as it gets. So let’s leave it all on the floor for the next 63 days. We can do this, y’all. We’re too sexy not to.

Today’s clips

Florida Republican Sen. Marco Rubio characterized former President Donald Trump taking top-secret documents from the White House when he left office as nothing more than a “storage” issue. More: Huff Post

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