Today's Big Stuff 9.29.21

9.29.21

It’s Wednesday. There are 405 days until the midterm elections. Biden cancels his Chicago trip so congressional holdouts can get more attention, a Virginia Trump exposes himself (no, not like that thank god) and Trump will try to obstruct Jan. 6 investigation because he caused that shit. 

Note: Hey there, sexiest of patriots. You are halfway to getting through your week, and you’re looking good doing it. Today we’d like to talk to you about one of language’s greatest gifts and a key to surviving these exploding-diaper-bin times in which we live. We’re talking about The Mmmhmmm. You might know it by different letters or pronunciations, but you definitely know it. It often comes with a slight nod or shake of the head. You can throw in a little side eye if you’re feeling nasty — and you know we always are. It’s a great way to say “yeah told ya so, dumbass” without actually saying it. 

So why are we raving about The Mmmhmmmm this fine Hump Day? Because we’re using that sonbitch a lot. You might have noticed that lots of bad things are happening to assholes these days. Lots of bad things are happening to good people too, but that ain’t new. What is new is the constant stories about right-wing radio hosts dying of COVID and stories about people losing their jobs because they refuse to get vaccinated and other tales about how pandemic fans (Fandemics? Nope. Sorry we even tried it.) are getting smacked upside the head with the consequences of their actions. 

Now y’all know we might not be the sharpest tool in the silverware drawer, but we do know better than to go around poking karma in the eye. So while lots of folks laugh at the rising death toll of Rush Limbaugh’s spawn or the field of pink slips being handed out to go with red hats, we just can’t do it. What we can do is break out The Mmmhmmmm. It’s a simple but profound indictment delivered in a manner so subtle that it does not equate mockery, and it’s really kinda perfect for this unprecedented shit. And if any anti-vaxxing, COVID-craving butthead has a problem with it, just look them up and down, gently shake your head, roll your eyes and say… Mmmmmgofuckyourself! Ha! Have a great day, y’all! More: New York Times, Washington Post

Note two: Hey, so as y’all probably know, we launched a website to go with this here newsletter a couple weeks back. Or was it last week? Jesus. What fucking month is it? Anyway, as part of the site, we offer some original op eds from time to time. Today, Sam is trying to get us all to focus on the big picture — because the small picture out of Washington right now is pretty goddamn frustrating. More: Today's Big Stuff

Note three: So we royally fucked up yesterday. It was National Voter Registration Day, and we didn’t even mention it. Yeah, that’s a pretty big oopsie. Now we could assume y’all are all registered, but when you assume you make an ass out of America and we lose elections. So we’re a day late to this, but please check to make sure you’re still registered to vote. And then check to see if your friends and family are. Unless they like Trump and pandemics. In which case, just tell them it was National Give Yourself a Wedgie and Eat Shit Day. They’ll probably do it. 

Note four: So yesterday and today, top Pentagon officials have told Congress that yeah they wanted to leave more troops in Afghanistan, that yes that would have probably prolonged the war and that no Joe Biden didn’t want to do that shit. Good enough for us. More: CNN, Washington Post, Washington Post II

Note five: Yesterday President Obama broke ground on the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago. It looked like a really cool event, and the former president made clear that he wants his library to be a place of inspiration for kids who were like him. Really good shit here, Mr. President. And a really great write-up of former Obama alums from April Ryan. More: The Grio

Note six: So the fucking headline is about how the U.S. mail is about to get slower and more expensive and somehow nobody got fired today. Here’s a pro tip — DO NOT go into your boss’s office today and tell them you’re gonna be worse at your job but you’d still like a raise. Anywhere outside of Washington, that would be considered stupid. More: Yahoo News

Note seven: Elizabeth Warren is opposed to Jerome Powell. So now we are too. More: New York Times

Note eight: Here’s a handy list of all the shit that should scare you about SCOTUS this fall. More: Vox

Note nine: We hope Ana Navarro is able to scrape the rest of Don Jr. off the bottom of her shoe. More: Huff Post

Note 10: Tough blow to the religious exemption crowd aka the full of shit crowd. More: Axios

Note 11: We can be hard on DNC chairs, but Jamie Harrison is doing a fantastic job and we love this story about him and his wife. More: Essence

Note 12: Is it possible the Senate is finally going to do something about the Violence Against Women Act? Thank you to HuffPo’s Jennifer Bendery for staying on this important story. More: Huff Post

Note 13: Wisconsin Republicans are trying to make it illegal to teach about racism. Sounds pretty fucking racist to us. More: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Note 14: It’s noteworthy that even Axios is noticing the obvious white supremacist poison that is mainstream GOP these days. They usually help cover that shit up. More: Axios

Note 15: Well this is just the most Alabama shit we’ve ever seen. More: Associated Press

Note 16: This is what Trump and the Republican Party have wrought — attacks on nurses and doctors who are just trying to help save lives. We don’t even have a joke about this. It’s just really fucked up. More: Associated Press

Note 17: It’s amazing how often the judges in Jan. 6 cases are asking the prosecutors why they’re being so goddamn lenient on a bunch of goddamn terrorists. More: Buzzfeed News

Note 18: YouTube is finally going to ban some pro-COVID shit. Gosh. Are they sure they don’t want to wait for another 700,000 dead Americans? More: Washington Post

Note 19: You know you’ve told a whopper of a lie when you’re a Republican and the police unions still say you’re lying. But Tim Scott is just that big of a liar. More: Washington Post

Note 20: We don’t say it enough, but goddamn we love our Vice President. More: Huff Post

Note 21: Ok, you righteous rock stars, let’s get to the news! We hope your week is going awesomely, and we just want to say thank you again for all your kind emails. We freaking love hearing from y’all. Oh and we know it’s past the 21st, but September is almost over and we just love this song. Y’all have a great day! More: YouTube

Staying home with the kids

President Biden was scheduled to visit Chicago today for a COVID event, but he canceled yesterday so that he can continue to hold meeting with Arizona Sen. Kyrsten Sinema, who has emerged as the biggest threat to the agenda that 81 million of us voted for. There is still zero clarity about what is happening or what’s going to happen, and Democrats are running out of patience. If we had any left to begin with. More: CNN, CNN II

Virginia Trump

Last night Terry McAuliffe and Glen Youngkin faced off in a debate moderated by (groan) Chuck Todd. Despite his best efforts to conceal his Trumpiness, Youngkin gave away the game last night, choking when asked if he would do away with measles vaccine mandates the way he wants to do away with COVID vaccine mandates. Oh and he also said he’d support Trump if he runs again. So um Virginia, let’s make sure we beat this dude, mmkay? More: Washington Post

What Jan. 6?

As expected, Trump is going to try and fight Biden’s decision to give the Jan. 6 committee his communications from that day. The goal here is to run out the clock until Republicans are back in charge, and the fucked up reality is that’s probably a pretty solid strategy. It gets worse. A new Pew poll makes clear that Republican (and media) efforts to whitewash what happened are working. We sure could use a sense of urgency about this shit. More: The Guardian, CNN, Washington Post

Today’s clips

A leading Democratic advocacy group is launching a $1.7 million digital advertising campaign this week to mobilize voters to turn out in this fall's elections in two key states. More: CNN

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