Today's Big Stuff 8.26.22

8.26.22

Happy Friday. There are 74 days until the midterm elections. Republicans hope we don’t remember they took away human rights from millions, inflation eases and Trump’s social media company ain’t doing so great.

Be advised: This newsletter doesn’t cuss on Fridays. Nah, we’re just fucking with you.

Note: Sexy Patriots! It’s Friday! The weekend is here, y’all! And what a high note to go out on — Joe Biden going full-on Joey Badass and handing out a verbal thrashing that those dirty fuckers are still putting ice on today. What this cool motherfucker peel some paint off those shitheads…

Oh hell fucking yeah! If you get a few minutes, watch the whole thing. As we sat there pumping our fists and screaming “GIT ‘EM, JOE!” it got us thinking about these last few weeks in politics. And then we realized what we’d just seen — the greatest rope-a-dope since the Rumble in the Jungle.

Remember where we were mid-summer? Everything looked stalled out, and Biden looked beaten and afraid of throwing a punch. Some people (looking at you, Sam) were out of patience. In reality, our man was preparing to pounce while Republicans were lulled into a false sense of confidence for crazy people. And then Schumer and Manchin beat McConnell at his own game, followed by bam bam bam weeks of Democrats just knocking shit out and getting shit done.

And now we’re rolling. And the more we get done for the American people, the angrier and more out-of-touch Republicans and their pundit friends look. Our party was awakened when a broken and Supreme Court declared war on women. Now we’re more than awake. We’re fired up and ready to go.

Note two: We hope y’all have an awesome fucking weekend. We’re gonna use ours to pick out a jar. What? We’re gonna do other stuff too. But we’re so excited by TBSer Linda G’s idea for The Motherfucking TBS Swear Jar. The plan is you get a jar, decorate it and every time you cuss between the beginning of September and the end of the month, you put some money in your sexy swear jar. When September’s over, you take that cussing money and you give it to a campaign. Y’all in?

Note three: Oh btw, does the Democratic Party look like it has an enthusiasm problem to you?

Note four: We’ll be getting the redacted affidavit for the search on Mar-a-Lago shortly after this newsletter hits your inboxes. We hope they don’t redact the part about Trump being a criminal piece of shit. More: CNN

Note five: While the White House has done everything it can to stave off a recession, the Fed just announced that it wants a recession with Chairman Jerome Powell saying some “economic pain” might be necessary to ease inflation. What?! That’s the stupidest fucking thing we’ve ever heard. More: Axios

Note six: NBC has SCOTUS’s approval rating down to 35 percent positive. Ouch. They really fucked with the wrong people. More: NBC News

Note seven: Hey, we just want to take a quick second and address all the pathetic hawleyshit pundits out there who freaked the fuck out last night because Joe Biden said Republicans are “semi-fascist.” Maybe if y’all had gotten tear-gassed in Lafayette Park or beaten with the American flag at the Capitol, you wouldn’t be such cowardly pearl-clutching wimps. More: NBC News

Note eight: This story is horrifying and it has gotten almost no attention from a very white national press corps. Also, if you’re on twitter, give this guy a follow. He’s doing critical work in Mississippi.

Note nine: Want to hear something that will blow your mind? Listen to Jamie Foxx’s Trump impression… More: Independent

Note 10: We waited all week to ask — what did y’all think of the new Game of Thrones show?

Note 11: All the big shitty names at Fox have been sitting down for depositions with Dominion’s lawyers. Let’s hope we someday get to see video of Sean Hannity sobbing uncontrollably. More: Deadline

Note 12: Things don’t seem to be going all that great for that batshit crazy Colorado clerk. Can’t believe Q would lead her so far astray. More: CPR

Note 13: There aren’t enough kids shooting other kids, according to a dumbfuck Texas judge. More: CNN

Note 14: We can’t stop thinking about what the Fed chairman said this morning. What kind of fucked up country eases inflation by punishing working people at the same time that big corporations saw their highest profit margins since the fucking 1950s? More: Bloomberg

Note 15: Don’t look now, but Dark Brandon has a 44 percent approval rating, according to Gallup. More: Gallup

Note 16: This is one of our favorite stories all week. The human garbage who stole Ashley Biden’s diary for Project Veritas apparently did so at the direction of Project Veritas and so they might be absolutely fucked after those two assholes pleaded guilty yesterday. More: CNN

Note 17: Y’all pretend to be shocked on this one. One of Texas Right to Life’s top staffers was arrested for soliciting a minor. You don’t seem shocked. More: Dallas Observer

Note 18: Here’s some more Biden because it was just that good…

Note 19: Let’s end on that one, shall we? We sure do love you, Sexy Patriots, and we hope you’ve had a great week. If you’re out there working for a campaign this weekend, please let us know so we can cheer you on. And don’t forget to show us your jar next week. Y’all take care!

Nice try, bro

Republicans are finally figuring out just how badly they fucked up when they took away basic human rights from millions of women. Arizona Senate candidate and nazi enthusiast Blake Masters was caught scrubbing all the anti-choice language from his website and he went on tv with an ad saying that Mark Kelly is lying about his position on abortion. Be afraid, Blake. Be very afraid. More: NBC News

Great news

So prices are down and income is up. Yeah, that’s the news this morning. And that dumb motherfucker from the Fed still came out with his bullshit. Oh well. For now let’s enjoy the fact that Democratic policies are working, and the American people are benefitting. More: WRAL

LOLOL

We’re closing with this one because it made us laugh. When you hear Republicans whining about people not paying their debts, simply take note that Trump’s Truth Social, where he has been losing his shit these last few days, owes $1.6 million to a web-hosting service. Yeah, Donnie doesn’t pay his bills. So he and his GOP buddies can kiss our asses. More: Huff Post

Today’s clips

NO CLIPS HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND

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