Today’s Big Stuff 7.8.22

Today’s Big Stuff 7.8.22

Happy Friday. There are 123 days until the midterm election. Biden gets in the game on abortion, an assassination in Japan and holy crap that’s a good jobs report.

Be advised: This newsletter uses obscene language that might not be suitable for the miserable fucking assholes destroying our country.

Big Scream Update: We haven’t forgotten about this. Ok so we totally forgot about it over the long weekend. But we still think it’s a good and necessary idea so we’re meeting to talk about it today.

Note: Sexy Patriots! How in the hell is there this much news in such a short fucking week? Oh right, America had an exposed thread and some orange fucking asshat gave it a big yank. And so the news tsunami continues! As it does, please make sure you are taking care of yourself — getting as much sleep as possible, taking breaks from your phone and computer and eating right. On that last one, we have a suggestion — don’t eat at any gross fucking shithole that would defend Brett Kavanaugh.

The right to eat dinner? LOL ok, Morton. First, fuck that roach-infested anti-choice poop factory that serves dead horse and calls it filet mignon (it might actually be cow and they might not actually have roaches, but many people are saying…). We wouldn’t eat in that fucking dump if we were on fire and they had a bucket of water. But we are nothing if not compassionate and caring cussers. So we’ve decided to open a restaurant just for Kavanaugh and Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Mitch McConnell and all the other pig-fucking scumbags who can’t eat in peace because America hates their guts.

It’s called FuckYoulios, and we promise that both the food and service will be awful. Oh you ordered the chicken? Well here’s a rotting hyena buttcheek that we all took turns pissing on. That’s for you, Justice Kavanaugh. And for dessert, well here at FuckYoulios we only have one thing on the menu for dessert and that’s a great big FUCK YOU for everyone of these last asshats and any anus with a kitchen that would serve these sick fuckers.

Note two: Also, fuck Morton’s.

Note three: JFC. The Wisconsin Supreme Court just ruled that drop boxes are illegal and people have to deliver their ballots themselves. This is why it sucks to tell people to just vote when Republicans are doing everything they can to stop them. More: Axios

Note four: Tim Ryan raised $9.1 million last quarter. That’s more than double the record. Y’all are fucking doing it. Just think of how many JD Vances you could buy with that kind of money. More: NBC News

Note five: And Ohio really needs the help because Mike DeWine is the scum of the Earth. More: WTOL

Note six: We need to take a moment and talk about how fucking awesome the presidential medal of freedom ceremony was yesterday. So many real American heroes being recognized. And y’all know how much we love Megan Rapinoe and Simone Biles. The whole thing was a tribute to what makes America awesome and that just happens to also serve as a giant FU to Trump. Weird how that works. Congratulations to all the recipients! More: CNN

Note seven: Here are a couple of our favorites…

And…

Note eight: Bummer to see James Caan died. Yeah he became a Republican late in life and that’s embarrassing for him and seems to happen to a lot of old white guys when the little blue pill stops working but that dude sure made some great movies. Brian’s Song still absolutely wrecks us.

Note nine: Never forget for one second that Mike Flynn sold us out to Russia and Turkey for $450,000. More: Washington Post

Note 10: Next week is a HUGE week for the Jan. 6 committee. We’ve got two hearings, including one in primetime. More: Bloomberg

Note 11: And Trump’s White House counsel is appearing today. Trump will probably take it really well. More: CNN

Note 12: Elon Musk is trying to back out of the twitter deal. For some reason, the goobers at the Washington Post bought the spin that he’s actually concerned about how many bots there are. More: Washington Post

Note 13: Btw, Denzel Washington was supposed to get a medal of freedom yesterday, but he has COVID. Get well, sir! We need you! And Man on Fire is so fucking good!

Note 14: We’ve been laughing at this shit for like 24 fucking hours. Trump got out of his bullshit social media company just before the feds started investigating. He also got Don Jr. and Kash Patel out. So who was left? Devin Nunes. LOLOL. What a fucking loser. More: USA Today

Note 15: Want to see an elected Democrat at their best? This is how you use the forces of government to help people. Fuck yeah, Gavin.

Note 16: The Georgia lawmakers who were subpoenaed by Fulton County can’t get out of it just because they’re in the legislature, a judge said. Good. Fuck them. More: WSBTV

Note 17: The White House has started interviewing replacements for Trump’s IRS head. Seems to us like something that should’ve happened a long time ago. We missed a story yesterday about how both Comey and McCabe got intensive audits despite astronomical odds against that happening. So Trump was using the IRS to punish his enemies and we waited almost two years to do anything about it. Oof. More: ADN

Note 18: Goddamn this guy is good at this. We really need more Democrats to understand the new battlefields the way this guy and his team do.

Note 19: The head of the Secret Service is stepping down. Probably for normal not at all scandalous reasons. More: WSJ

Note 20: Ok, SPs, there’s actually enough crazy for like 40 notes today, but we’ve gotta get to the news section. We hope y’all are hanging in there. Shit is truly fucked up, and it’s taking a toll on all of us. But you are kicking ass in unprecedented times, and we see you. Have a great weekend, Sexy Patriots. We love you.

Go Joe

So we haven’t exactly been quiet about our disappointment in the president and his administration’s response to the fall of Roe. And we haven’t been alone. Well, pressure works. Today (about the time this newsletter hits your inbox), President Biden will announce executive orders he is signing to try and offer some protections against a lawless Supreme Court and its vicious enforcers. What he’s laying out looks kinda vague to us, but honestly at this point we are fucking desperate to see some action and some urgency.

More: CNN

Is Japan American now?

Former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe was assassinated last night by a young man with a homemade shotgun. This happened in Japan, and not Ohio. We felt like that needed to be said. The statements from Presidents Obama and Biden have been very nice. Man, the world is a fucking mess right now.

More: Axios

WOW

Joe Biden is the greatest jobs president ever. That’s not hyperbole, folks. While the New York Times and CNN keep telling everyone how much the economy sucks, the economy keeps telling them to fuck off. We added 372,000 jobs last month (and keep in mind these usually get revised upward), beating expectations and keeping the unemployment rate at 3.6 percent. Don’t look like no recession to us. This means that under Joe Biden, the American economy has recovered just about every job lost during a once-in-a-century pandemic. Let’s go, Brandon!

More: Axios

Today’s clips

The European Parliament voted 324-155, with 38 abstentions, to condemn the U.S. Supreme Court's overturning of Roe v. Wade and demand that abortion rights be enshrined in the EU’s fundamental rights charter. More: Axios

The Las Vegas Raiders announced Thursday that it has hired Sandra Douglass Morgan as its president, making her the first Black woman to lead an NFL team. More: HuffPost

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