Today's Big Stuff 6.27.22

6.27.22

It’s Monday. There are 134 days until the midterm elections. SCOTUS takes another wrecking ball to church and state, Americans are with us on abortion and dear god what is the White House doing?!

Be advised: We’re not even human anymore. We are just the f-word and a shitload of exclamation points.

Special question: Hey there, SPs, we’ll get to the normal crazy cussing in a minute, but first we wanted to gauge your interest in something. We were thinking about trying to organize The Great American Scream. Basically the idea is we pick a date and time and we advertise it heavily and when the time comes we all go outside and scream at the sky. So y’all tell us — is that a good idea worth pursuing or are we complete idiots? Both is also an acceptable response. Thanks!

Note: Welp, Sexy Patriots, that shit from last week stinks just as bad now as it did then. So if you don’t mind, we’re gonna start the week with a FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!! Thank you. We needed that. And we’ll probably do it again here in about five minutes or so. It’s our new thing since Friday morning. But hey, we’ll take a distraction anywhere we can get it. Which is what we were thinking last night when right on cue…

LOL! Rudy! You crusty evil dumbfuck! Nobody assaulted you! This motherfucker is out there telling people he felt like he got shot. Good lord, man. We know that person didn’t slap any self-respect on ol’ Facepoop McFuckedHisCousin. This dude has become a grotesque Jerry Lewis character, just endless disgusting slapstick that makes you laugh and dry heave at the same time. Like, we should probably be responsible and say this kind of thing is bad and not funny, and sure ok. But man we laughed our asses off when we heard the guy said, “Hey, what’s up, scumbag?” LOL. How fucking perfect is that shit?! Hahahahahaha!

Just to be clear, you should not put your hands on Rudy Giuliani. We’re looking at you, Rudy’s cousins! Besides, wouldn’t you be worried about whatever the fuck mystery substance you’ll probably get on your hand? Ewww.

Anyway, everything sucks but thanks for the laughs, you miserable face-crapping jackass. You might be a heartless piece of shit traitor, but you sure are accidentally hilarious.

Note two: Hey, so we know this weekend was heavy as fuck, and we want y’all to know that just because the weekend is over doesn’t mean the self-care has to be. And if you want to take a break from the news or even our hot asses, we totally get it. We’ll be here cussin’ and shit when you’re ready.

Note three: So where are we in the first few days without the protections of Roe? Well, Arizona, Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Missouri, South Dakota, West Virginia and Wisconsin have all stopped performing abortions. Other states have bans at six weeks. It’s bad, and it will get worse. More: ABC News

Note four: Thank you to everyone who marched this weekend. We saw you. You might remember Friday when Ted Cruz and other Republicans were running to Fox to warn of a “night of rage.” Well we raged, but the only people who brought violence were the fucking cops. More: NBC News

Note five: There’s so much bullshit flying that you might not have seen this particular bullshit, but man Ron Johnson sure has changed his story a lot about those fake electors and Pence. More: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Note six: It makes the hurt worse that our rights are being taken away by morons who think they were delivered by storks. The dumbest fucking storks in history.

Note seven: And here’s another one… More: Axios

Note eight: Thank you to Sen. Warren for pushing the message this weekend that we are dealing with an “extremist” court, and thank you to Rep. AOC for pushing the message that members of this court lied to the nation. Those are powerful messages, and we are grateful these two women were carrying it this weekend. We wish they’d had more company.

Note nine: And thank you to Janelle Monae for this message…

Note 10: So Republicans picked up a million voters. Yes, this scares the shit out of us. More: Axios

Note 11: Wanna see something fucking awesome?

Note 12: While we’re on sports for a second, congrats to the Colorado Avalanche on winning the Stanley Cup. We were rooting for them, but mostly to spite DeSantis.

Note 13: Britney Griner’s kidnapping in Russia has been extended another six months. Maybe if they arrange another call between Britney and her wife someone from the State Department can be bothered to answer the fucking phone this time. More: CNN

Note 14: Finally, some goddamn good news to share. We were beginning to wonder if there was any. More: CNN

Note 15: Did y’all see the whole Meet the Press panel laughing at Peggy Noonan yesterday? Y’all won’t believe this, but there was a time when that show was really important and not a complete joke. More: Raw Story

Note 16: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Note 17: Oh hey, we found some of that violence Ted Cruz was warning us about. More: CNBC

Note 18: If you need some clothes or hiking shit, we recommend Patagonia. They lead the way companies should. And the better sweaters are great. More: UpWorthy

Note 19: We all heard what this trash said. And we’re not Washington reporters so we don’t have to believe her bullshit when she said she didn’t really mean it. More: NPR

Note 20: Alrighty, SPs, let’s get to the news. We hope y’all are being good to yourselves. Six psycho killers in robes are fucking with you every day, so it’s understandable if you’re pissed off and worried about the future. Let us know what you think of that Scream Day idea. Maybe it’ll help us all blow off some steam. We love y’all. Hugs.

Hail Satan; Go team

So the corrupt and broken Supreme Court that ruled women have no autonomy over their bodies now says a high school football coach was merely enjoying some private time when he led his teams in prayer on the goddamn field. So yeah, welcome to prayer in school now. Goodbye, separation of church and state. To make matters worse, there’s no way our party will touch this with a 10-foot pole because they worry night and day about pissing off some Jesus-loving racist in central Pennsylvania. More: Huff Post

Out of touch

You know how we keep saying that no matter how you’re feeling about Roe you are not alone? Well now we’ve got some numbers to back us up. CBS has 60 percent disagreeing with the decision and 52 percent (over 31 percent) calling it a step backwards for the country. The same poll found that the decision made 50 percent of Democrats more likely to vote in the midterms (Republicans 20 percent). A new NPR/Marist poll has Democrats leading the generic ballot 48-41, and 78 percent of Democrats saying the ruling will make them more likely to vote this year (Republicans 54 percent). This is an issue we can win on. But only if we lead. So why then…

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT INFLATION

So put us in the camp of Democrats who were enormously disappointed by the leadership’s response — or lack thereof — to Roe going down. We get that it’s bad luck that Biden had to go to Europoe this weekend, but the only people in our party who acted like they were actually ready for this awful moment were Blue State governors. So what is the White House doing this week? Talking about inflation. We are Jerry MacGuire standing in the locker room and begging Rod Tidwell to “HELP US HELP YOU!” More: CNN

Today’s clips

The Supreme Court has declined to revisit the landmark First Amendment decision in New York Times v. Sullivan, a 1964 ruling that created a higher bar for public figures to claim libel and has been a bedrock of US media law.

Justice Clarence Thomas dissented from the court's refusal to take up the case. More: CNN

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