Today's Big Stuff 6.23.22

6.23.22

It’s Thursday. There are 138 days until the midterm elections. DOJ goes after Trump’s fake electors, the gun deal could pass today but unfortunately SCOTUS wants us all to die. 

Be advised: Most days, this newsletter uses a lot of cuss words. Today will be no different.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! How is your day going? Well, TBS, I woke up in a cold sweat and started instantly refreshing the news to see if some corrupt fuckheads appointed by an even more corrupt fuckhead were gonna take my rights away today. Also, you’re very good looking. 

Well thank you! And yes, these mornings waiting for the SCOTUS sword of Damocles to fall are straight up hell and make real fucking clear just how broken this country is and how ain’t much being done about it. But not here at TBS. No, around here rules matter. And today, it gives us no pleasure to say we are enacting a new one — We are going to stop making fun of Herschel Walker. Or at least we’re gonna try.

Look, it’s killing us to not mock that until our ass starts bleeding, but let’s be real — that dude has serious brain damage from years of getting hit in the head and it is nothing short of grotesque that Mitch McConnell and his merry band of fascist pig-fucking scumbags are putting him through this. How do we know he has brain damage? Because the dude has 78 kids, and this is the one he claimed…

So yeah, we can’t make any promises because we don’t like Republicans and some days we need shit to write about, but for now, the new rule is that we will point out the incoherent dumbshit stuff that Herschel says, but we won’t make fun of it. Starting tomorrow.

Note two: We’re gonna talk more about this fucked up crackhead Supreme Court in the news section, but one of the decisions today is that you can’t sue a cop who doesn’t read you your rights. Yeah, now they can just skip straight ahead to kneeling on your neck. More: CNN

Note three: We’re gonna pause for a second. We’re still processing this goddamn gun ruling and need to scream cuss words for a minute. 

Note four: He wants advice? Here’s some advice — GO THE FUCK AWAY!

Note five: Today is hearing day, and the Jan. 6 committee will be talking about Trump’s efforts to use DOJ to overturn the election. The witnesses include Jeff Rosen and that fucker Jeffrey Clark, who should be sitting in a fucking jail cell. More: Vox

Note six: Btw, we have a new Q-poll that tells us the American people are with us on this. And almost 60 percent are following the hearings closely. That’s big! More: Quinnipiac

Note seven: Y’all see the earthquake in New Hampshire? Maybe our only hope is DeSantis winning the nomination and Trump burning the whole party to the ground. More: The Hill

Note eight: Speaking of Florida, it’s good to know that DOJ can arrest politicians. We’re just wondering if that only applies to Black Democratic politicians. More: NBC News

Note nine: Vice President Harris met with Democratic AGs as the White House prepares for the Roe decision. But after today’s feel-free-to-shoot-each-other ruling, it seems pretty obvious where this totally pro-life court is headed. More: Reuters

Note 10: Republican bigotry is so effective that it has driven Kentucky’s 2022 teacher of the year from the classroom. Congrats to the new Klan on their victory and condolences to Kentucky for getting stupider and more hateful. More: Kentucky.com

Note 11: Well, if nothing else, at least Sidney Powell is having a shitty week. More: Washington Post, Courthouse News

Note 12: NBA draft is tonight. If they call our names, we’re shutting down the newsletter. But don’t worry, there’s like a 62 percent chance that won’t happen. 

Note 13: This is one of those headlines we had to read several times. Steve Bannon is addressing the spouses of GOP lawmakers? Wouldn’t it just be easier to ask for a divorce? More: Rawstory

Note 14: Every once in a while we remember that Sarah Palin might be in Congress soon and we cry for a little bit and then we cuss and then we cry a little more. More: Washington Post

Note 15: Three months isn’t long enough for this fucking dirtbag. More: NBC News

Note 16: We love to see this from the WNBA. We’d like to see a whole helluva lot more from the Biden administration. More: People

Note 17: Publix isn’t going to provide vaccines for kids. So if that’s your grocery store, you’re not only supporting an insurrectionist heiress but also hurting kids. More: TampaBay.com

Note 18: Well done to DOJ for giving Facebook the tiniest slap on the wrist. The corruption and cowardice in that department are truly upsetting. More: CNBC

Note 19: The Jan. 6 committee members are getting more security. Why? Because Republicans are crazy psycho fucking killers who gave guns to everyone. More: CNN

Note 20: Ok, Sexy Patriots, it’s been a heavy morning and tomorrow could damn well be worse. So let’s end today’s Note section with something to make us all smile. Love y’all. 

Now we’re talking

Yesterday DOJ subpoenaed some of Trump’s fake electors, even going so far as to take the phone of one of Trump’s Nevada stooges. We welcome this development, but like so much of this we just wonder what the fuck has taken so long. Even that Sidney Powell thing had us wondering how the hell she still has a law license. Justice might be coming, but it’s slower than a goddamn Trump kid. More: CNN

Yay gun deal

The Senate will likely pass the deal on gun safety today, and House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer said the House could pass it almost immediately, getting it to Joe Biden’s desk by the end of the day. (We’ll be shocked if it actually happens that fast.) House Republicans are whipping against the bill because they hate us all and want us to die. And of course it’s hard to celebrate this hard-fought win when the Supreme Court wants to murder us. More: CNN

Fuck

Clarence Thomas hates Americans. Like really hates them. That’s why he took the lead in overturning a 110-year-old New York state law that required a reason to get a concealed weapon permit. Yeah, with America begging for something to be done about guns, Clarence and the nutjobs on the Supreme Court struck down a law that 79 percent of New Yorkers wanted. So yeah, states basically can’t do anything to fucking regulate guns now. It’s a stunning decision that is way out of step with what the American people want. If there’s a silver lining here, it’s that a broken and corrupt Supreme Court continues to show the American people just how broken and corrupt it is. More: AP News

Today’s clips

The House Jan. 6 committee is extending the timetable for its public hearings into July. 

Chairman Bennie Thompson, D-Miss., told reporters that Thursday's hearing, focused on former President Donald Trump's pressure on the Department of Justice, will be the last for the month of June with more hearings to come after Congress' July 4threcess. The House will reconvene the week of July 11, and Thompson indicated that's the earliest hearings would likely resume.

More: NPR

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