Today's Big Stuff 6.16.22

6.16.22

It’s Thursday. There are 145 days until the midterm elections. So um America probably needs to do something about Ginni Thomas, it’s gonna be a BIG Father’s Day for Herschel Walker and it’s hearing day, y’all! 

Be advised: Do you like cussing and typos? Well you’re in fuck. 

Note: Well hey there, Sexy Patriots! It looks like y’all took an extra shot of sexy today. Or maybe an extra shot of patriotism? Either way, it’s working. Y’all want to do something crazy today and start off on some positive notes? Let’s do it and be legends. 

First, yesterday the White House, the president and the First Lady celebrated Pride month. They invited some superstar activists to 1600, including Javier Gomez, who led a walk out at his Florida school in protest of bigot fasicst douchebro assface Ron DeSantis. Biden backed up all the pretty talk with an executive order supporting the LGBTQ+ community. It looked like a damn cool event, and it was awesome to see, especially considering Republicans are back to their gay-hating ways and Pride is as important as ever.  

Second, HOLY FUCKING SHIT Y’ALL WE FUCKING DID IT! Today’s Big Stuff passed 100,000 subscribers yesterday morning. LOL. WHAT?! We are so fucking grateful to y’all that we are damn near speechless. Sam hasn’t stopped happy cuss crying since we found out. This newsletter started for like six people. In the beginning, we were just trying to make ourselves laugh to deal with the anger, fear and sadness we felt during the Trump years. But the more we did, the more we heard from y’all that it was helping you do the same thing. That gave TBS and its fucked up jokes a sense of purpose, and that sense of purpose became our North-star, guiding us through the bullshit and the days we wanted to sleep in. Plus, we love how much this shit pisses off some people… 

LOL. Thank you to Kyle Shivers for that graphic and all the pretty shit that TBS does. And thank you, Sexy Patriots!!! For keeping us going, for lifting us up, for inspiring and motivating us, for keeping our fires raging, for making sure we keep giving fucks by saying fuck and reminding us daily that we are not alone in being outraged that the stank shrapnel of exploding buttholes known as the Republican Party are trying to destroy what’s left of America to impress their shitbrained orange gameshow host taint-lick daddy. These are hard and scary times, and we are forever grateful to y’all for helping us take them on. We love y’all. We really fucking love y’all. And Politico Playbook can kiss our asses. Have a great day!

Note two: Was the Politico shot gross and gratuitous? Good. That’s what we were going for. 

Note three: We’re also really grateful to not be this racist dickhead asshole, but that’s kind of an everyday thing. 

Note four: Yesterday Biden spoke with Zelensky and told him there’s another $1 billion coming. Today, the “leaders” of France, Italy and Germany finally made their way to Ukraine. So Zelensky is having to spend his day with wimps. More: CNN

Note five: Man, when it comes to the judiciary, Joe Biden is doing the damn thing. More: KVRR

Note six: Disney is holding on creating 2,000 jobs in Florida. Why? Because the governor is a piece of shit fascist asshole. Bigotry is bad for business. More: Hollywood Reporter

Note seven: Elon Musk is talking to twitter employees today. So congrats to them on their new QAnon horses. More: Associated Press

Note eight: OH SHIT!!! Y’all know that asshole former judge in Wisconsin who has been running amok looking for fraud in 2020? Well last week he lost his shit in a courtroom, and a real judge has fucking had it. Yesterday, the hammer started to come down. (This was one of our favorite stories today) More: Madison.com

Note nine: Candace Owens doesn’t have kids. Maybe that’s why she’s trying to take everyone else’s away with her hateful bullshit.

Note 10: Secretary of State Tony Blinken sat down with LGBTQ reporters yesterday, and he told them he is “personally focused” on getting Britney Griner home. More: Huff Post

Note 11: LOL. Mo Brooks says Trump isn’t loyal to anyone to himself. He must’ve thought they really had something special after they attacked the Capitol together. More: Huff Post

Note 12: CNN’s new boss wants his reporters to stop calling it the Big Lie. So welcome to new Fox News. It’s gonna suck more than it already does. More: The Daily Beast

Note 13: What do you do when a bunch of nazis cram in a U-haul to get violent at a Pride event? You show them what love looks like. After you’ve arrested their scummy asses. More: Idaho Press

Note 14: Ken Paxton is an actual goddamn monster. What a fucking asshole. More: Salon.com

Note 15: Y’all, we really want to be wrong about this, but it’s sure looking like we got fucking played on guns again. And by we, we mean Senate Democrats. More: Twitter

Note 16: Those cousin-fucking dirtbags who took a confederate flag into our Capitol were found guilty yesterday. And by a Trump judge who has been sympathetic to Jan. 6 trash. Our theory is that the judge was shamed by Officer Goodman, an actual good American. More: NBC News

Note 17: Steve Bannon had a bad day yesterday. His trial starts next month. Have fun, Steve! More: CNN

Note 18: HUGE news on the vaccines for kids front yesterday. Let’s go! More: NPR

Note 19: If you live in Montana, you probably want to know where your governor is. But maybe you shouldn’t have elected some dickhead who body slams reporters. More: NBC Montana

Note 20: Ugh. The Fed is going to cause a recession. More: CNN

Note 21: Some breaking news regarding Ginni Thomas this hour... More: Twitter

Note 22: Alrighty, you gorgeous lovers of liberty, let’s haul ass to the news section. Thank you for the giant smiles on our faces these last couple days. We didn’t even know that was possible after 2016. There’s nobody we’d rather be in this fight with than y’all. From the very bottom of our cussing hearts, thank you for joining us. We’ll see you tomorrow.

Ginni, don’t you lose my number

Ok so that doesn’t really make sense here but holy fucking shit. Yeah, Clarence’s nutjob wife was in contact with “lawyer” John Eastman while he was trying to overthrow the government, and the Jan. 6 committee has the emails. And the NYT broke that Eastman was emailing folks like he had inside knowledge of what was happening at SCOTUS. Gosh, wonder where he got it from? This shit can’t stand. Democratic leadership needs to step the fuck up. More: CNN, New York Times

Happy Secret Father’s Day

You know how yesterday we were joking about how we found out we’re Herschel Walker’s kids? Well it got a lot less funny and a lot more possible today as we found out that the Walker secret kid count is up to four if you include an adult daughter nobody knew about. So congrats to Herschel! We’re sure he’s handing out cigars and excited to get a shitload of neckties this weekend. More: Rolling Stone

Happy Hearing Day!

Today the Jan. 6 committee will focus on the 65-year-old virgin Mike Pence and how his orange daddy tried to get him killed. We’re gonna hear from Greg Jacob, who was Pence’s lawyer, and Michael Luttig, the right-wing judge who told Pence not to follow Trump’s fucked up orders. Should be another popcorn day so settle in and enjoy. Oh and by the way, the American people are with us on this. More: Twitter, CNN

Today’s clips

The looming U.S. Supreme Court decision on abortion is expected to upend access to the procedure as we know it, leaving in its place a patchwork of states where the legal right to abortion varies and bottlenecking patients in places where the procedure remains safe and accessible. More: Huff Post

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