Today’s Big Stuff 6.15.22

June 15, 2022

Today’s Big Stuff 6.15.22

It’s Wednesday. There are 146 days until the midterm election. A House Republican’s not-so-innocent Jan. 5 tour, some truly terrifying primary results and some interesting polls.

Be advised: This newsletter has a potty mouth, but it’s ok because most of the people we write about are full of shit.

Note: Sexy Patriots! How the effing heck are you this fine day? Well, you smell like a million bucks. Us? Well, we’re doing ok. It’s been a heady morning. We just found out Herschel Walker is our dad, and we’re not taking it well.

Yeah, it was pretty shocking to us to discover that our dad is a CTE-wrecked pathological liar who thinks Trump is his daddy. And then to learn we had a brother! Well, it was quite a day. We are of course kidding (Well, Adam is. Sam is waiting on a DNA test), but between Herschel being an endless trainwreck and the shit we saw last night, we are hoping everyone is ready to work their asses off to beat these fuckers back this November. Besides, it ain’t like there aren’t already enough deranged monsters in the Senate already…

Note two: Can you imagine how that would’ve been covered if a Democrat had said it? We hear Cramer actually has a dented thermos full of hog diarrhea where his soul is supposed to be. That quote seems to confirm it.

Note three: Elon Musk said this morning he is backing Ron DeSantis for president. So congrats to Ron on his new horse. More: CNBC

Note four: John Cornyn this morning appears to be backing away from the only two parts of the gun bill that actually deal with guns. So once again, it appears these sick fucks have conned everyone. We hope we’re wrong about this, but goddamnit.

Note five: Big news this morning as Biden nominates Brad Garcia to the D.C. circuit court. He would be the first Latino on that court. Keep making history, baby. More: Washington Post

Note six: Biden sent a letter to the seven major oil refiners demanding they do more and calling the profits during a time of war “not acceptable.” More: CNN

Note seven: If you’re looking for a race to get involved in, you could do a lot worse than Michigan.

Note eight: So this is really happening. Republicans are refusing to certify an election in New Mexico. And this is just the beginning. More: PBS

Note nine: What Fox News did to the Rich family is pure goddamn evil. And they never apologized. More: NPR

Note 10: Nancy Mace, the pathetic loser who lost Trump’s endorsement and still kissed his ass anyway, survived her primary last night. Tom Rice, one of the few Republicans to actually stand up to Trump over Jan. 6, lost. More: CNN

Note 11: Congrats to former Atlanta Mayor Keisha Bottoms who is joining the White House to fill the spot Cedric Richmond had. More: AJC

Note 12: Tomorrow is golfer Phil Mickelson’s birthday. As a present to himself, he gave Saudi blood money to his bookie. More: Golf.com

Note 13: Chef Andres is opening a restaurant in what used to be the Trump hotel. He’s gonna want to do a DEEP clean before he cooks anything there. More: DCist

Note 14: Someone alert the Tooth Fairy. We got a big one.

Note 15: Holy shit! We just saw that the Monday Jan. 6 hearings had almost 12 million viewers! In the middle of the damn day! Did y’all see the teaser for the next one? As scary as this shit is, it is really compelling television.

Note 16: SCOTUS didn’t wreck Roe today. So we hold our breaths until Monday.

Note 17: DOJ today filed federal hate crime charges against the Buffalo shooter. That could make him eligible for the death penalty. More: NBC News

Note 18: LOL. Remember when the New York Times told us that California voters sent a message to Democrats on crime by voting for moderates and Republicans? Well maybe they should’ve waited until the fucking votes were counted. Yesterday, Karen Bass took the lead over Republican Rick Caruso and in LA, several progressives took leads over more moderate candidates. But why get it right when you can get it fast? More: LA Times

Note 19: Ok, you beautiful beautiful lovers of liberty, let’s get to the news. As of this morning, we were seven(!) subscribers away from 100,000. We have no idea how we’re going to celebrate when we hit the milestone, but we sure are grateful to y’all for giving us something to celebrate. Y’all are seriously just the fucking best. Have a great day!

Totally normal tour

Today the Jan. 6 committee released footage of the tour Rep. Loudermilk (R-Treason) led on Jan. 5. You might recall that he initially lied about giving a tour at all. Then he lied about how many people were on the tour. And for reasons we really don’t fucking understand, yesterday the Capitol Police said he didn’t do anything. Well the new footage shows his tour guests taking pictures of stairwells and security checkpoints, and at least one of the people on the tour came back on Jan. 6 and is heard on footage threatening Pelosi and AOC. AND THEY FUCKING LIED ABOUT IT!!! This shit seems pretty fucking huge to us.

Yikes

So what do you get when combine a bunch of QAnon pig-fuckers with some degenerate assholes who believe the 2020 election was stolen? Last night’s Republican primary winners. Yeah, in places like Nevada, Republicans picked candidates who have embraced Trump’s Big Lie and who will not certify election results if their preferred candidate doesn’t win. This is it. This is how it all ends.

Very interesting

Well we’ve got some new polls to look at. The generic ballot continues to look scary for Democrats. In Pennsylvania, we’ve got a mixed bag. On the one hand, John Fetterman has a healthy lead over “Dr.” Oz even though Fetterman has basically been out of commission for more than month. The guv race is a little scarier. Josh Shaprio is ahead of Jan. 6er Doug Mastriano but it’s within the MOE. If Mastriano wins, it’s a legit catastrophe. The environment is terrible for us. But we can still win these races. So let’s get to work.

Today’s clips

WNBA star Brittney Griner will remain in Russian custody through at least July 2, Russian state-run news agency Tass reported Tuesday. More: HuffPost

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