Today's Big Stuff 6.13.22

6.13.22

It’s Monday. There are 148 days until the midterm elections. Trump’s campaign manager cancels on the Jan. 6 committee, the AFL-CIO gets a new leader and what to make of the deal on guns-ish.

Be advised: Does this newsletter use inappropriate language? You bet your sweet fucking ass it does. But we’ve got good reasons.

Note: Well holy goddamn fuckshit. Yeah, the week is just starting, and we’re already so furious and frightened that we’re not even cussing right. Waiting for the Supreme Court to throw the whole country back into the dark ages will do that to you. So we’re gonna do something unexpected and go positive. Y’all see this amazing shit?

That’s our amazing brilliant awesome badass Vice President. She’s standing with the LGBTQ+ community. A Black woman vice president of the United States standing proud for Pride. Y’all, if you need a reason to believe in progress, just take another look at that picture. Is everything scary and going straight in the shitter? Of course. But there’s still great beauty in the fight for what’s right. And there’s still hilarity in going up against the dumbest shit-eating sonsofbitches this dying planet ever shat out…

LOL. Yes!!! Sexy Patriots who were here in 2020 will remember that few things delighted us and made us laugh until a little pee came out like when stupid cousin-fucking Trump people sank their fucking boats while trying to create an armada. Even now, when times are tough, we think of those sunken boats and the moron sailors, and we cackle. So thanks to Trump 1.5 and his army of fart-sniffers for the laughs.

And last but not least, the orange shit stain in South Florida wanted a new paint job for Air Force One because he’s a tacky scumbag who has no taste but thinks otherwise. And we found out this weekend it ain’t happening. So for the millionth time, let’s all point and laugh at the pathetic fucking loser. Hahahahahahahaha! More: NBC News

Note two: Are y’all watching the hearing today? Yeah, us too. Feeling sexy? Us too.

Note three: Wow. Herschel Walker is a pathological liar. And that might be his most redeeming non-football quality. More: AJC

Note four: The Wall Street Journal says that weed, and not guns, is what is driving all these shootings. If that was true, Sam would have a higher body count that tobacco and Jeff Dahmer combined. NO LINK

Note five: Speaking of no links, our dear twisted friends at Politico have written a piece kissing the ass of Marco Rubio. Yes, that is about as low as you can go. The worst part? There are people like Gillibrand in there talking about how great and “fun” Marco is. Sigh. Maybe someday Senate Democrats like Kirsten will realize they’re not in a club. DEFINITELY NO LINK

Note six: Y’all know how Republicans in Pennsylvania are running an insurrectionist piece of shit who was at the Capitol on Jan. 6 for governor? Well he just hired Jenna Ellis to be his senior adviser. The coup continues.

Note seven: This falls in the category of terrifying amusing. It’s really fucking scary that these nazis were headed to fuck with a pride gathering. But god we do love seeing them on their knees in handcuffs.

Note eight: Weird. The WSJ and NY Post both ran editorials this weekend saying it was time to move on from 2020. The Jan. 6 committee might not have made Merrick less of a wimp, but at least they got to Rupert. We’re just kidding. That old scumbag is going to take us all down. More: The Hill

Note nine: Y’all know how we feel about Trump. Not good. But god do we love watching him eat the Republicans who have kissed his ass. They deserve every bit of it. More: The Hill

Note 10: This note is just in case y’all thought the New York Times was doing a good job these days. ‘Cause they ain’t.

Note 11: We’re not taking our eye off the ball in Ukraine. And we need the rest of the world to do the same. More: CNN

Note 12: The lunatic running the so-called election fraud investigation in Wisconsin has been held in contempt of court. If the judge overseeing the case had any guts, Gabelman would have spent the weekend in a jail cell. More: WISN

Note 13: This is dangerous and scary and quite possibly idiotic. Don’t forget that we wanted to run against Trump in 2016 too. More: Huff Post

Note 14: This is the kind of news we’d normally celebrate, but honestly why the fuck is this just happening now? More: CNN

Note 15: We’re gonna go out on a limb and say that Andrew Yang isn’t very good at politics. More: Axios

Note 16: Liz Cheney just referred to “an apparently inebriated Rudy Giuliani,” and oh god we are fucking howling.

Note 17: It sure looks like the Fed is trying to cause a recession. We don’t claim to be economists, but that seems really fucking stupid to us. More: CNBC

Note 18: Tomorrow is Trump’s birthday. Someone should get him a goddamn indictment.

Note 19: Ok, Sexy Patriots, let’s get to the news section. This is probably gonna be an intense news week, so let’s get through it together. We love y’all, and we hope you have an amazing fucking day.

Hmmmm

As y’all know, the Jan. 6 committee’s second hearing is underway, and Trump’s campaign manager, Bill Stepien, was supposed to testify. He canceled at the last minute because his wife went into labor. Yeah, likely story. We’re gonna need to see a birth certificate. More: CNN

Woohoo!

Richard Trumpka served the AFL-CIO honorably for about as long as we can remember. But we are damn excited to see the storied institution being led by a woman for the first time ever. Huge congrats to Liz Shuler.

Progress

So y’all saw this weekend that Chris Murphy announced a deal between 10 Democratic senators and 10 Republican senators on guns. We spent the weekend trying to decide what to make of it. Y’all know we don’t trust Senate Democrats to not get rolled. But here’s the thing — we aren’t the experts here. And the people we trust on the issue — people like Shannon Watts and Fred Wellman — were celebrating progress. Nobody is saying this is enough. But the right people are saying it’s a good step. And we’re with them. More: CNN, Axios

Today’s clips

The Supreme Court on Monday ruled that the federal government can continue to detain certain immigrants in removal proceedings without giving them a bond hearing after six months, in case where the Biden administration has prevailed over the immigration activists who opposed the government in the case. More: CNN

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