Today's Big Stuff 3.16.22

3.16.22

It’s Wednesday. There are 237 days until the midterm elections. A hero addresses Congress as Biden sends more aid to Ukraine, sending well wishes to the vice president’s hubby and history at OMB. 

Be advised: We are so fucking fired up this morning we might not spell anything rite.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! We’re excited to be taking a few days off to recharge the batteries in the ol’ cussword machine, but we sure do miss y’all when we’re away. So please don’t go changing like Vlad Putin did. What’s that you say? Putin hasn’t changed at all and only a fucking idiot would think otherwise? Yeah, we totally agree.

But there was the orange assbreath yesterday, in an interview with the remarkably still existing Washington Examiner, saying Putin has “changed” and he didn’t think the Russian president would really go through with his invasion of Ukraine. LOL. We made this stupid motherfucker president? Of the United States? 

Putin ain’t changed. And neither has Trump. And neither have the House or Senate Republicans who gave that piece of shit a pass when he was withholding aid to Ukraine in exchange for political favors. And the only people who don’t see that are boot-licking Beltway reporters and people who get their medical advice from Tucker Carlson’s gunsmith. 

After watching that speech to Congress this morning and then watching Republicans run to microphones to talk about their support for Ukraine, this opening note was almost just a picture of us with steam coming out of our fucking ears. But we couldn’t figure out how to do that, so we’re just gonna once again allow our Ukrainian brothers and sisters to speak for us with an eloquence we greatly admire —

That but for Republicans and the reporters who enable them. 

Note two: Speaking of people who we greatly admire who are artists when it comes to a good comeback —

Are we seriously not supposed to notice that no Republicans were on Putin’s list? 

Note three: You might’ve seen Joe Manchin playing on his ipad today while the world was listening to Zelensky. If there’s such a thing as climate change porn, that’s probably what he was looking at. We’ve never liked that sonofabitch, but after Sarah Bloom Raskin withdrew her nomination to the Fed yesterday, we really hate that motherfucker. More: New York Times

Note four: Oh and speaking of centrist trash, it turns out Kyrtsen Sinema is an even worse person that we thought. In a new book from a couple of Republican NYT reporters, we learn that Sinema got mad that she had to wear a mask around Biden, is chummy with GOP lobbyists and good buddies with an insurrectionist. Goddamn we need a day off from this asshole. More: Axios

Note five: Andrew Cuomo wants a comeback? Dude, let’s talk about undercounted nursing home deaths first. More: CNN

Note six: They’re gonna keep the Proud Boys leader in jail until his trial. That seems like one of the first smart responses we’ve heard to Jan. 6 since it happened. Now do Roger Stone. More: CNN

Note seven: Did y’all watch Chernobyl? Yeah, we did too. And this story is extra fucked up. More: Wall Street Journal

Note eight: Wisconsin Republicans are still trying to overturn the 2020 election, but they’re collecting free passes like they’re fucking beanie babies. More: Associated Press

Note nine: Oh wow. So we knew Herschel Walker was violent and dumb, but we had no idea he was this dumb. Evolution and IVF. Two things Herschel doesn’t believe in. Cool guy, Mitch. More: Washington Post

Note 10: Are we seriously not going to pass money to deal with the next inevitable COVID surge? Are we really this fucking dumb? Don’t answer that. More: NPR

Note 11: Biden is heading to Brussels next week in a show of support for NATO and as a middle finger to Putin. Hell yeah. More: CNN

Note 12: Hard to believe it has been a year since a shooter killed six Asian women in Atlanta. We don’t have anything clever to say other than this shit makes our hearts hurt. More: 11 Alive

Note 13: The Biden administration is offering Temporary Protected Status to Afghans in the U.S. to keep them from being deported. The right thing to do. More: USA Today

Note 14: Lara Logan’s brain isn’t sprained. It is all the way broken. And really it’s tragic to see. More: Raw Story

Note 15: Did you see Tucker… you know what? We’re not doing this today. Fuck that little weenie.

Note 16: Unreal. In a White House full of criminals, the Black woman is the only one being punished. As a country, we are embarrassingly consistent on this shit. More: CNN

Note 17: Look, Papa John’s is gross. And we’re not just talking about the pizza, which also tastes like hate. More: NBC News

Note 18: We were worried the Jan. 6 committee would be too gutless and afraid to do what needed to be done. Looks like we were right to worry. More: ABC News

Note 19: Putin just accused the West of trying to “cancel” Russia. Nope. Just you, mothefucker.

Note 20: And on that happy note, let us get to the news section. We realize this might not be a great time to be taking off, so we really appreciate y’all understanding. And thanks for all your supportive emails. We’ll be back Monday and ready to watch Judge Jackson start the process of joining the Supreme Court. Until then, keep cussing and stay sexy. We love y’all.

Hero

This morning Ukrainian President Zelensky addressed Congress virtually, invoking MLK and Pearl Harbor and Sept. 11. He showed a video that made clear the ravages of Russia’s brutal attacks. He asked for more help. He showed everyone in that building what it means to be a leader and to love your country. It still appears unlikely the U.S. will go along with a no-fly zone, but it seems safe to say his call to action will move Washington to do more. Biden was already announcing another $800 million in military assistance today. That thing was over hours ago and we still have goosebumps that are crying. More: ABC News

Get better!

There sure are a lot of big name people getting COVID, which is weird because Washington is acting like that shit is over. We’re sending our best wishes to Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff who announced yesterday he has tested positive. And to the Democratic House members who seem to have gotten it at the Democratic retreat. If you’re not yet boosted, please get boosted. More: CNN, New York Times

History

Because Joe Manchin spiked his first nominee, Biden needed a new OMB director. And yesterday, Shalana Young became the first Black woman to lead that crucial office. She’s so qualified even 14 Republicans voted for her. This is important, and we are damn glad to see it. More: NBC News

Today’s clips

The Senate on Tuesday passed a measure that would make Daylight Saving Time permanent across the United States. More: CNN

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