Today's Big Stuff 1.31.22

1.31.22

It’s Monday. There are 281 days until the midterm elections. Republicans just can’t help themselves when it comes to racism, Trump threatens America again and the Fulton County DA asks for some help from the FBI.

Be advised: We tend to cuss more and spell more shit wrong on Mindays. Fuck. You know what we mean.

Note: Holy crap, Sexy Patriots! Where the hell did January go?! Like we just started 2022 and now it’s a twelfth of the way done. What? Everybody measures shit in twelfths. And the fact that we’re just 10/twelfths away from the midterm elections is goddamn jarring.

Here’s something else that’s jarring — if we don’t step up and save this country again, then the dumbest cruelest grossest people you can imagine are gonna take a crap-covered wrecking ball to everything we love about this place. And as much as we want to believe that justice is coming for Trump and bringing hell with it (h/t Tombstone), we just can’t bank on it. You know why?

Because that motherfucker can’t stop confessing, and he’s still walking around free as a goddamn bird. Except instead of singing, he’s confessing. Over and over and over again. You know at the end of A Time to Kill when Samuel L. Jackson yells “Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!” And you know in A Few Good Men when Jack Nicholson yells “you’re goddamn right I did!” about the code red? Ok so combine those quotes in a blender with OJ’s If I Did It and you still wouldn’t come close to Trump’s coup confession tour. It might be the most insulting coup attempt in history. He’s just rubbing our goddamn faces in it. And we prefer to have our faces rubbed in freedom and justice.

So, let’s get back to it and really leave it all out on the field for these last 10 twelfths! Go team! Go democracy! Fuck yeah!

Note two: Were the fractions even close to right?

Note three: Thanks to Joe Manchin, Kyrsten Sinema and their Republican buddies, this WWII vet can’t fucking vote. More: Click2Houston

Note four: This is a story about how the nation’s first Black vice president was in very serious danger. So why isn’t it a bigger deal? More: CNN

Note five: We forgot to include this last week, and we’re sorry about that. But this fella running for Congress sure is inspirational. We remember his daughter’s horrible murder, and we’re rooting hard for him. More: CNN

Note six: Bless this man for trying. It’s a shame we live in a country that didn’t hear him. More: Washington Post

Note seven: NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab has a woman leader for the first time. Congrats! More: LAist

Note eight: Y’all see that the state trooper who told his governor to kiss his ass over COVID mandates has died? Didn’t see that coming. More: Mediaite

Note nine: We love tiktokers. Especially when they fuck with fleece vest fascists. More: Washington Post, Associated Press

Note 10: Oh nothing just a poll showing that one in four Americans thinks violence against the government is sometimes ok. Trump’s real legacy. More: NPR

Note 11: Wow. Take a look at the big number Democrats raised. Folks, this year’s elections ain’t been decided yet. We’ve still got a big say in what happens. More: ABC News

Note 12: It sure is a shame to see Spotify struggling under the weight of Joe Rogan’s bullshit. Also, how freaking much do we love Neil Young and Joni Mitchell? Yeah, we already did too. More: Associated Press, Variety

Note 13: There’s just no fucking way Clarence Thomas should be on the Supreme Court. Hell, he shouldn’t be on the People’s Court. More: Washington Post

Note 14: Here’s a sliver of good news out of Wisconsin as far as drop boxes are concerned. More: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Note 15: Here are three stories — one is about how the supply chain is doing well, one is about how farmers are doing great under Biden and one is about how workers are feeling more empowered. These are all great things, and they are the kinds of things we gotta talk to our friends and neighbors about. More: CNN, NPR, NBC News

Note 16: Guess we could’ve made those three separate posts. Damnit.

Note 17: Ugh. RIP to Johnny Fever. More: Hollywood Reporter

Note 18: This is a great story about possible Supreme Court Justice Kentanji Brown Jackson. More: Washington Post

Note 19: Want to see something crazy? Democrats actually fought back and in New York we’re picking up three seats. Gerrymandering is gross. But as long as those fuckers are doing it, we should too. More: Washington Post

Note 20: Ok, SPs, let’s get our hot asses to the news section. We hope y’all got plenty of rest this weekend because we gotta get our ass-kicking faces on again. Let’s rock n roll!

Who they are

It didn’t take long. Biden hasn’t even named a Supreme Court nominee yet and Republican senators are already calling her an affirmative action hire. The first to do it was not surprisingly a 200 year old mummy from Mississippi named Roger Wicker. Ted Cruz followed up this morning by claiming it was somehow offensive to Black women. Thanks for looking out, Ted. And Susan Collins was on the Sunday shows saying it was wrong for Biden to make such a pledge. Fuck off, Susan. Shockingly, only Lindsey Graham seemed to be on board. Unfortunately, we stopped taking that butt-licking toad seriously a long time ago. Republicans are getting ready to show us how gross they are. Let’s hope Americans are paying attention. More: Mississippi Free Press, CNN

Anyone hear this?

As we mentioned in the opening note, Trump can’t stop confessing. This weekend at a rally in Texas, Trump said he might pardon the Jan. 6 terrorists and he called more more so-called protests if he’s indicted. Oh and then for good measure he put out a statement saying explicitly that Mike Pence could have “overturned the election.” It’s a fucking shame he’s saying all of these things at a frequency at which Merrick Garland can’t hear him. More: Huff Post, Huff Post II, Associated Press

Help in Georgia

As a result of Trump’s ongoing threats to major American cities, the Fulton County DA investigating Trump and taking him in front of a grand jury has asked for FBI back-up. It’s a good call probably, but let’s hope they don’t fuck up her investigation. More: AJC

Today’s clips

The January 6 Select Committee has issued subpoenas for 14 Republicans from seven states who served on bogus slates of Trump electors in 2020 as part of the Trump campaign's scheme to subvert the Electoral College. More: CNN

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