Today's Big Stuff 12.16.21

12.16.21

It’s Thursday. There are 327 days until the midterm elections. Democrats try to pivot to voting rights as Manchin kills BBB’s ‘21 hopes, the White House takes aim at lead pipes and the president goes to Kentucky. 

Be advised: This newsletter cusses a lot and spells stuff wrong, but at least we’re putting out a goddamp newsletter today. 

Note: Whole. E. Shit. Sexy patriots! How in the effing hell are you?! Us? Well, there’s less of us to love but what’s left is somehow more lovable. Hey, gallbladders are like Lindsey Graham’s law degree anyway — totally fucking useless! Oof. That was rough. That wasn’t even a dad joke. That was a great-great-great-granddad who’s been dead for decades and nobody thought he was funny when he was alive joke. What can we say? It has been a week! 

So let’s check in and see what we missed. Republicans violently tried to overthrow the government and elected members were a part of it. Ok we knew that. Manchin and Sinema are a corrupt as they are dumb and are sinking the whole damn Democratic agenda hurting millions of people along the way. Ok knew that. Gym Jordan tried to cover up some heinous crimes and it’s pretty out in the open and acknowledged fact that he’s a guilty creep. Ok we knew that. Fox News is part of an effort with the GOP to destroy American democracy. Ok we knew that. TBSers are hot as hell and the best damn people in the world. Ok we definitely knew that!

That last one might deserve the most attention today. Scanning today’s headlines, it’s easy to feel like this is the low point in the movie and a happy ending is far from guaranteed. From a stubborn unending pandemic to stalled Democratic efforts to a relentless effort by a major political party and their violent friends to overthrow American democracy, it seems both safe and eloquent to say that shit is pretty fucked up right about now. So why are we smiling? Because we wish you could see what we just saw. For the last couple of days, y’all have sent the kindest notes and words of encouragement. You’ve lifted our spirits and reminded us that none of us are alone in this fight. Y’all are the fucking best, and we just wanted to say thank you. Whether it’s helping out with tornado relief or giving the finger to fascists or sending a nice note to some strangers at a cussing newsletter, there are reminders everywhere that Americans are still more awesome than asshole. We’re still worth fighting for. And today that’s what we’re gonna focus on. Tomorrow we’ll go back to cussing at the sky and shitting our pants about how messed up everything is. But for today our faith is renewed. Thanks again, sexy patriots!

Note two: We received a lot of notes that made us LOL, and we loved them even though it hurts to LOL. Our favorite was probably the one telling us to reach out to Joe Rogan for medical advice. Y’all are too much. 

Note three: Let’s talk about politics! Thank you to Donna Brazile for calling out the bullshit Vice President Harris is facing. More: The Grio

Note four: We’re shocked that the same corrupt assholes who refused to start the presidential transition also dropped the ball when it came to Trump’s corrupt hotel. More: NBC News

Note five: Remember this whacky story out of Texas? How many of these fucked up news items are we going to suddenly remember now that we’re in the first anniversary of a violent Republican coup attempt? More: Houston Chronicle

Note six: So we were out for most of the Mark Meadows stuff. Um, why ain’t he in jail yet? More: Washington Post

Note seven: Why did Republicans help us raise the debt ceiling? Because they were actually helping us build a time bomb. More: Washington Post

Note eight: Apparently sedatives make this judge a racist monster. Looks like the Republican Party has a new star. More: The Advertiser, NBC News

Note nine: It’s really hard to say who’s worse — Manchin or Sinema. They’re both corrupt, but we think Manchin is also genuinely dumb. Sinema just seems corrupt and cruel. More: The Daily Beast

Note 10: Sen. Warren says expand the court. We’re with Liz. More: CNN

Note 11: RIP bell hooks. More: New York Times

Note 12: A Trump judge threw out Trump’s efforts to keep the House from getting his tax returns. The judge also said Richard Neal has the power to release those returns to the public. So where are they? More: CNN

Note 13: Interest rates are about to go up. Plan accordingly. More: Associated Press

Note 14: Supply chains are easing and people are getting their Christmas shit on time. Thanks, Mr. President. More: CNN

Note 15: Maybe we’re silly to worry so much about the death of democracy when Earth is dying too. More: NBC News

Note 16: Ron DeSantis is truly nuts. And truly terrifying. More: The Daily Beast

Note 17: Well this just made us poop ourselves. Seems like former military officers being a part of an ongoing coup attempt should be bigger news. More: Reuters, Washington Post

Note 18: Well, Trump has wrecked America, but at least he isn’t getting his fucking showerheads. That’ll learn him. More: Washington Post

Note 19: There are plenty of things to be disappointed about right now, but we really shouldn’t sleep on the progress Biden has made appointing new judges. More: CNN, Huff Post

Note 20: Manchin seems to be holding up well under the pressure. Also, what kind of insult is “you’re bullshit?” Dumbfuck can’t even cuss right. More: The Hill

Note 21: Ok, you super sexy patriots, let’s get our hot asses to the news. Goddamn it’s good to be back. Have a great day!

Pivot

So Manchin and Sinema basically announced yesterday that they are killing what’s left of Joe Biden’s domestic agenda for the year. Does it have a chance of passing in an election year? Maybe. But they definitely fucked us. Oh and they’re definitely fucking the millions of Americans who have been receiving a child tax credit. The idea now is to pivot to a focus on voting rights, something we don’t have the votes to pass because of the fucking filibuster, which Sinema reiterated her support for last night. Yeah, it all sucks. Two corrupt assholes are ruining everything. More: Huff Post, Bloomberg, Washington Post, Washington Post II

Actual governing

The White House is gonna roll out a plan to replace 100 percent of lead pipes and get rid of lead paint. Vice President Harris announced the effort, which is being funded by the infrastructure bill. This is the kind of thing Americans desperately need from their government, and we’re damn glad to see the VP running point. More: CNN

Bluegrass Joe

Just days after tornados devastated parts of Western Kentucky, President Biden flew to the ruby red part of the ruby red state to stand with Americans who lost everything. While there were a couple of miserable fucking assholes who thought it was funny to yell “Let’s Go Brandon,” Kentuckians were happy to see their president show up when they needed him. And he didn’t throw a single fucking paper towel at anyone. More: Washington Post, CNN

Today’s clips

The organization nearly doubled its revenue last year, according to a recent public filing. Project Veritas, led by James O’Keefe, raised about $22 million in 2020, compared with $12 million in 2019, the tax filing shows. More: Washington Post

The Biden administration is ending the practice of holding undocumented migrant families in detention centers, turning to remote tracking technology such as ankle bracelets as alternatives. More: Axios

The House on Tuesday passed Rep. Ilhan Omar’s (D-Minn.) bill, 219-212, to combat Islamophobia amid controversy over how to handle Rep. Lauren Boebert's (R-Colo.) anti-Muslim rhetoric toward Omar. More: Axios

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