Today's Big Stuff 12.14.21

12.14.21

Hey sexy patriots! Our beloved Uncle Sam had his gall bladder removed yesterday and so he’s on the mend today. We apologize for the lack of cussing, and we hope to return to our normally scheduled fuck-bombs tomorrow.

It turns out the procedure was a cakewalk compared to getting Sam’s foot out of his mouth or — and say it with us — removing Lindsey Graham’s head from Trump’s ass.

Thank you for all the well wishes, and have a great day.