Today's Big Stuff 11.28.22

11.28.22

It’s Monday. There are 708 days until the presidential election. The GOP gets even more nazi-ish, the beltway media embarrasses itself over a wedding and a deranged freak tries to break his new toy.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity but only on days it’s published.

Note: Sexy Patriots! Holy freaking shit we missed y’all!!! And you somehow got sexier and more patriotic over the break. Well done. We did the same. Ok that’s a lie. We ate to the point of being gross and one of us even got busted drinking right out of the gravy boat, causing a family fight and then an intervention. But it could’ve been worse.

Yeah, Trump and Kanye’s Nazi Thanksgiving Spectacular made clear that TBS and the Sexy Patriots still have a shitload of work to do. Are we tired to saving this country from dumbfuck nazi assholes? Of course we are. But it’s just what we do. And we look damn good doing it.

So swallow that last bit of turkey and take a shot of gravy because it’s time to get back to it. Because if we don’t tell those miserable shit-eating pigfuckers to kiss our asses, who the hell will? The New York Times? Yeah, we didn’t think so. Great to be back with you, SPs:)

Note two: So one thing we fucked up and didn’t do is return emails this last week and we feel like real dickheads about it. We love y’alls’ notes and we promise to reply in the next few days. Sorry about that.

Note three: One last note about TBS business — we got a few emails before the break asking us to hit pause on the election day countdown. We totally get it. We’re a little burnt out too, and we’re gonna be taking more days off over the next month to recharge after a tough fight this year. But we can’t hit pause on the countdown. It keeps us focused. And more importantly, it keeps us from thinking we can wait until later to make a stand. We hope y’all understand.

Note four: LINDSEY GRAHAM TESTIFIED IN FRONT OF GEORGIA GRAND JURY. We’re sorry for the all caps, but we just didn’t ever think the day would come. Now let’s hope Georgia really shocks the shit out of us by indicting his sorry ass. More: Associated Press

Note five: Speaking of Georgia, voters are voting!

Note six: Let’s take a moment to say while we are thrilled and encouraged to see so much excitement to vote, we fucking hate that the Republican Party has made it such a pain in the ass that people have to wait in line for hours.

Note seven: Need more incentive? Herschel Walker said young people haven’t earned the right to vote and that Trump did more for Black people than Obama. Let’s beat this dumb motherfucker.

Note eight: This also happened…

Note nine: If you want to read a good piece on why the Right is completely losing its shit, this is a good one. The answer? Because they’re fucking losing. More: Philadelphia Inquirer

Note 10: Well this is weird. Republican assholes created election fraud task forces that can’t find any election fraud. It’s almost like they were completely full of shit from the very beginning. More: Associated Press

Note 11: Are y’all watching any World Cup? The shit that’s going down in Qatar is gross, but we can’t help tuning in to root for our boys.

Note 12: And Iran wants us kicked out of the World Cup. Too fucking bad. We’re playing them tomorrow, and it’s going to be big. More: CNN

Note 13: All eyes on Arizona today as we wait and see if they actually fucking certify their election results or keep playing games for that dipshit with the crazy eyes. More: Huff Post

Note 14: Some Oregon sheriffs have decided they know more than the voters. Seems like they should find out what the other side of the jail door looks like. More: OPB

Note 15: While we were all eating turkey and Trump was kissing nazi ass, special counsel Jack Smith was busy calling Trump a dirty fucking liar. Trump has really been freaking out about this over on something called Truth Social. More: Law and Crime

Note 16: We’ve got a big race brewing in Wisconsin. Y’all in? More: Madison.com

Note 17: Karen Bass won more votes than any candidate for Los Angeles mayor ever. Remember when the New York Times saw the early primary results and decided LA was going Republican? LOL. More: Los Angeles Times

Note 18: Kari Lake says she’s going to fight the election results. Yeah, we don’t have any fucking idea who that is either. Sounds like some loser. More: NO LINK

Note 19: Have y’all gotten the new booster yet? How about your flu shot? We promise they’ll both make you sexier. If that’s even possible.

Note 20: Ok you gorgeous freaking SPs, let’s go do some news. We’re so fucking happy to be back with y’all we can’t fucking stand it. We hope y’all had an awesome nazi-free Thanksgiving. Love y’all!

Yike

Donald Trump says he only knew one of the two antisemites he had Thanksgiving dinner with last Thursday, but he sure as fuck had a Holocaust-denying, n-word saying piece of shit join him, and according to Kanye, Trump was quite impressed by the little nazi dirtbag. Look, Trump hangs out with white supremacist asssholes because he’s a white supremacist asshole. Everyone has figured this out except other white supremacist assholes and, for some reason, the reporters who cover him. And of course the rest of the Republican Party, which once again responded to news of Trump’s evil by being silent chickenshits. More: Huff Post, Axios

Yikes

So last week, several prominent reporters and editors from some big-time news outlets lost their shit publicly because they weren’t invited to cover Naomi Biden’s wedding at the White House. They were particularly incensed that Vogue got exclusive photos of the bride. In response to this embarrassing shit, we’re gonna take up a collection to buy those reporter and editors some goddamn self respect. Not hard to figure out how we got to a place where everything is covered in two inches of shit when our national news media’s priorities are this fucked up. More: Business Insider

What a fucking loser

Well it sure seems like a racist billionaire monster buying twitter is going about how we thought it would. Yesterday the pale dingus attacked Col. Vindman while using antisemitic tropes, posted a picture of his nightstand with a pistol and a bunch of cokes on it oh and he might’ve helped China cut down on protests. And that’s not even getting into how the New Zealand gun massacre was uploaded to twitter. It’s a fucking disaster. We’re on Post and Mastodon, but we’re not sure about either. So for now, we’re just hanging out in the dumpster fire like everyone else.

Today’s Clips

Protesters angered by strict anti-virus measures called for China’s powerful leader to resign, an unprecedented rebuke as authorities in at least eight cities struggled to suppress demonstrations Sunday that represent a rare direct challenge to the ruling Communist Party. More: Huff Post

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