Today's Big Stuff 10.21.21

10.21.21

It’s Thursday. There are 12 days until this year’s elections and 383 days until the midterm elections. Republicans block voting rights bill again, Manchin talks about switching parties because he is the freaking worst and Biden keeps pushing for big things. 

Be advised: This newsletter contains lots of cussing and lots of fuckinp typos.

Note: Hey, before we really start cussing like some deranged mofos today we just wanted to say thank you. We can keep being obscene and making these shocking jokes about the enemies of democracy because of your support, and we just wanted to tell y’all that we’re damn grateful. Y’all are the force behind this fucked up little newsletter and that whole fight for the soul of America thang, and well, we think that’s pretty goddamn awesome. Thank you! From the bottom of our obscene little newsletter heart, thank you! Love y’all! 

Note two: Soooooo how are you, sexy patriots? Well you look like you got your beauty sleep with a hotness nap to boot. We don’t know how you do it. Yesterday was rough though, right? These sausage-making days are kinda fucking brutal. Like we really pay attention to this stuff and we’ve completely lost the plot. We have a hunch we’re not the only ones. And then you add in the GOP going on all in on Team Bannon and not letting people vote and oh yeah fucking fascism and yeah this has been a heavy week. It seems like they’re all heavy though, right? When was the last time it was Spring Break in this mothereffer? It’s hard to govern, y’all. It’s damn hard and it’s ugly and it’s corruption smacking you right in the face while all you want is some common sense and a little compassion and a little freaking progress. Well, more than a little. It’s even harder when the opposition party is pointing a nuclear weapon at your national nether regions while pissing on your couch. All we can say is keep the faith and keep going and, of course, keep cussing. One is a lot easier than the other two, but all three will make you feel better. 

Believe it or not, instead of this little pep talk we actually had this horrifically pessimistic take on what this week has felt like when watching Washington and wanting results and accountability. It was pretty messed up. It talked about Dan Rather and Rick Moranis (We love you!) and the movie Honey I Shrunk the Kids and society as a whole and flaming bags of dog poo. Ultimately, we decided to scrap that because it was a little dark and these days it’s imperative we keep our heads up and look for the laughter in this burning bag of shit madness. 

And besides, did you see Trump’s hilarious new endeavor? TRUTH? We couldn’t stop laughing. He might as well have called it NATURAL BLONDE. As the good folks on twitter pointed out, one of the terms of service is that you can’t disparage the platform. Oh Donald. Oooooohhh Donald. We have not yet begun to disparage you, you demon shart! Fuck your knock-off twitter.  

So anyway, let’s keep our heads up, stay engaged, keep rowing forward and fighting for freedom, keep cussing like some damn sailors and looking damn good while doing it. And also, Mr. Moranis, if you’re reading this, we’re huge fans and while we miss your iconic roles, we hope we speak for most when we say we hope you’ve found a life of fulfillment and happiness outside the glare of movie stardom. And if you’re not Rick Moranis, well, we’re not either. Sucks doesn’t it? Try to have a good day anyway. We know we will. More: Deadline

Note three: Hey, so after that fucking insanity, how’s about we be responsible for a hot second? Here on the other side of this link is the latest information about vaccine booster and mixing and matching. We have to keep up with that stuff because we made a gameshow host president. More: Axios

Note four: This afternoon, the full House is going to vote to hold Steve Bannon in contempt. Republicans are going to vote against it because they have sided with domestic terrorists. Doesn’t it seem like that should be a bigger story? More: Associated Press, CNN

Note five: Gym Jordan and Matt Gaetz were defending Bannon yesterday. And Jordan of course stepped in it as he did. More: Washington Post

Note six: Are we the last goddamn people on the planet to know that Paul Rudd was starring in a new Ghostbusters? That’s exciting. 

Note seven: Hey, so one scheduling note — tomorrow is Adam’s birthday (Happy birthday!!!), and we so thought we might make this a three-day weekend. We hope that’s cool with y’all. And if it’s not, let us know and we’ll send you some cuss words. 

Note eight: We have a Monmouth poll showing a tie race in Virginia. Folks, this isn’t one we can fuck around with. We gotta bring this thing home. More: Monmouth

Note nine: Weekly jobless claims fell to a 19-month low. So that’s good. More: Reuters

Note 10: It’s not our imagination — Kyrsten Sinema is the fucking worst. More: Salon

Note 11: And others are taking notice. More: New York Times

Note 12: Why in the hell are Ted Cruz and his fellow Republicans so obsessed with kids’ genitals. It is fucked up with a capital F. More: Huff Post

Note 13: Ok well this is funnier than anything we’ve written today. More: Dallas News

Note 14: Here’s a question — why is Condi Rice treated like some kind of moderate when she’s been fucking up this country for decades? Um, no, Condi, we are not moving on. More: Mediaite

Note 15: Merrick Garland is testifying today, and honestly we don’t really give a shit until he starts doing his goddamn job.

Note 16: So we are really really really freaking embarrassed. Here at TBS, we don’t catch everything, but we sure as hell try. And yesterday we totally and completely biffed it. Yesterday was Vice President Harris’s birthday, and we blew it. We are so sorry, VP Harris. We hope you can forgive us. We hope we can forgive ourselves.

Note 17: Ok superstars, we used up too much space talking about Rick Moranis, so let’s get to the news. We hope y’all have a fantastic weekend, and we’ll see you back here Monday. Love you!!!

Weird

In the Senate Wednesday, Republicans filibustered Joe Manchin’s voting rights compromise, making clear that Manchin is a moron. Remember when he said he could find 10 Republicans to vote for it? Yeah, didn’t happen. And tbh, the Biden WH has been pretty weak on this issue. The slow march to fascism continues. More: NBC News

Asshole

Speaking of Manchin, Mother Jones reported yesterday that Manchin has been thinking about leaving the Democratic Party. Manchin responded by calling the report “bullshit” and “rumors.” Then he confirmed this morning that he offered to leave the party, become an indie and caucus with Dems. We know we can’t tell his corrupt ass to hit the bricks, but goddamnit we sure want to. More: Mother Jones

Go Joe!

Yesterday he was in Scranton. Today he’s in Baltimore and doing a CNN townhall tonight. President Joe Biden is working hard to land the plane on a massive economic package that would actually help Americans. If you didn’t see it, check out his remarks in Scranton yesterday. There’s a fire in his belly, and we like to see it. More: Washington Post, Huff Post

Today’s clips

In his recent attempt to justify his memo, first revealed by Bob Woodward and Robert Costa’s book Peril, Eastman makes two claims, one of which seems to confirm his guilt, while the other advances an all-too-convenient alibi that ultimately fails. More: Slate

White House officials have explored in recent weeks whether the National Guard could be deployed to help address the nation’s mounting supply chain backlog, three people with knowledge of the matter said. More: Washington Post

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