Today's Big Stuff 10.1.21

10.1.21

Happy Friday! There are 403 days until the midterm elections. Some holy shit good news on the COVID front, House progressives hold the line for what we voted for and some good polling news for midterm bedwetters (like us). 

Pre-Note: Ok, so this is unusual for us, but we’ve got a big goddamn election going on in Virginia, and we need all hands on deck. If you live there, have you voted? If you don’t live there, are you making calls and texts? Let’s do what we do best and kick a little Trumpy ass. 

Note: Woohoo! We did it, super duper sexy patriots! We made it to the weekend! And while that isn’t quite as big of an accomplishment now as it was when Trump was in office and each week lasted for three months and it was always a little possible that the deranged fucker might nuke Portland or some shit, it still feels pretty damn good. Besides, it ain’t like things magically became easy street once we got the orange out. The truth is your hot ass has been through hell. We don’t talk about it enough. You’re living through a once-in-a-century pandemic, an assault on American democracy not seen since the Civil War and just endless dumbfuckery from the dumbest dumbfucks to ever fall out of the dumbfuck tree. But here’s the thing — you’re doing great! Like, shit is sooooooo messed up cuckoo crazy right now, but you’re still standing. You’re still fighting. You’re still cussing with us. You’re still smoking hot and the best dancer in the whole disco. In our book, that makes you one badass mofo who is not to be trifled with. 

It’s hard goddamn work being a sexy patriot right now. Even if you do make it look easy, it’s probably exhausting and as scary as the thought of Trump’s little fungus peen. But seriously, you are doing great. Give yourself a break. Pat yourself on the back. Get yourself a goddamn cookie. Maybe even put some ice cream or some weed on it. You deserve it. We’re proud of you, and we’re damn proud to know you. 

So rest up this weekend, you gorgeous freedom fighters. Because we’ve got work to do to save this shining goddamn city on a hill before it slides into the fucking sewer. And there’s nobody we’d rather do that with than you. 

Note two: We’ve got a fresh offering for you over on TodaysBigStuff.com from Uncle Sam. He says that Joe Manchin sucks donkey buttcheek, but he is actually right about something. This is also a good moment for us to say thank you again to all of you. These last couple weeks we’ve seen an explosion of new subscriptions, and that’s so much better than other kinds of explosions that we might or might not have caused last Wednesday at a chemical plant outside of Topeka. We love y’all, and we’re so fucking glad you’ve joined us. Together, we’re gonna do some big shit these next few years. 

Note three: Oh this sucks. No, not that Brett Kavanaugh has COVID, but that we’re fresh out of thoughts and prayers. Hold on. Let us check in the back. Nope. Just a whole bin of fuck yous. More: Washington Post

Note four: It’s pretty hilarious that the Republican operatives who call themselves Supreme Court justices have all hit the PR circuit to try and convince us that they’re not actually Republican operatives. And what are they getting for their efforts? Headlines like this. Hilarious. More: Washington Post

Note five: How is it October? Wasn’t it vaccination summer like 15 minutes ago? We suppose time flies when everything is burning to the fucking ground.

Note six: Reading about Arizonans who hate Kyrsten Sinema is our new happy place. More: CNN

Note seven: Mother Jones follows WaPo in asking UM WHY THE FUCK AREN’T WE TALKING ABOUT THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING INSTRUCTION MANUAL TEAM TRUMP WROTE FOR OVERTHROWING THE GODDAMN GOVERNMENT. More: Mother Jones

Note eight: Janet Yellen says kill the debt ceiling. We say hell yeah and how can we help. We’ll help dig if there’s a way to bury that sonofabitch out in the woods. More: New York Times

Note nine: A new AP poll has Biden’s approval at 50-49. This is once again being presented as a bad thing even though the shit-for-brains former guy who stared at an eclipse can’t even count to 50. More: AP-NORC

Note 10: Sen. Ron Johnson paid almost no taxes. This is a big shock because you’d think a US Senator who sold us out to Russia, domestic terrorists and a deadly fucking virus would be all about doing his civic duty. More: Associated Press

Note 11: Why the hell have we not shut down this ridiculous Durham probe? He’s got nothing, and he seems to be making shit up. Hey, Merrick Garland, eat your fucking spinach and become Popeye already. More: CNN

Note 12: Remember when Republicans were all like oh no who’s going to take care of the Afghans and then they were like oh wait we don’t care because we’re racist assholes? More: Washington Post

Note 13: So this is a really cool story we’ve been following. It’s the story of Bruce’s Beach in California. And how it’s finally being returned to the Black family it was taken from. More: LA Times

Note 14: Fox News desperately wants the people dying from COVID to be Black and living in blue cities. Fortunately, that ain’t quite how it’s going. More: NBC News

Note 15: Fortunately? Man, we have turned into some freaking ghouls. 

Note 16: You know how much Sinema sucks? Well that’s how much Katie Porter rocks. More: Washington Post

Note 17: LOL. South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem says she has cut off all ties with Corey Lewandowski. We had a joke here, but it made us dry heave so we’re just gonna point and laugh at the dirtbags. More: The Daily Beast

Note 18: We don’t normally do happy birthdays around here because that’s Politico Playbook’s thing and they’re bad people who we here once hit someone with their car in Michigan and just kept driving. But for former President Jimmy Carter, we’ll make an exception. Happy birthday, Mr. President. How in the world do you make 97 look so damn good?

Note 19: Karl Rove is in the WSJ today warning Democrats that we’ll lose more seats if we pass our agenda. LOL. On behalf of Democrats and Iraqis everywhere, please eat shit, Karl. Oops, looks like he already was. 

Note 20: So we’ve talked a lot about the cowards of Congress. Now here’s a story about the courageous. The more Cori Bushes we have in our caucus, the better we’ll be as a party. More: CNN

Note 21: Ok, rock stars, let’s get to the news and then let’s get to the motherflippin’ weekend, shall we? Oh and here’s one of our favorites to help you unwind a bit… More: YouTube

Yay!

So we actually have some good COVID news today. First of all, rates are falling all over the country. We’re cautiously optimistic  about that because it’s getting ready to get cold and a lot of the country is about to go indoors. However, Merck announced today that it has produced a pill that cuts death and other bad effects in half. Woohoo! Isn’t it weird to keep cheering for pharmaceutical companies. We usually hate those motherfuckers. But we need the good news. Because NBC is reporting we’re now at 700,000 deaths. More: CNN, Stat News

Update

You might have noticed there was no vote on the Bipartisan Infrastructure Bill yesterday. Well, that’s because progressives held the line and were gonna vote it down. Yeah, there’s still a lot of moving parts, but it does seem like we’re getting closer to a deal despite the hysterics of the NYT and their love of Dems-in-disarray storylines. Joe Manchin and Sinema are still fucking awful and gumming up the words, and it’s entirely possible Sinema still kills the whole thing. That said, we’re getting closer. Keep the faith. Especially in Speaker Pelosi. More: Huff Post, Associated Press, New York Times

Poll news

So we told you that Biden’s numbers appear to be on a bit of a rebound. And that’s great. It was bound to happen when cable news anchors stopped openly weeping about Biden ending a 20-year war. But we’ve still been really worried about the midterms. Welp, here’s some great midterm news — a new NPR/Marist poll shows Democrats with an 8-point lead on the generic congressional question. YouGov and Morning Consult have it at 4 points. It’s important to keep in mind though that with Republican cheating and polling failures, this is basically a tie. So let’s keep kicking ass. More: NPR

Today’s clips

NO CLIPS ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND :) 

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