3.1.23 Another Win For Dark Brandon And America
It’s Wednesday. There are 615 days until the presidential election. The US is getting a new Labor Secretary, Georgia Republicans can’t stop won’t stop and another win for Dark Brandon and America.
Be advised: This newsletter cusses out corrupt dumbasses. But it’s really sweet to cool people.
Note: Happy Hump Day, Sexy Patriots! We came up with an update for our Goofus and Gallant bit and we’re so excited to share it with you. Today we would like to talk to you about Jamie R and Jamie C.
Imagine if you will a Highlights Magazine for adults with some cartoon drawings of two people. Jamie R is a smart person who cares about America and truth. He is battling cancer, and yet he shows up every day taking on the dangerous bullshit of the Republican Party and embarrassing the living shit out of people like Jamie C or Lauren Boebert…
Raskin: Trump on more than 20 different occasions defended the performance of the Chinese government in terms of COVID.. so if there is a problem with the Chinese government unleashing the virus.. you would have to pin that on your favorite President Donald Trump not Joe Biden
— Acyn (@Acyn)
Feb 28, 2023
He did that like 20 different times yesterday! Sadly, Republicans never tire of being embarrassed for being dumb and all ass-kissy. Which brings us to Jamie C. A Jamie C. is a soulless moron who goes on Newsmax and says he wishes the president’s dead son had been indicted (Daily Beast). He also gets embarrassed like this…
L O L… These hearings aren’t going great for Republicans
— Acyn (@Acyn)
Feb 28, 2023
Goddamn that had to hurt. So there you have it, SPs. Be awesome like Jamie R. Don’t be a dumbfuck asshead like Jamie C. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Can someone please explain to us WHY THE HELL THE DIRECTOR OF THE FBI IS GOING ON FOX FUCKING NEWS AND SPREADING COVID CONSPIRACY THEORIES JUST DAYS AFTER FOX WAS EXPOSED FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE?! More: NPR
Note three: It gets worse. Today the Washington Post is reporting that FBI agents didn’t want to raid Mar-a-Lago because they are afraid of Trump. We can understand why Biden didn’t want this battle, but it’s here and he needs to clean house. More: Washington Post
Note four: The very rich people on the Supreme Court are going to fuck over the Americans who thought they were getting some relief on their student loans. We’re furious for everyone getting fucked over, but we are once again glad that the people of the United States will get to see a broken and corrupt SCOTUS laid bare. More: CNN
Note five: This is more Raskin because it’s long overdue that someone stood up and said this and we’re really fucking grateful he did.
Raskin to Boebert: Democrat is the noun. When you use it as an adjective, you say Democratic.. As if every time we mentioned the other party it just came out with a kind of political speech impediment like, oh, the Banana Republican Party.
— Acyn (@Acyn)
Feb 28, 2023
Note six: Republicans in Florida want to make it illegal to be a Democrat. That’s not an exaggeration. It’s a real bill. And we shouldn’t be surprised. After they banned books, it was only a matter of time until they banned the people who can read them. More: WESH
Note seven: So we’ve just gotta ask you, NYC — what the fuck? More: HuffPost
Note eight: Hey btw just a quick reminder that FOX NEWS WAS GIVING INSIDER INFO ABOUT THE BIDEN CAMPAIGN’S AD AND DEBATE STRATEGIES TO THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN. Biden should fire off like 50 lunatic tweets about how Fox was spying on him. His would at least be truthful. More: HuffPost
Note nine: So we’ve got some new mayoral candidates in Chicago and an April 4th runoff. We’re endorsing the same person we always endorse when it comes to Chicago — Anybody But Ditka. Also, Let’s go Brandon (Johnson). More: WGNTV
Note 10: And once again Matt Gaetz reminds us that if you’re gonna look like Beavis, you shouldn’t be a butthead…
Rep. Matt Gaetz asks about Global Times Investigative report.
@DOD_Policy Kahl: "Is this the Global Times from China?"
@RepMattGaetz: "No, this is well...yeah, it might be. Yeah..."
Kahl: "I don't take Beijing's propaganda at face value."
Gaetz: "Fair enough."
— CSPAN (@cspan)
Feb 28, 2023
Note 11: So here’s our COVID origin theory — we don’t know where the fuck it came from. But we don’t think the dumbshits do either. Mostly because they’re dumbshits. More: NO LINK
Note 12: Seriously why the fuck is Chris Wray doing Fox News exclusives?!
Note 13: Please meet Nebraska state Senator Machaela Cavanaugh. While bigots everywhere have declared war on trans folks, Sen. Cavanaugh is fighting back. Thank you, Senator! More: NBC News
Note 14: The governor of Tennessee sucks. How does a state with cities like Memphis and Nashville produce so many asshole politicians? That’s rhetorical. More: HuffPost
Note 15: We haven’t thought about Herschel Walker in forever how’s he doing oh dear…
Walker’s campaign paid $595,600 to a company called ‘Jetts’ to supposedly charter private planes. However, Fox has learned that ‘Jetts’ is a defunct car wash that was owned by a Walker donor.
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski)
Feb 28, 2023
Note 16: Dave Grohl is an all-time rock star. If anyone disagrees, then we are ready to have that debate. Nirvana alone justifies the statement. He also just seems like the coolest fucking guy on the planet. More: HuffPost
Note 17: Has Chris Wray been fired yet?
Note 18: You’ve heard a lot about the shit DeSantis is pulling in Florida. Now meet the people who are speaking up and pushing back. More: CNN
Note 19: This is for the Sexy Patriots who are having a shitty week. It’s the Peanuts gang singing Love Shack by the B-52s. More: YouTube
Note 20: Can’t hear that and not smile. Have an awesome Hump Day, SPs! Thanks for reading us! We hope to see y’all tomorrow!
Yesterday President Biden announced he is nominating Julie Su to be his next labor secretary, replacing Marty Walsh who left to run the NHL Players Association. And yes that does sound like a cooler job. But not as important. And by any measure, Su is a star who fights hard as hell for workers. We’re looking forward to her prompt Senate confirmation. More: CNN
So stop us if you’ve heard this one before — Georgia Republicans want to make it harder for people to vote. Goddamn these motherfuckers are exhausting. Now they want to ban dropboxes altogether. Yeah so yesterday the state Senate Ethics Committee voted out a bill that is illegal as hell. Marc Elias is already warning them what will happen if this goes through, but it’s a good reminder that we can’t take our eyes off those shady shitheads for one damn second.
An amended elections omnibus that Georgia elections officials testified might violate federal laws has passed the Senate Ethics committee, with an 11th-hour amendment that completely bans drop boxes among other key changes. #gapol
— stephen fowler (@stphnfwlr)
Mar 1, 2023
More good news for seniors and for the Biden White House. Drugmaker Eli Lilly announced this morning that it is capping the price of insulin at $35. So while Republicans continue to make absolute asses of themselves, Dark Brandon just keeps getting shit done to improve the lives of the American people. It’s a contrast we’re happy to talk about. More: CNBC
Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves (R) signed a new law banning gender-affirming care for trans youth on Tuesday amid Republican attacks against LGBTQ+ communities across the country. More: HuffPost
House Speaker Kevin McCarthy is defending his decision to give Fox News’ Tucker Carlson “exclusive” access to Jan. 6 security footage of the Capitol attack, despite the conservative commentator’s own work raising false claims and conspiracy theories about the 2021 riot over Joe Biden’s election. More: HuffPost
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