9.29.23 Go Joe!

Be advised: This newsletter cusses about politics. Are there people who don’t cuss about politics? Seems pretty fucking crazy to us.

Note: We did it, SPs! We made it to the weekend! And before we head out, there are two things we wanna do. The first is something we don’t think we’ve ever done before and we we’re pretty fucking excited about it. And if we have done it before and just forgot then just don’t tell us because we don’t like thinking about our increasingly shitty memories.

So what’s the big news? Today’s Big Stuff would like to issue an Official Fucking Proclamation stating that Rep. Jasmine Crokett is an Honorary TBS Sexy Patriot for her excellent use of the phrase “In the shitter” during yesterday’s embarrassingly idiotic impeachment bullshit. Congratulations. Well done and thank you for your service, Congresswoman. Seriously just take a moment to savor this…

LOLOLOL. Goddamn that is delightful. The “in the shitter” pronunciation is just perfect and worthy of the best editions of TBS. You can see why we had to make a thing to award her with. Let’s hope this is the start of the trend. More cussing out Republicans!

And now for the second thing we want to do. September is pretty much over, so here’s Earth, Wind and Fire again. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: If you like our cussing and outrage and attempts at jokes, then you’re gonna fucking love our weekly roundup podcast. On this week’s This Week’s Big Stuff, Sam goes after the “shutdown shitheads.” Join us!

Note three: That hearing yesterday really was some of the funniest shit we’ve ever seen. House Oversight Chairman James Comer spent the whole day looking like he was getting a wedgie from like 17 people at once. What a fucking dunce lol. More: Axios

Note four: The best part about yesterday’s hearing other than Jasmine Crockett? The whole time it was happening Republicans were texting reporters about what an absolute fucking disaster it is. This really isn’t funny. It’s infuriating. But goddamn we can’t stop laughing. More: HuffPost

Note five: Seriously how can you not laugh at this? The whole thing was just our people dunking on a bunch of hapless dipshits. Fucking Turley is now the polygamy guy LOL!!!!

Note six: Trump has decided not to try and move his Georgia case to federal court. He must like the judge he already has. Can we just lock this motherfucker up already? More: NBC

Note seven: Bob Menendez addressed his Democratic Senate colleagues yesterday. Guess who defended him? Yep, Joe fucking Manchin. More: ABC

Note eight: House Republicans are trying to use this shutdown fight to ban the abortion pill. Why is the press still treating these Taliban taint licks like they’re normal goddamn politicians? More: KFF Health

Note nine: Remember the Georgia Republican who tried to go after Fani Willis? Well that fucker was too crazy even for other Georgia Republicans. More: Fox5 Atlanta

Note 10: We’re gonna talk more about it in the news section, but y’all really need to see this speech.

Note 11: Gavin Newsom’s name is about to be in the news a whole bunch. But today we just want to say we think it’s awesome he signed legislation that raised minimum wage for California fast food workers to $20 an hour. That’s the highest in the US and well deserved. More: AP

Note 12: Y’all wanna hear something crazy? Trump is going on trial Monday in New York. We had no idea. This sonofabitch is in so much trouble you can’t even keep up with which courtroom his sorry orange ass is in. More: Reuters

Note 13: Elon Musk got rid of twitter’s election integrity team. So get ready for 2016 again. More: Guardian 

Note 14: Republican asshat running for the Senate in Pennsylvania got caught scrubbing his anti-abortion bullshit off his website. Does he think we’ll just forget? More: Business Insider

Note 15: It’s been true since we were kids in the 1980s and it’s true now — always listen to Mr. T.

Note 16: If you’ve made plans to visit a national park soon, you might want to make a Plan B. It seems the parks are under attack by a bunch of Republican assholes. More: HuffPost

Note 17: LOLOL. Republican donors are trying to make Glen Youngkin their new DeSantis. Yes please. We can’t wait to hear about his pudding fingers too. More: Washington Post (Paywall)

Note 18: Kari Lake is announcing her Senate run on Oct. 10. We assume she’ll announce it from her new home at Mar-a-Lago or somewhere on Mars. You wanna get nuts? Let’s get nuts. More: AP News

Note 19: Y’all know we like to end on a happy note so today we’re sharing an awesome profile in Elle magazine of Biden campaign manager Julie Chavez Rodriguez. More: Elle

Note 20: And on that inspiring note, let’s go do some news! We hope y’all had a good week. When we see you again the government will be shut down and there will be less than 400 days until the presidential election. So definitely try to enjoy the weekend. Love y’all!

Go Joe!

Yesterday Joe Biden went to Arizona to praise his friend John McCain and defend American democracy. This was our favorite kind of Dark Brandon, fired up and calling out the Republican Party for hating and trying to destroy our country. He even brought up Trump’s threats against Gen. Milley and called out Republicans who stayed quiet. Of course the national news media yawns when the president did this so they instead spent the day covering their Republican friends as they shat the bed.

More: CNN

Yikes

So it ain’t exactly breaking news to say that Republicans are a fucking disaster but holy shit this is insane. We’re barreling toward a government shutdown that will hurt the American people and the American economy and nobody really seems to know why other than the GOP is owned by a dimwitted gameshow host who likes to blow shit up. And so yeah, we’re now just a couple days from shutdown city and the dinguses causing it don’t seem to have any idea what they want to do. We’d say this is embarrassing for America but honestly when was the last time we weren’t embarrassed by these jackasses?

More: CNN

RIP

Sen. Dianne Feinstein is dead at the age of 90. It’s probably best if everyone spend some time today thinking about her amazing legacy, especially when it comes to being an LGBTQ+ ally and her war against the US’s use of torture. She did a whole lot of good and let’s focus on that for a few minutes before we start freaking out about what this means for the Senate Judiciary Committee. California Gov. Gavin Newsom has pledged to appoint a Black woman as a placeholder in the seat. Rest easy, senator.

More: CNN

Today’s clips

The Supreme Court agreed Friday to decide whether state laws that seek to regulate Facebook, TikTok, X and other social media platforms violate the Constitution. More: HuffPost

Higher gas prices heated up overall inflation last month, but the Federal Reserve got some welcome news: Its preferred inflation gauge cooled to its lowest level in two years. More: CNN