8.17.23 The GOP tries to get a judge killed

Be advised: This is a cussing newsletter that cusses about politics. It does other shit too, but we figured we should give you a heads up.

Note: Sexy Patriots! We’re doing it! We’re making it through the week! And we’re looking good as hell doing it! How the hell are y’all? Oh really? Well just use a little club soda. It comes right out. How are we? Well, we never thought we’d say this, but let’s let Stephen Miller tell you how we are…

It’s so fucking weird to see a deranged nazi get something right. But credit where it’s due. We are giddy. We are gleeful. And we are sure fucking excited to see asshead’s orange god get the accountability that’s been coming for him for a long goddamn time. You know what? Fuck that nazi. He’s still wrong. Because we are fucking light years beyond giddy, gleeful and excited. We blew past delighted to overjoyed and even left orgasmic in the dirt. What we are you need a new word for. We are super-duper-up-and-down-fissful. It sounds dirty but it just means we’re in a never ending state of fucking bliss watching the orange enemy get an appetizer taste of what happens when you fuck with the American people. The good ones. Not the goat horn seditious conspiracy shitheads. So yeah we are fissful times ten. And fissful sucks. But some of those combinations sounded so much dirtier. Y’all have a blessed and fissful day.

Note two: Y’all see MSNBC had videos of Roger Stone talking about committing crimes. We’re so glad his dumbass does all of this shit on tape. More: MSNBC

Note three: In case you want to know how the beltway media is doing today, the Washington Post has a story about how awkward Americans identify with DeSantis and Politico has a story about how Democrats are scared of Nikki Haley. Yeah, we won’t be linking to any of that dumb shit.

Note four: Kyle Rittenhouse is becoming a political player in Texas. So that’s how things are going in Texas. More: Texas Tribune

Note five: Isn’t it cool how Democratic governors make people’s lives better and aren’t racist pudding-fingered dipshits?

Note six: Speaking of racist pudding-fingered dipshits, Ron DeSantis isn’t sure if he would love his kids if they were gay or trans. What a great fucking guy. More: Business Insider

Note seven: It doesn’t happen very often, but thanks to Donald Trump for making us laugh this morning by publicly complaining about Fox using a “big ‘orange’” picture of him. LOL. Dude that’s just how you look!

Note eight: So did you see those fuckers who raided a newspaper and essentially killed a 98-year-old woman in the process got their search warrant yanked yesterday? So they’re going with Oops?! When do they get arrested for breaking and entering? More: AP

Note nine: ABC is reporting Trump’s Monday press conference might not happen because it would likely only get his dumb fucking ass in more trouble. We say go for it! But please find some hilariously named landscaping company to do it in front of. More: ABC

Note 10: Let’s all just take a deep breath.

Note 11: Well here’s some good and surprising news. Georgia Republicans are so far rejecting calls to change the pardon rules for Trump. How long until they change their mind? More: AJC

Note 12: Oh and Fulton County DA Fani Willis is asking for the trial to start on March 4. LOL. These trial dates must be freaking Ol’ Orangey the fuck out. More: AJC

Note 13: Recreational marijuana use is joining abortion rights on the ballot in Ohio this fall. Seriously is Ohio ok? How can they be so smart and cool about this stuff and so fucked up about Jupiter Diddlenutter (JD) Vance? More: CNN

Note 14: Best of luck to Stuart Delery, the first openly gay White House counsel. Delery is leaving the White House next month. More: AP

Note 15: Rudy Giuliani begging Trump to pay his legal bills might be the funniest shit happening in politics today. Imagine doing the Four Seasons Face Poop pressers and not even getting paid for it.

Note 16: Yikes. More advertisers fleeing twitter. Weird how these companies don’t want to advertise with white supremacists. More: Daily Beast

Note 17: You gotta hand it to Cornell — they took that Andy Bernard shit seriously. Love to see this! More: Bloomberg

Note 18: Goddamnit, North Carolina. The scummy Republicans there yesterday overrode the governor’s veto on three bills attacking trans youth. What a disgrace. More: CNN

Note 19: Wanna see something SUPER creepy? Read this story about how DeSantis’s New College is trying to remake the gender make-up of its student body. Has anyone checked these assholes’ freezers for human heads? More: Reason

Note 20: And on that unnerving note, let’s go do some news! We hope y’all are having an awesome week! It’s been so great to be back with you. Have a giddy, gleeful and exciting day! Love y’all!

Fuck these assholes

Republican judges aren’t done fucking with American women. Yesterday a 5th Circuit panel left restrictions in place for the abortion pill, teeing up the Supreme Court to find another way to control women’s healthcare. DOJ is planning to appeal this grotesque ruling, and for now the medication remains largely available. But it’s pretty damn easy to see where these soulless fuckers are going.

More: MSNBC

Dean the Dick

Minnesota Democrat Dean Phillips sure seems to be enjoying the attention he’s getting for attacking Joe Biden and threatening to run against him. Fuck Dean Phillips. Today he’s in the Washington Post talking about how Biden can’t beat Trump. Someone wanna tell this dude who beat Trump last time? It’s honestly sad to see some attention-hungry jackass ruin his career and reputation by trying to force his party into disarray while attacking the greatest jobs president of all time, but some people apparently just aren’t that smart.

THE STORY IS IN WAPO SO YOU CAN READ IT THERE IF YOU WANT BUT WE JUST DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO LINK TO IT

Seems like a big deal

So while WaPo is writing shit like that, Republicans are out here getting arrested for threatening the judge overseeing Trump’s coup trial. Yeah, Judge Chutkan has had this case for like 15 minutes and already some racist Trump trash has been arrested for threatening her life. And the Trump scum down in Georgia are posting jurors’ names and addresses. Maybe this should be a bigger story for the media. Or maybe they like the violence.

More: NPR, HuffPost

Today’s clips

The Arkansas Department of Education is prohibiting high school students from receiving credit toward graduation for taking AP African American Studies, according to multiple reports. More: HuffPost

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