7.21.23 A fighter goes to Florida

Be advised: This is a cussing newsletter. In about one paragraph, you’re gonna see why.

Note: Sexy Patriots! We did it! It’s Friday! Holy shit and hallelujah! It has been a damn week. Between Republicans waving around revenge porn pics and antisemites, we honestly just kinda want to throw up for like an hour. And in light of that, we thought we’d do something goofy and silly today to try and make y’all laugh. Then we saw this…

Remember when they told us we were overreacting? Well fuck them! Look at that goddamn picture! This is what we all said would happen. We said Republicans wanted to put women in jail. We fucking screamed it from the rooftops. And here we fucking are. And yesterday Politico’s chief congressional correspondent was asking senators if they think a hotdog is a sandwich. Excuse us while we throw something.

Y’all, the Beltway is just gonna never gonna get it. They still think Real America is some racist shithead in an Ohio diner taking shots of livestock medicine. Well we’re here to tell you — Real America is women who are suffering and in some cases dying because Washington scum stripped them of basic human rights. Real Americans are fucking furious. And we are damn eager to show the Republican Party and the punditry just how bad they fucked up. Y’all have a blessed day.

Become a Super Sexy Patriot supporter of This Week’s Big Stuff Podcast to listen to this week’s episode!

Note two: The funny note we were gonna do was about DeSantis threatening to sue Bud Light. We had a whole interview with Spuds MacKenzie where Spuds was talking about how he can’t wait to kick DeSantis’s ass just like Mickey Mouse did. More: CNN

Note three: We have a trial date in the Trump classified docs case. “Judge” Aileen Cannon has set the date for May 20, 2024. So yeah, right in the middle of the campaign. At least she didn’t punt it until after the election like orangey wanted. More: AP

Note four: Kevin Maxen, an assistant coach with the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars came out as gay this week. Fuck yeah. Like we keep saying — our friends and family ain’t going back. More: ESPN

Note five: We’re gonna talk more about this in the news section, but we wanted to make sure y’all saw who is going on offense…

Note six: So if you want to see Sam start crying, all you have to do is mention polls in Kentucky. That said, a new GOP poll dropped yesterday showing Democratic Gov. Andy Beshear with a 10 POINT lead over Trump/McConnell puppet Daniel Cameron. Take it with a grain of salt and keep fighting, but this is sure encouraging. NO LINK AVAILABLE

Note seven: Because Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema are poopheaded poopheads, the Biden administration has decided to pull the nomination of Julie Su and have her serve as acting Labor Secretary indefinitely. Fucking ridiculous they have to do this, but thanks to the Trump administration for setting this precedent. More: Politico

Note eight: We don’t know if y’all ever checked out Threads, but President Obama has now joined the party over there. We really like it. It desperately needs some new functions, but it’s a great start. And there’s no Elon.

Note nine: The report on Washington Commanders owner Dan Snyder is as gross and fucked up as you’d expect. Wouldn’t it be great if that piece of shit lived out the rest of his days in shame instead of on a beach somewhere? Thank goodness this nightmare is finally over for Washington fans and Commanders’ female employees. More: Yahoo Sports

Note 10: You know how these weird idiots keep saying they’re not in a cult? Well they’re in a fucking cult.

Note 11: It turns out that the QAnon Shaman is guilty no matter what Tucker Carlson says. A federal judge threw out the goat-horned dipshit’s attempt to have his sentence thrown out, and in doing so, called bullshit on both the Shithead Shaman and the Shithead Ex-Fox Guy. More: Insider

Note 12: Tony Bennett has died. He was 96. And while we’re sad to hear of his passing, what a life. He fought Nazis, marched with MLK and recorded with Lady Gaga. Rest in power, sir. More: People

Note 13: One of the Michigan fake electors just lost his gig as elections administrator. Yeah, that’s probably for the best. More: MLive

Note 14: Tommy Tuberville is the dumbest man in Washington and even other Senate Republicans don’t want anything to do with his grotesque attack on the military. But Ron DeSantis does! Does this guy have his finger on the pulse of America or what? More: NBC

Note 15: The World Cup is started!!! Some amazing games on Day One. But for us, the real action gets started when the US takes on Vietnam later today. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Note 16: Senate Democrats passed their Supreme Court ethics bill out of committee yesterday, but not before Lindsey Graham and the other dirtbags whined and cried. McConnell would never let this bill pass, but at least they tried something. More: CBS

Note 17: The RFK stuff yesterday was gross as hell. We feel like it’s been covered enough and we are so fucking sick of that guy we’re just gonna give you a link. More: HuffPost

Note 18: Oh look. Some more white nationalists convicted of wanting to start violence. Thank goodness this isn’t a racist country, right? More: HuffPost

Note 19: Did y’all find Barbie or Oppenheimer tickets? We can’t find shit. Guess we’ll have to stay inside and watch soccer all weekend.

Note 20: And on that obvious filler note, let’s go do some news. We hope we didn’t ruin your day with that opening note, but we just refuse to let this shit go unnoticed. And really, it’s the kind of thing that got this newsletter cussing in the first place. Y’all have a great weekend, and we’ll see you back here Monday. Love y’all!

Georgia on our minds!

Yeah we know we keep using that subhed but it really fits! Today The Guardian is reporting that Fani Willis is preparing racketeering charges against Trump and 12 others as part of a RICO case. Holy shit! The one worrisome thing to keep an eye on is his other desperate last-minute effort to get the case thrown out with a judge who isn’t in Fulton County. Fingers crossed, everybody. We need some more indictments! How do we think Lindsey is sleeping these days?

More: Guardian

Enjoy jail, asshole

A Trump-appointed State Department employee was found guilty on charges related to his involvement in the Jan. 6 attack. Frederico Klein was one of the scumbags who was attacking cops while participating in a coup attempt and all while drawing a taxpayer-funded salary. The judge in the case is that Trump asshat McFadden who made a big show of pulling Jack Smith’s prosecutors out of grand jury proceedings to explain to him why they made the Jan. 6 guy’s lawyer late for the verdict. Well at least he managed to stop being a shithead long enough to convict a guy who assaulted cops.

More: AP

A fighter goes to Florida

As y’all saw in TBS earlier this week, Florida school children will now be taught that slavery wasn’t all bad because it taught the slaves job skills they could use to their personal benefit. We can’t believe the shit we have to type some days. Well Vice President Harris is going to Jacksonville today to talk about “America’s full and true history.” Goddamn right. We’re excited to see our party pushing back against this racist garbage, and we’re even more excited that the Vice President is leading that fight.

More: Action News Jax

Today’s clips

Donald Trump on Thursday reposted a video on his Truth Social platform in which he is heard saying: “If you f**k around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are going to do things to you that have never been done before.” More: HuffPost