6.5.24 Garden State good guy

It’s Wednesday. There are 153 days until the general election. New Jersey needs to elect this man, the Wall Street Journal smears the president and Trump wants to put everyone in jail.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It feels like the right thing to do.

Note: Sexy Patriots!!! How are you gorgeous freedom fighters today? Well that’s good. We don’t know about y’all, but we have really been giving some thought to D-Day this year. President Biden is over in France for the anniversary tomorrow, and it’s really been giving us the “Fuck yeah, America” feels…

Goddamn we were beautiful. Ya know, we’ve done some really good things, America. Some really damn good things. We can again. We’ve just gotta do one thing — stop being fucking stupid. Seriously that’s it. If we just do that one thing, we can do whatever we can imagine. We can figure out time travel and really get hoverboards right finally if we just stop being fucking stupid. We are an awesome people. When we’re not being fucking stupid. So how about we all get our shit together and stop being fucking stupid? We saved the world once. Now let’s save ourselves. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Just a reminder for the Trump fans — you’re supposed to be rooting for the guys who landed on the beach; not the guys who were already there.

Note three: Today Senate Republicans are going to vote against a bill that would guarantee access to contraception. So yes, they are coming for birth control. More: CNN

Note four: And here’s a reminder of what life is like for women in Texas thanks to the last time Trump got in office. More: CBS

Note five: What in the world…

Note six: Did y’all see VP Harris on Kimmel last night? More: ABC

Note seven: Last night, Montanans nominated Jon Tester and Tim Sheehy to be Senate candidates. Tester is a fantastic senator and deserves to be re-elected. And last night Tester said that he has “farm equipment that’s been in Montana longer than Tim Sheehy.” Damn that’s gotta hurt. More: Politico

Note eight: Trump is still losing votes in primaries to Nikki Haley and Chris Christie. More: The Hill

Note nine: Marjorie Taylor Greene yesterday introduced an amendment to defund NATO and 46 Republicans went along with her. It never stops being shocking to us that Vladimir Putin has captured an entire American political party. More: Mediaite

Note 10: Eric Swalwell was giving ‘em hell yesterday…

Note 11: Is there anything funnier than Mick Jagger making fun of Ron DeSantis? More: HuffPost

Note 12: The Trump assholes in the House are trying to change the judicial system to protect Trump. Shouldn’t it be a scandal that that orange motherfucker is the only person they’re working for? More: Axios

Note 13: This fucking moron in Pennsylvania thinks free menstrual products is the gateway to communism. Can someone get Stephanie a fucking book? More: WKOK

Note 14: Yikes. The RNC was using a picture of Ho Chi Minh City on its convention website. It was supposed to be Milwaukee. More: HuffPost

Note 15: Shit got real at Hunter Biden’s trial yesterday…

Note 16: Even for House Republicans, Victoria Spartz seems insane. So no we’re not surprised she’s being investigated for being abusive toward her staff. More: Politico

Note 17: We started watching Clipped on FX last night. It’s about the L.A. Clippers ex-owner who was a racist piece of shit. It’s pretty damn good.

Note 18: Bernie Sanders says he will skip Netanayahu’s speech. We’re guessing he will not be alone. More: HuffPost

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we want to draw your attention to our pal Harry Dunn. Dunn lost his primary to run for the House, but he’s staying involved and launching a PAC. We’re damn grateful to him for staying in the fight. And for protecting our Capitol from scum. More: NBC

Note 20: And on that lovely note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a fantastic week. And if not, just remember that Peter Navarro is in jail right now. Love y’all!

Garden State good guy

Ok, New Jersey, let’s do this. Rep. Andy Kim might be the nicest guy in the U.S. House of Representatives. He’s also running for the Senate and is now officially the Democratic nominee. But this won’t be easy. With Bob Menendez running as an independent and Republicans nominating a non-Trumpian candidate, we’ve got our work cut out to put Andy in the upper chamber.

More: Politico

Fuck off, Rupert

The Wall Street Journal published a huge story last night about how Joe Biden has lost a step. Their source? Kevin fucking McCarthy. Yeah, we’re not even kidding. They did this whole thing and used only Republican sources. It’s shameful. But it’s even worse when you consider that yesterday Trump put out a video saying he will get WSJ reporter Evan Gershowitz out of a Russian prison but only if he wins. Joe Biden is going to be running against the most corrupt news media in American history. Yikes.

More: Mediaite

Scary shit

Trump is talking about putting his political opponents in jail. Again. In an interview yesterday, Trump said it’s “very possible” people who prosecuted him and ran against him will have to go to jail. And the rest of the GOP is pretty openly calling for this type of crazy shit. Even the New York Times can’t ignore it anymore. And they really tried.

More: HuffPost

Today’s clips

President Joe Biden on Tuesday unveiled plans to enact immediate significant restrictions on migrants seeking asylum at the U.S.-Mexico border as the White House tries to neutralize immigration as a political liability ahead of the November elections. More: AP

Judge Aileen Cannon is planning on holding a sprawling hearing on Donald Trump’s request to declare Jack Smith’s appointment as special counsel invalid, signaling the judge could be more willing than any other trial judge to veto the special prosecutor’s authority. More: CNN