6.3.24 Happy Pride Month!

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It’s how we tell people who don’t like Pride Month to eat shit.

Note: Sexy Patriots! You’re looking sexier and more patriotic than ever. Watching an ex-president piece of human garbage finally face some accountability really agrees with you. It does us too. Our skin looks amazing and we’re processing food better. We are of course going to talk more about the convicted felon who looks like a melon today but first, we need to celebrate something else wonderful…

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, EVERYONE!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!

This is one of our favorite months. Because we love Pride, we love our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters, we love equality, we love to party and we really love all the colors. It’s so beautiful! We also love telling bigots to fuck off and rot so this month really has everything for us. But we’re also mindful that these last few years have seen some real setbacks for the community and we will spend part of this month on edge that some fucking scumbag will do something evil. So everyone please be careful while celebrating. Be vigilant while you’re being awesome and free and your true self. We love you very much, and we’re proud of you. Except the bigots. They can kiss our asses and fuck off. Y’all have a blessed day and a lovely Pride Month.

Note two: Did this motherfucker just say he never said “Lock her up?” Seriously?!

Note three: Trump says the public wouldn’t stand for him going to jail or getting house arrest. We, the public, say lock his orange ass up. More: Politico

Note four: Remember Dean Phillips? Of course you don’t. He’s the nobody who ran against Biden and got trounced. Well now he’s back with an even shittier idea. He wants New York Gov. Kathy Hochul to pardon Trump. Go away, Dean. Maye politics isn’t for you, bro. More: HuffPost

Note five: You’re not gonna believe this but that Dinesh D’Souza bullshit 2,000 Mules was total bullshit. More: AP

Note six: Lara Trump wouldn’t say if the RNC will support Larry Hogan after Hogan said people should respect the verdict. The thing to remember here is that they both suck. More: NBC

Note seven: Lauren Boebert had a bad weekend. Let’s hope the voters in her district are tired of the embarrassment…

Note eight: Rudy Giuliani is about to be disbarred in D.C. And y’all can guess how goddamn hilarious that is to us. Sam’s gonna need dry pants. More: Washington Post

Note nine: Mexico just elected its first woman president. Congratulations!!! More: NBC

Note 10: Team Trump has been trying to doxx the jury. What totally normal and sane people. More: NBC

Note 11: Holy shit this made us remember the Trump boats those morons sank. Remember that?!

Note 11: We want to wish the happiest of birthdays to First Lady DOCTOR Jill Biden! More: CBS

Note 12: Witnesses in Trump cases are getting paid off. Even for Trump, this seems pretty fucking corrupt. More: ProPublica

Note 13: George Conway is going after CNN for employing lying sacks of shit. Good on George. More: RawStory

Note 14: It was great to see the Kansas City Chiefs at the White House Friday. Well most of them. More: HuffPost

Note 15: Jellybean Diddlesdoors (JD) Vance ain’t looking so good…

Note 16: We don’t know what the hell is happening at the Washington Post, but it sure don’t look good. More: HuffPost

Note 17: Adele is the fucking best. More: HuffPost

Note 18: We’re sending love to Sheila Jackson Lee as she battles cancer. More: HuffPost

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending note, Simone Biles, y’all. Freaking Simone Biles. More: NBC

Note 20: And on that unstoppable note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope your Pride Month and your Monday are off to awesome starts. Do something to save democracy today. Love y’all!

Rigged?

Jury selection is getting underway in Hunter Biden’s gun trial this morning. President Joe Biden put out a beautiful statement of support for his son that damn near had us crying in our coffee. What the president didn’t do is attack the judicial system and threaten witnesses and jury members. Even though Hunter is having to deal with Trump-appointed judges and we all know how corrupt those motherfuckers are. If Hunter is guilty, he should be held accountable. We just always want the man to be getting the help he needs after a lifetime of tragedy.

More: Politico

Yeah, that’s corrupt

MAGA Mike Johnson said last week that he knows some Supreme Court justices personally and he knows they’re concerned about the Trump guilty verdict and they should do something. And yeah that is super fucking corrupt and exactly what we thought about this court. And then Trump got in on the action, taking to Truth Social to ask his broken SCOTUS to save him from being sentenced. It’s a state conviction and SCOTUS has no business intervening, but we’ll see.

More: HuffPost

Not helpful

This weekend, we started seeing the first post-conviction polls and they are not good for Trump. It turns out that the only people who want a convicted felon for president are reporters and Republicans. According to ABC/Ipsos, half of Americans (49 percent) and more than half of Independents (52 percent) say Trump should end his campaign. Oh and that includes 16 percent of Republicans. And CBS found that 57 percent believe the jury reached the right conclusion, and 51 percent say Trump is now unfit to be president. Should those numbers be higher? Of course. But it’s a damn good start.

More: Blast

Today’s clips

Former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) called for the prosecution and conviction of Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) on Sunday. More: HuffPost

President Joe Biden is set to sign a long-anticipated executive order as soon as Tuesday that would allow him to “shut down” the southern border should crossings surge, according to four people familiar with the administration’s plans. While those people cautioned that plans are fluid, the expectation is that Biden will issue the order before heading to France in the middle of the week for a ceremony celebrating the 80th anniversary of D-Day. More: Politico