6.23.23 Moms for Hitlery

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. A year after Roe fell, it’s using a shit-ton of it.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! What a week it has been. Just wall-to-wall dumbfuckery. To be honest it was the kind of week where doubt creeps in and you see so much stupid shit happening that you begin to wonder why the hell we even bother. And then you remember that a year ago Saturday, six corrupt and fanatical political operative assholes stripped away basic human rights from millions of Americans in an effort to control women and force their bullshit beliefs on the whole goddamn country.

Tomorrow will be one year since Roe fell and unlike the mainstream media, we have neither forgiven those assholes nor forgotten what they did. And we don’t plan on doing either. What the folks in DC don’t get is that this is an outrage that doesn’t dim. It won’t go away, and it won’t be overshadowed, no matter how much Kevin McBullshit they try to cram down our throats.

We’re fucking angry, and we’re gonna be that way until women in this country have those basic rights back. And since we’re not the type to put on goat horns, paint our chest and go smear our shit on the walls of the Capitol, we’re gonna make the Republican Party feel our anger at the ballot box every fucking chance we get.

But for tomorrow, please remember that you are not alone in that anger or outrage or sadness. There are millions and millions of us, and we’re all pissed off. So once again — Fuck Sam Alito, fuck John Roberts, fuck Clarence Thomas, fuck Neil Gorsuch, fuck Amy Coney Barrett and fuck Brett Kavanaugh. May they all eat diseased pig shit while kissing our asses. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Yep, Republicans fucked up. Big time…

Note three: This morning the GOP has gathered at the Faith and Freedom Conference. It’s a place they go to cry about wokeness and cheat on their spouses. These things are usually big time syphilis super spreaders. Anyway Mike Pence is there and he’s calling for a minimum 15-week national abortion ban. Run on that, you fuckers. We dare you. More: AP

Note four: You wouldn’t know it from the news coverage, but VP Kamala Harris has been leading on the abortion issue like the badass warrior we need and want her to be. (Note within a note: As long as the dude bros and Trump bootlicks of the national political press corps pretend this issue is fading, they will continue to get their election predictions wrong? Anyone remember the Red Tsunami? Yeah, we don’t either.) More: Independent

Note five: We don’t usually do happy birthdays. We leave that to the corrupt and soulless monsters at Politico. But this is a special occasion. Happy birthday to the one and only Ally Sammarco, who discovered to her horror this morning that she shares her special day with Hall of Fame Asshead Clarence Thomas. Happy birthday, Ally! Don’t share any cake with Clarence!

Note six: Gosh, the Bannon-loving anti-vaxxer with a famous last name ain’t doing so hot…

Note seven: Well this is fucked up. People criticizing Tesla are getting their twitter accounts deactivated and then Elon calls their boss. Actually this isn’t surprising at all. The only surprising part is that the spoiled rotten shitweasel doesn’t have his mommy call and do it for him. More: Yahoo Finance

Note eight: If you had a rough week, just remember it could be worse. You could be John Eastman. More: NPR

Note nine: Stephen Richer, a Republican and the Maricopa County recorder in Arizona, is suing Kari Lake for defamation. Can he sue for excessive filter use too? She always looks like she’s lying to us in a dream. More: AZ Family

Note 10: It seems really bad to us that so much of America is for sale. The good news here is the Washington Wizards are destroying themselves so Qatar ain’t getting much.

Note 11: We watched the NBA draft last night. Wembyama is gonna be a dang star. They asked him what he’s looking forward to most about living in San Antonio and playing for the Spurs and he said “breakfast tacos.” Like we said — gonna be a star. More: USA Today

Note 12: We don’t have anything else to say about the submarine stuff. It wasn’t a conspiracy. It was just rich guy arrogance. That’s usually the case. Conspiracies are complicated and hard to pull off. Rich guy arrogance is everywhere. More: Guardian

Note 13: We’re also kinda stumped on PM Modi’s state visit. On the one hand, what the fuck is Dark Brandon thinking when democracies are dying?! On the other hand, we get it. More: CNN

Note 14: Y’all know we hate to link to Politico. Mostly because we’ve heard they embezzle money and candy from children’s hospitals. But this is an important one about how No Labels, the group determined to spoil the election and hand it to Trump on a silver platter, won’t reveal where their funding is coming from. No shit. More: Politico

Note 15: Some actors are just playing a part. Some really are Wonder Woman…

Note 16: Speaking of movies, if you’re a Wes Anderson fan, you are going to freaking love Asteroid City. Sam caught an early viewing last weekend and it is freaking gorgeous.

Note 17: So FUCK THE NHL. After a handful of bigots on ice said they didn’t want to wear Pride jerseys in warm-ups, the NHL decided yesterday to just get rid of all specialty jerseys. As many on twitter pointed out, this cowardice will cost charities as a fortune as specialty gear is usually auctioned off. Shameful to see such hate and chickenshittery in this day and age. More: CBC

Note 18: House Republicans are going to try and expunge Trump’s impeachments. Nice try, assholes. You think we’re gonna forget what he did? What do we look like? Reporters? More: MSNBC

Note 19: We’re ending on a good one! The John Lewis forever stamp was revealed this week, and it really couldn’t come at a better time. Y’all ready to cause some good trouble? More: NBC

Note 20: And on that awesome note, let’s go do some news! We know this weekend is a shitty anniversary. The good news is we live in a country where we can still do something about it. For now. So let’s put our anger to work and make those dirty sonsofbitches regret they ever fucked with American women. Love y’all!

Moms for Hitlery

Moms for Liberty, the hateful book-banning trash who want to make like hell for gay kids, is sorry for quoting Hitler in one of their newsletters. In fact they seem quite annoyed that we didn’t all assume they know Hitler is bad. Well, quit fucking banning books and maybe people wouldn’t think that. Yesterday the Indiana chapter that quoted Hitler apologized and the national organization is just tweeting through it before hosting RFK Jr. and other politicians at an event in Philly. Here are two links. One is about the Hitler apology and the other is about their scummy Philly event.

More: AP, Inquirer

YIKESUS

SCOTUS dropped some more rulings this morning. And they were good news. So yeah we’re really fucking nervous about what those creeps are gonna do next week. Today, with only Alito’s corrupt ass dissenting, the court ruled that Texas and Arkansas don’t actually get to decide federal immigration policy. In other words, they don’t standing to set the policies because they ain’t president. We’ve had a string of not horrible SCOTUS rulings (yesterday’s ruling that says innocent people can stay in jail notwithstanding) and that makes us really nervous. So prepare yourself for next week when they wreck affirmative action and quite possibly our democracy. But for now just continue cussing them to hell and back over Dobbs.

More: NBC

Dark Brandon rises

With the one year anniversary of Dobbs upon us, Joe Biden is reminding the American people which side he’s on. Hint: It’s the good one. Today Biden is receiving the endorsements of NARAL, EMILY’s list and Planned Parenthood. He will be the only candidate in the presidential race with these endorsements, and we believe that will really matter on a potentially crowded ballot next year. Stay angry. Stay organized.

More: AP

Today’s clips

President Joe Biden’s administration announced a new executive order intended to expand access to contraception on Friday, one day before the one-year anniversary of the Supreme Court decision that eliminated the national right to abortion. More: HuffPost

Republican National Committee Chair Ronna McDaniel declared that the party loyalty pledge is here to stay after some 2024 GOP presidential candidates have called it into question. More: HuffPost