6.2.23 Joey Jobs does it again

Be advised: This newsletter uses bad words. And the jokes aren’t much better.

Note: Sexy Patriots! We made it to the weekend! And nothing really dumbass fucking stupid happened along the way. Gotcha! Obviously we’re just kidding and lots of really dumbass fucking stupid shit happened this week. But maybe nothing was as dumbass fucking stupid as this…

Sigh. Ok if we’ve gotta talk about this shit then we’re going to do it in a really dumb way. Ladies and germs, today’s fake interview is with the sandbag.

TBS: Welcome to TBS, sandbag!

Sandbag: Are you some of those Demonrats I hear about on OAN?

TBS: Oh boy.

Sandbag: I knew it! You’re blood-sucking groomers who were sent here by Hillary and Brandon to kill me.

TBS: So sandbags can be crazy as hell?

Sandbag: And now you’re trying to cancel me. Well y’all can kiss my ass because these colors don’t run.

TBS: The colors of a sandbag?

Sandbag: Oh that’s real clever. Keep it up and you’ll get what I gave Brandon.

TBS: So you did that on purpose?

Sandbag: Hell yeah! Q told me to.

TBS: Even for a sandbag, you’re a fucking idiot.

Sandbag: Say that to my face!

TBS: You don’t have a face. But you will make a nice volleyball court. Don’t fuck with Dark Brandon.

Well that got heated fast. Yikes! Sorry about that, y’all. The good news is sandbags can’t really talk and most Americans aren’t as hysterical about this shit as our nation’s political press. And if you want to know if the guy can do the job, just check out today’s employment report. Love y’all!

Note two: So we knew CNN was blazing shit-filled dumpster these days, but wow it’s so much worse than we realized. The Atlantic has a deep dive into just how much of a disaster “the most trusted name in news” has become. More: Atlantic

Note three: Not long after that story published, Axios (which we do not link to) is reporting that CNN is eager to host a GOP debate. They must love coming in fourth place behind Newsmax. NO LINK

Note four: Just a giant FU to the three Senate Democrats who joined Republicans in voting to cancel Biden’s student loan forgiveness. We expect that bullshit from Sinema and Manchin, but Tester is usually better than that. And yeah we know he’s got a tough battle next year, but still. More: Forbes

Note five: Um why the fuck can’t this moron pronounce his own name right?

Note six: Republicans in Georgia are trying to put a right-wing extremist who hates when people vote on the Fulton County elections board. It’s astonishing what those assholes have done after the media declared them good guys for not letting Trump steal an election. More: AJC

Note seven: Is anyone else feeling a little lost now that Succession, Barry and Ted Lasso all ended in the same week? We should probably go outside more.

Note eight: So we hate when we have to admit that we have undercovered a story, but we owe Minnesota Democrats an apology. They really make some remarkable progress and some HUGE changes this legislative session and we should’ve been all over it telling you about the many, many good things they’ve gotten done. More: Common Dreams

Note nine: That is also true about Michigan, where this week Gov. Gretchen Whitmer took a well-deserved victory lap over what she and the state’s Democrats have been able to achieve. More: Lansing City Pulse

Note 10: And in Wisconsin, another governor shows us how it’s done…

Note 11: Trump went on Fox last night and said a bunch of bullshit. The one true thing he said — and we are so fucking glad he keeps saying it — is that he “got rid of Roe v. Wade.” Yeah, we know, shitstain. And it’s one of many reasons why you’re never gonna be president again. More: Fox

Note 12: Ewwww gross. We just linked to Fox. Guess it’s time for a fire shower.

Note 13: Something we all need to focus on this summer is a special Aug. 8 election in Ohio that Republicans are putting on to try and stop the state’s voters from passing abortion rights protections. We can’t let this happen. More: Bolts Mag

Note 14: LOLOL. The Bible has been removed from some schools in Utah because of its violent and sexual content. We say again — LOLOL! More: Fox13

Note 15: We really love our Democratic governors and we need to make sure they get re-elected. Especially this one…

Note 16: Seriously why the fuck doesn’t Ron DeSantis know how to pronounce his own name?!

Note 17: Is it bad that a former FBI supervisory agent has been indicted on felony charges because of the shit he pulled on Jan. 6? Seems pretty bad to us. More: OPB

Note 18: Trump said last night he doesn’t know anything about the tape of him talking about the classified shit he took and shouldn’t have. This might sound harsh, but we don’t believe him. More: HuffPost

Note 19: We’re in a weird place right now where we hate twitter but we love being able to share cool stuff like this with y’all…

Note 20: And on that delightful note, let’s go do some news and then do this weekend! We hope y’all had an awesome week and a wonderful start to Pride Month. Have fun and be safe out there and please watch out for any sandbags who probably were part of the attack on the Capitol. Love y’all!

Anti-trans twitter

So it’s not news that Elon Musk is a bigoted right-wing extremist. What is news is that some of the other bigoted right-wing extremists who joined Musk at twitter resigned yesterday because Musk’s bigoted right-wing extremism was too extreme even for their sorry asses. A bunch of anti-LGBTQ scum wanted to start Pride Month by sharing a “movie” they made that is anti-trans filth. It was too extreme even for new twitter so they labeled it and made it unshareable. The bigots lost their minds, twitter officials lost their jobs and Elon has gone full anti-trans trash since, seemingly trying to convince the most hateful people on the internet that he is really one of them. Some scary shit is going down, y’all.

More: Indy100

Yay?

With more Democratic votes than Republicans, the deal to raise the debt ceiling and not tank the economy passed the Senate last night. It’s hard to describe what a stank-ass piece of shit this thing is and the only good thing you can say about it is that it means millions won’t lose their jobs or retirement accounts. And while the White House can celebrate another Biden campaign promise kept — compromise — we are damn worried about the provisions that are really pissing off our people. That said, we’re happy this nightmare is behind us for now.

More: HuffPost

WOW!!!

Holy shit, y’all. Joey Jobs has done it again. This morning we got the jobs numbers for May and we’ll say it again — Holy shit, y’all. The economy added 339,000 jobs last month(!) and there were massive upward revisions to the two months prior. Put simply, Joey Jobs is fucking crushing it and that recession talk can eat shit. That said, there is something we should alll be paying attention to — the Black unemployment rate, which had been at a record low, went from 4.7 percent to 5.6 percent. That ain’t good, so let’s hope the Fed stops fucking with people’s jobs. In the meantime, enjoy the good news…

Today’s clips

You’d have to go back a generation — to 1988 — to find the last time a Republican candidate won a U.S. Senate race in heavily Democratic California. This time, the party might get an MVP on the ballot. More: HuffPost

Protests took place across six Florida cities while some businesses across the state shut their doors Thursday in opposition to a tough, new immigration law pushed by Gov. Ron DeSantis, who is campaigning this week in Iowa and New Hampshire. More: Tallahassee.com

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