6.17.24 Hollywood Joe

Be advised: This newsletter cusses like it found out on Father’s Day that Trump was on Epstein’s jet.

Note: Sexy Patriots! We hope y’all had a lovely weekend. We sure did. But now it’s back to the grind. Fortunately for us, we love grinding with you. Uh, you know what we mean. We absolutely love doing this newsletter for you almost as much as we would love to not have to do it because the world isn’t being overrun by malicious dumbshits. Oh well. We think it’s a good if foul-mouthed and odd-minded newsletter. It sure tries hard. And we try to be consistent except for the occasional day/week off to not lose our minds. And part of that consistency is making sure we count down the days to the election semi-accurately every day.

And since we do it every day, it tends to become routine. But every once in a while, we spit out coffee, let out a little pee and have our eyes bug out cartoon style and say WHAT THE FUCK?! 141 FUCKING DAYS?!!! ARE YOU FUCKIING SERIOUS?!!! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT! And today happened to be one of those days for us. Don’t worry. We breathed into a paper bag and now we’re good. But yeah, 141 days. Yikes. Hell, the first debate is next week. Hard to fucking believe.

So what are we gonna do for the next 141 days to save this country’s hot ass? Are we focused? Are we motivated? Are we a wee bit scared shitless but still looking fine as hell? You betcha. So let’s do this, SPs. Let’s give it everything we’ve got. Because the end is getting close. The end of what is up to us. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Here’s what that Be Advised was all out. Ouch. Happy Father’s Day, Junior.

Note three: You know who we should all listen to? The German chancellor. More: Politico

Note four: Did y’all see Hillary make a surprise appearance at the Tony Awards last night? More: Yahoo

Note five: Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff is going to speak at the groundbreaking for a memorial for the Pittsburgh Tree of Life shooting victims. More: AP

Note six: We’re saving this for the news section, but we wanted to make sure you saw it.

Note seven: Trump had a Blacks for Trump event in Detroit, and only white people showed up. More: New Republic

Note eight: Yikes. Trust us and DO NOT look at this new poll out of Iowa. More: Des Moines Register

Note nine: Politico published a story over the weekend asking what happened to “rising star” Glen Youngkin. We can answer that. He’s an unlikable dickhead who was only a rising star to gullible beltway reporters. NO LINK

Note 10: The Washington Post is a serious fucking dumpster fire right now. And that is not good for democracy. More: CNN

Note 11: Things aren’t going great for RFK Jr. In fact, he’s not getting out-polled by the brain worm.

Note 12: We were gonna show you Trump’s deranged fucked up Father’s Day message and then we figured y’all have already seen that dumb crazy shit before.

Note 13: This is HUGE. For the first time, Florida Democrats are running candidates in every single legislative district. It will take a long time to turn things around down there, but this is how it starts. More: Florida Dems

Note 14: If you’ve already seen Inside Out 2, please don’t tell us what happens. We can’t freaking wait to see it. More: HuffPost

Note 15: Dick Durbin says the math isn’t mathing so he can’t do anything about our corrupt Supreme Court justices. We say bullshit. More: HuffPost

Note 16: How freaking awesome is Jack Black?

Note 17: We have long known what a stud Kylian Mbappe is. But damn it’s good to see him using his celebrity to push back against right-wingers. More: BBC

Note 18: Serious heatwave coming. Y’all be safe out there. Drink lots of water and right-winger tears.

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to Maryland Gov. Wes Moore who just announced he’s going to pardon 175,000 low-level marijuana offenses. This is how it’s done, people. This is how you change lives. Thank you, Gov. Moore! More: HuffPost

Note 20: And on that redemptive note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had an awesome weekend, and we just know this is gonna be a great week. But remember, we’re running out of time to save this fucked up country, so please give it all you’ve got. Love y’all!

Hollywood Joe

You’ve seen the photos. This weekend in L.A., Presidents Biden and Obama, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Jack Black, Sam Youngman, Barbara Streisand and Jimmy Kimmel teamed up to raise a record-setting $30 million in one night. Hey, Sam! What the fuck are you doing in there! Ok so he was there, and it was pretty inspiring. It was also a good reminder that this campaign is in full swing and we damn well better be acting like it.

More: LA Mag

Let’s go!

Anybody want to watch a debate? Well you’re in luck. We are less than two weeks away from the first debate between Biden and Trump and over the weekend we got some details. We already know it will be on CNN. But now we know the candidates won’t be allowed to use notes, they’ll be standing at podiums and the one who isn’t talking will have their mic muted. We’ve never seen a debate like this so early in the cycle so who knows what to expect?

More: CNN

Go Blue!

That isn’t about Kentucky or Michigan athletics or a reference to the movie Old School. No, this is about a super badass hard-hitting ad the Biden-Harris campaign dropped this morning as part of a $50 million ad campaign. We’re just gonna show it to you instead of talking about it…

Today’s clips

The arm of the national Democratic Party focused on state legislative races will spend more than $10 million to boost down-ballot candidates as part of a broader effort that’s also designed to help President Joe Biden in key battleground states. More: NBC

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has dissolved the six-member war Cabinet, an Israeli official said on Monday, in a widely expected move that came after the departure from government of the centrist former general Benny Gantz. More: NBC