6.12.24 Yay, Ohio?

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It’s kinda our thing.

Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, by now you’ve heard that Hunter Biden is guilty. And Joe Biden is guilty too — of being a good and loving dad and not some heartless fucking asshole. Yeah, it really is one of our favorite things about Dark Brandon. He’s a good father and not a total piece of shit who raised Don Junior. Just look at this…

Goddamnit it’s getting dusty in here. Look away, SPs, while we compose ourselves. And while you do, try to imagine Trump doing this. Or showing his kids any affection at all. Actually, don’t try to imagine him showing affection to Ivanka. We’re all traumatized enough already over that fucked up shit. But can you picture Orange Dingus hugging Orange Dingus Junior? Of course not! You can’t picture anyone hugging Orange Dingus Junior except maybe a frightened therapist. If Junior had ever gotten arrested, Trump would have Epsteined him that same day and then told America he never had a son named Don Junior.

Anyway, this is our Father’s Day note. And it’s a good reminder that there are a lot of good dads out there and Joe Biden is one of them. There are also a lot of shitty asshole dads and Donald Trump is one of those. We’re supporting the guy who loves and supports his family and has a heart. Crazy, right? Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Trump put out a statement wishing Hunter well. Then he took it back. What an asshole. More: Daily Beast

Note three: Want to read a story about the most pathetic human being on the planet? Then read this story about Mitch McConnell going to kiss Trump’s ass tomorrow. More: HuffPost

Note four: RIP Jerry West. The NBA logo died this morning. More: LA Mag

Note five: We haven’t talked enough about how Minnesota’s Royce White might be the worst goddamn candidate we’ve ever seen…

Note six: Paul Ryan says he won’t vote for Trump. Wouldn’t it have been nice if he’d had the guts to do this in 2016 when people still knew who he was? More: CNN

Note seven: Donald Trump is still a convicted felon.

Note eight: Isn’t it great to have a president who wants to end gun violence instead of encouraging more? More: HuffPost

Note nine: Sandy Hook survivors are graduating high school. We don’t know what to say about this. More: CNN

Note 10: This where we put the eyes emoji…

Note 11: It’s pretty great how Ted Cruz never stops being a punchline. Now if only he’d stop being a Senator. More: HuffPost

Note 12: On the one hand, it sucks that Nancy Mace won her primary. On the other hand, it’s nice to see Kevin McCarthy humiliated again. More: AP

Note 13: Ok, Nevada, we’ve gotta beat Sam Brown. Who’s in? More: Politico

Note 14: Lindsey Graham is going to block efforts to pass a Supreme Court ethics bill. Kinda tells you everything you need to know about the Supreme Court, don’t it? More: NBC

Note 15: Goddamn we loved a fired up Dark Brandon…

Note 16: The House is going to vote to hold Merrick Garland in contempt. We don’t know why, and we’re guessing House Republicans don’t either. More: AP

Note 17: Have y’all watched Hit Man on Netflix? One of the better movies we’ve seen in a while. We’re on the Glen Powell bandwagon.

Note 18: Republicans are very angry Hunter Biden was convicted. So maybe they’re just miserable unhappy people. More: HuffPost

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we just want to ask you to hug your people. We all need more hugs, and that photo of Biden hugging Hunter has given us the feels. So try to hug at least one person today. And if you can’t find anyone, send us an email and we’ll virtually hug you. Love y’all!

Thanks, Joe

The CPI came out this morning, and once again it showed inflation cooling. So jobs and wages are up and inflation is down. Thanks, Dark Brandon! Grocery prices have been going down for four months, and Biden said in a statement this morning that inflation is down two-thirds from its peak. Let’s keep this party going!

More: CNBC

Good man

We already talked about the Biden family and the Hunter verdict. But we wanted to take an extra second to draw a contrast between a loving father and good president who told America he respects the outcome and the judicial system, and an orange piece of rat shit who attacked a judge and his daughter and the whole fucking system. Yesterday should’ve made clear who should be president and who should be in prison. Unfortunately, there are a lot of broken brains out there.

NO LINK

Yay, Ohio?

So last night there was a special House election in Ohio and the Republican won. So why are we telling you about it? Because the Republican was supposed to win by A LOT more and came up short. The final margin saw the GOP candidate winning by about 9 points. But Trump won the district by 29 points. Hmmmm. Maybe Republicans aren’t as unified or fired up as we’ve been told over and over again.

More: CNN

Today’s clips

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has said his country is an “invincible comrade-in-arms” with Russia in a message to President Vladimir Putin, state media KCNA said on Wednesday, amid speculation over Putin’s impending visit to North Korea. More: NBC