5.2.24 Finally

It’s Thursday. There are 187 days until the general election. Arizona finally does the right thing, two years since we found out Roe was going down and Trump won’t accept the election results unless he wins.

Be advised: This newsletter cusses because it wasn’t “thrilled” that Trump overturned Roe. What a fucking asshole.

Note: If you’re like us, you are heartbroken for any number of reasons to see what is happening on American college campuses right now. It can be difficult to know what to say, and we’ve sure struggled with it. But we have decided that we’re not going to actively try to make shit worse. Crazy idea, right? And yet some dumb theater-hand-workers just can’t help themselves…

Shaking our damn heads. Just unreal. Really, BoBo? Here’s an idea — maybe just stop making shit worse than it already is? Is that so much to ask? If a situation is already tragic and tense, then don’t run over there trying to make it even more tragic and tense. How hard is that? Like if these fuckers come upon someone stuck in quicksand, do they piss in their face while singing showtunes? If they see someone with a flat tire, do they kick them in the nuts and then set the car on fire? If a pregnant woman’s life is at stake do they… actually nevermind.

It reminds us of that parable of the man who got stuck in the hole. A man fell in a hole and couldn’t get out. A preacher came along and the man asked for help. “I’ll pray for you,” the preacher says. A man then asks a passing doctor for help. The doc writes a prescription and throws it down the hole. Then a Republican comes along, smears dog shit all over his own face and starts humping a fucking tree. Dude is still down in that hole, and now he’s traumatized for life. Ok fine so maybe that’s now how that goes, but you get our point. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Trump had another gag order hearing this morning. He even managed to stay awake for it. More: NBC

Note three: RFK Jr. might be the dumbest person alive. Even dumber than Trump. Yeah, we didn’t know it was possible either. More: HuffPost

Note four: We’re going to talk more about abortion rights in the news section, but we want to highlight the important work on the issue Vice President Harris doing. Yesterday she flew down to Florida to blast Trump just hours after the state’s six-week abortion ban took effect. More: CNN

Note five: JD Vance either really wants to be Trump’s running mate or the next Lindsey Graham. Good luck, asshole.

Note six: LOL. John Eastman doesn't get to keep his law license while he’s being disbarred. Makes sense to us. More: Politico

Note seven: This interview with Brittney Griner was just heartbreaking. Thank goodness Joe Biden got her home. More: AP

Note eight: Kristi Noem can’t stop talking about murdering her poor dog. Justice for Cricket! More: HuffPost

Note nine: Trump invented a new word yesterday. Pro tip — do not google “becocked.” More: LA Mag

Note 10: We know this is a stupid and historically illiterate thing to say, but the guy saying it is probably drunk and once shat out of his forehead.

Note 11: The United Methodist Church removed its ban on gay clergy. Yay! We talked to God and she said this was long overdue. More: CNN

Note 12: The Fed didn’t lower interest rates yesterday. Damnit. More: AP

Note 13: Huge congratulations to US Women’s Team legend Carli Lloyd on having her first child. More: Women’s Health Mag

Note 14: MAGA Mike Johnson is planning to make the campus protests the centerpiece of the new Republican agenda. It’s gross, it’s cynical and it will divide Democrats. More: CNN

Note 15: Does this fill you with rage? Yeah, us too.

Note 16: The star of Republicans’ impeachment bullshit has to stay in jail. Sounds like a strong witness. More: AP

Note 17: President Biden is heading to Charlotte today to pay respects to the four cops who were killed in an ambush Monday. More: WBTV

Note 18: LOL. Politico’s lead story this morning asked “Has the DeSantis comeback already begun?” No. No, it has not. NO FUCKING LINK

Note 19: Yikes. We really had to hunt for a Happy Ending today. So we’re going with the Manhattan DA’s office saying they will retry Harvey Weinstein. Good. Because that guy’s a piece of shit. More: CNN

Note 20: And on that kinda sorta happy note, let’s go do some news! We hope y’all are having an awesome week. And if you’re not, at least a bunch of college kids didn’t make fun of you for giving a hand job in a theater. Love y’all!


Yesterday two Republicans crossed the aisle to vote with Democrats in Arizona to repeal the state’s 1864 total abortion ban. It has taken forever and still might take a little longer, but Katie Hobbs is going to sign this and eventually that asinine law will be history. But we should note that 14 out of 16 Republican state senators wanted to keep the law. Guess we’ll see them in November.

More: Axios

Shitty anniversary

It has been two years since it leaked that SCOTUS was going to overturn Roe v. Wade. Since then, the nightmare we all warned about has come to fruition. Just yesterday, a six-week abortion ban went into effect in Florida. Trump is bragging about overturning the law everywhere he goes while women are suffering. There is only one way to restore women’s basic human rights and that is to fight and win a shitload of elections. We are committed to making this happen.

More: AP

Scary shit

Trump is already refusing to accept the results of the election, and we’re still months away from anyone voting. In an interview with the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Trump was asked if he would accept the results. “If everything’s honest, I’ll gladly accept the results.” He added: “If it’s not, you have to fight for the right of the country.” THIS IS SO FUCKED UP!!! He keeps telling us what he’s going to do, and we just don’t understand why more people aren’t horrified by it.

More: CNN

Today’s clips

Jeff Miller, a close ally of former Speaker Kevin McCarthy, called Gaetz an “anti-semite” and a “pedophile” as he responded on X, formerly Twitter, to a post less than an hour earlier by the Florida representative. More: Politico

There were 132 arrests made on the UCLA campus during an operation to remove a protest encampment Thursday morning, authorities said. More: CNN