5.11.23 George Santos has a bad day

Be advised: This newsletter cusses like some idiot put a sexual abuser scumbag piece of shit traitor on tv last night.

Note: Well hey there, Sexy Patriots! We didn’t see you come in. We were too busy rage-screaming into the air about that absolute horror shit show CNN subjected its viewers to last night.

To make matters worse, head of CNN Chris Licht claimed this morning that his network did a good job, that Kaitlan Collins is a “rock star” and that CNN served America well. If that dumb motherfucker really believes that, then get ready for a long year and a half and possibly the end of democracy. The whole thing was such a disgrace that we did something kinda unusual. We interviewed Journalism…

TBS: Um, hey, Journalism!

Journalism: Hey, guys! Thanks for having me. HUGE fan!

TBS: Well that seems unlikely, but moving on. So about that CNN interview…

J: What a fucking disaster. Like a dumpster fire full of shitty diapers on the hindenburg called and said that was a goddamn disaster. Did you hear those fucking ghouls laughing at sexual abuse? And where the fuck was the fact-check when that dipshit said Democrats kill babies after they’re born?!

TBS: Right?!

J: Like what the fuck are they even doing? Even Maria Bartiromo was embarrassed for them and she tried to steal a voting machine two weeks ago.

TBS: She did?

J: Yeah, she does it all the time. Anyway, fuck CNN,

TBS: Yeah, Journalism, fuck CNN.

J: Keep up the great work!

TBS: We will! Thanks!

Well there you have it. Journalism thinks CNN is a goddamn joke. And we couldn’t agree more. If you’re a CNN watcher, this is a good time to change the channel. More: HuffPost

Note two: We still can’t believe those miserable scumbags laughed at E. Jean Carroll. Fuck every last one of them. More: Mother Jones

Note three: Needless to say, we will not be linking to any CNN stories today unless there is one about Chris Licht miraculously freeing his head from Trump’s ass.

Note four: Well at least we’ve got the real journalists at the New York Times to oh for fuck’s sake…

Note five: That was from the style section, but we can promise their news story wasn’t much better.

Note six: One thing we did appreciate from last night — Trump told Republicans to vote for default. That should strengthen the White House’s hand. Or it would if the entire press corps wasn’t Kaitlin Collins. More: CNBC

Note seven: And it sucks to criticize Kaitlin Collins!!!!!! We sure as hell don’t want to be like Trump calling her a “nasty person.” We just want someone in the media who isn’t afraid of the Jan. 6 asshole and who is willing to ask him tough and honest questions. More: USA Today

Note eight: If we lived in New Hampshire, we’d sure want to know which of our neighbors thinks sexual abuse and sedition are so fucking funny.

Note nine: How bad was it? They even pissed off Steve Martin. How the hell do you piss off Steve Martin?

Note 10: We have an update on Dianne Feinstein. Sorta. She returned to the Senate yesterday. She is wheelchair-bound and according to her office still struggling with the effects of shingles. She was not at the Senate Judiciary Committee meeting this morning, but the committee was able to vote out three more nominees. More: ABC

Note 11: Some good news finally! The FDA has recommended making the birth control pill over-the-counter. About damn time! More: NPR

Note 12: So that piece of shit who killed a Black Lives Matter protester in Texas was sentenced to 25 years. Now we wait to see how hard Texas Gov. Greg Abbott works to free him. More: Texas Tribune

Note 13: Kelly Craft is running for governor of Kentucky. She also might be one of the scummiest people on the planet. More: AP

Note 14: Btw, if you’re like a beltway type and freaked out over one WaPo poll showing Biden losing to Trump, here’s one that looks far more realistic and in line with every other poll. More: Yahoo

Note 15: Let’s just take a quick second to check in on House Republicans’ attempts to smear the president’s family…

Note 16: Big news! Vice President Harris is giving the commencement at West Point! She will be the first woman to do so. More: AP

Note 17: Joe Manchin wasn’t getting enough attention yesterday so he put out a statement saying he’s going to block every single Biden EPA nominee. He’s also probably gonna vote against Julie Su for Labor. Let’s hope DiFi can vote so we can all ignore that thirsty corrupt asshole. More: Reuters

Note 18: One thing we think everyone should know is how the Biden campaign responded to the CNN Trump stank-ass white power hour…

Note 19: The World Health Organization says Monkey Pox is no longer a global health emergency. Just enjoy that news and try not to think about whatever horrible shit is coming next. More: AP

Note 20: And on that positive/scary note, let’s go do some news! We usually like to end the note section by wishing y’all well, checking in on you and making sure y’all know how much we love you. But today we’re just gonna say fuck CNN. And we love you.

By George

As we gleefully reported yesterday, Republican Congressman George Santos was arrested yesterday and charged with a shitload of crimes. True to form, he lied about everything afterward, pledged to run for re-election and started raising money off the “witch hunt.” Also true to form, House Republicans are backing him unless — until — he’s convicted. Have fun in prison, George.

More: AP

It was him

It has been reported that Trump knows his role in overturning Roe is a political weakness for him. But he just can’t help himself. So twice last night Trump talked about how honored he was to help overturn the ruling and in doing so stripping millions and millions of American women of basic human rights. We’re glad he’s so fucking proud of it, and we’re gonna be sure to remind everyone over and over again.

More: The Hill

A Republican racist from Alabama?

We’re shocked. But sure enough in his effort to fuck over the men and women of the Armed Forces, Sen. Tommy Tuberville said that one reason he’s doing it is to protect the scummy racists who sign up. When the reporter asked Tuberville if he was talking about white nationalists, he said “I call them Americans.” If you think Senate Republicans will face hard questions over this, well, this is CNN.

More: The Guardian

Today’s clips

A federal appeals court overturned all fraud convictions Wednesday of two parents who were found guilty of paying bribes to get their kids into elite universities as part of a sprawling college admissions scandal. More: HuffPost

The Supreme Court on Thursday narrowed the scope of a federal anticorruption law by ruling in favor of an ex-aide to former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo who was convicted of taking a bribe from a real estate developer. More: NBC

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