4.7.23 Joey Jobs strikes again

Be advised: This newsletter uses cuss words. And today it’s using them with righteous fucking fury.

Note: Well goddamn, Sexy Patriots. They did it. They actually fucking did it. They said the South would rise again, and in Nashville yesterday they showed us it has.

You’ve probably seen by now that the Republican Tennessee statehouse expelled Reps. Justin Pearson and Justin Jones, who are both Black men. They came up short in voting to expel Rep. Gloria Johnson, a white woman. There were far too many stunning and inspiring videos to share from yesterday but let’s start with this one…

Heroes. There are heroes everywhere. The more dangerous, cruel and just fucking dumb the Republican Party becomes, the more heroes are born.

Unfortunately, heroes come with villains. And we saw a fucking parade of scummy fucking villains yesterday in Nashville. So cold. So condescending. So casually bigoted. So goddamn evil.

It could give us all cause to despair. We could drop our heads and wonder if anything has ever really changed. We could wonder if it ever really will.

Or we could make goddamn sure it does.

We’re angry, but we’re not worried. We’ve beat this kind of stupid racist shit before, and you can bet your fine ass we’ll do it again. No, we’re not angry. We’re fired the fuck up and ready to fight for change. How about y’all?

Note two: Btw, Reps. Jones and Pearson’s big crime was speaking up for the kids outside who are begging their elected leaders to do something about gun violence. Ok we’re a little angry.

Note three: We were gonna post the statement that the Tennessee GOP put out last night, but honestly it will just piss you off so much it might just fuck up your whole day. 130,000 Tennesseans don’t have representation today because of some racist shiteaters.

Note four: If there’s good news here, it’s that both Representatives will hopefully be back at work soon and much much stronger than they were before. More: CNN

Note five: Btw, we feel like we need to say that we use CNN links a lot because there’s no paywall, but it has really become just a joke of an organization. They’re talking about today’s jobs report as if it’s a bad thing. Like Fox and Friends without the friends.

Note six: The kids are fucking pissed. They’ve got damn good reasons.

Note seven: Charlie Kirk, just an all-around psycho, says that kids being shot to death is just the price of the Second Amendment. Guess that’s easy to say if it ain’t your kid. More: Yahoo

Note eight: Yesterday the Biden administration issued a new rule on trans kids playing sports. Some advocacy organizations hailed it. The advocates we trust called it a stunning betrayal. We keep hoping this move to the center we’re watching is just in our heads. Anyone who has watched politics this week and still thinks it’s a good idea to piss off Gen Z should stop working in politics. More: CNN

Note nine: House Republicans are a fucking mess. They are already fighting with each other, unable to do basic shit and probably gonna tank the economy because they are not very smart and spend all their time trying to get on Fox. More: CNN

Note 10: We didn’t even try not to laugh at this. We did however spend way too much time trying to think of a joke about how this is the second biggest asshole in the universe behind Trump.

Note 11: We seriously can’t stop laughing at Elon stooge Matt Taibbi getting his ass whooped last night on MSNBC by Mehdi Hasan. He then took to twitter to declare that he would not take the L. Twitter went ahead and supplied one anyway. More: Daily Beast

Note 12: Ron DeSantis went to Michigan and vowed to break Disney. Can we please have this fucking guy as the nominee? Has this dumb motherfucker not seen how dipshits like him do in Michigan? More: Detroit News

Note 13: Are y’all watching the new season of the Mandalorian? It is sooooo freaking good. We thought Boba Fett was a bit of a disappointment, but this is a huge bounce back. Nobody is paying us to say this. We just like good tv.

Note 14: Angel Reese will go to the White House. We’re happy to hear that. It’s a cool opportunity, and we’d hate to see her miss it because the First Lady said something she shouldn’t have. It was a helluva win. Let’s celebrate it! More: USA Today

Note 15: We were gonna go with something newsy here, but the weekend is almost upon us and we could all use a smile. If you haven’t ever seen this movie, please do yourself a favor and remedy that this weekend.

Note 16: Scott Walker was tweeting about winning back the youth vote and all we can say is please dear god let Republicans put Scott Walker in charge of winning them back. But there’s now way we’re that lucky. More: WPR

Note 17: If you bank with Bank of America, you should know they’ve been insulting Ukraine and spreading Putin talking points. Hard to believe a bank could be so scummy. Oh wait. More: FT

Note 18: Schumer and McConnell put out a statement yesterday demanding the release of the detained Wall Street Journal reporter in Russia. Don’t you wish Moscow Mitch would’ve done this when Russia was attacking our democracy in 2016? More: WSJ

Note 19: Dark Brandon dropped his second veto yesterday. Yeah apparently Mr. Socialist Lib Who’s Destroying This Country wants us to have clean water. Can you believe the nerve of that guy? More: AP

Note 20: And on that note, let’s go do some news. It’s been a crazy roller coaster of a week. But if you remember one thing from it, remember this — we’re winning. It’s why we’re seeing such extreme and drastic and cruel dumbshitery from Republicans. Well that and because Republicans are extreme and drastic and cruel dumbshits. Y’all have a great weekend, and we’ll see you Monday.

SCorruptOTUS

That didn’t really work but we’re going with it anyway. After yesterday’s bombshell report about Clarence Thomas accepting illegal gifts for years, Democrats were up in arms. AOC called for impeachment. Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse called for John Roberts to investigate (sure he’d get to the bottom of it). Dick Durbin promised to do something, but we’re skeptical. It turns out the LATimes wrote a story about Clarence accepting gifts 20 years ago. So he just stopped reporting them. What a cool and totally legit court that’s taking away basic human rights from millions of people.

More: LA Times, Slate

We don’t mean to Bragg

Gym Jordan and Jamie Comer are just determined to obstruct justice for their orange daddy. Fortunately for America, Alvin Bragg doesn’t give a fuck. In a terse response to the House Republican jokes yesterday, Bragg slammed the sleazebags for “abuse of power.” We’re damn glad to see he’s fighting back. The response comes after Jordan subpoenaed a prosecutor who left Bragg’s office. He left because Bragg wouldn’t indict Trump. Seems like a really smart subpoena.

More: Yahoo

Joey Jobs strikes again

Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! Dark Brandon is a fucking jobs machine! The March numbers are out and once again the US job market is rolling. Last month the economy added 236,000 jobs, keeping the unemployment rate at a 50-year low of 3.5 percent. That means 27 straight months of job growth and more than 12 million jobs created. Thanks, Mr. President.

More: Yahoo

Today’s clips

President Joe Biden’s administration on Thursday laid the blame on his predecessor, President Donald Trump, for the deadly and chaotic 2021 withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan that brought about some of the darkest moments of Biden’s presidency. More: AP

The Supreme Court on Thursday rejected an attempt by West Virginia to prevent a transgender student from participating in girls’ sports. More: NBC

Support Today’s Big Stuff

If you have a friend, family member, or neighbor that would like to sign up for this free daily newsletter they can go to TodaysBigStuff.com.

Unlike a lot of soulless Washington newsletters, you won’t see us making out with defense contractors or oil companies for a little extra ad money. It’s gross as hell, and they won’t return our calls. Our goal is to keep Today’s Big Stuff free and available for anyone who needs a laugh during these trying times. But we need your help to do it.

Your donations help us cover the costs of distributing this newsletter and allow us to keep it pure, honest and foul-mouthed as a motherfucker.

So much of the media these days are pulling their punches and afraid to tell the truth because they don’t want to piss off their advertisers. Not us! Advertisers don’t want anything to do with us, and if they did, we would piss them off in like two seconds.

So please chip in what you can and let’s keep Today’s Big Stuff for the people! Make a contribution here.