4.6.23 Oh Clarence...

Be advised: This is a cussing newsletter. It was gonna be a dancing newsletter, but it just didn’t have the talent.

Note: Greetings, Sexy Patriots. We hope at this point, y’all know just how much we love you and how much we enjoy doing this newsletter and its opening note. But if you will excuse us today, we would like to take this opportunity to publish an open letter to the Republican Party. We’ll return to our regular opening note wackiness tomorrow…

Dear miserable scum,

Did you dumb motherfuckers really think the women of this country were going to just forget you stripped them of basic human rights? Did you think that’s the kind of shit people just move on from when Election Day is over? Did you think because the New York Times and CNN stopped caring that real people did?

We see this insane shit you passed in Idaho. We see you overruling the votes of the people of Kansas. We see you. We see all of you. And we’re as mad now as we were the day you fucking assholes overturned Roe.

The truth is we’re never going to stop caring. We’re never going to stop being fucking furious. And we’re never gonna stop rubbing your fucking faces in the pile of shit you assholes dropped on this country. This is what y’all wanted. And now you’re reaping what you’ve sewn.

Americans want their freedom. All Americans. Real freedom. We’re sick of the American Taliban pushing their bullshit on us, and we’re going to keep fighting back like angry cracked-out wolverines until every last right is restored.

Good luck in the swing states, dickheads. You shouldn’t have fucked with us.

Sincerely,

TBS

More: HuffPost

Note two: While we’re talking about messed up shit, Justin Kanew, who founded the progressive and crucial Tennessee Holler, posted this yesterday. We’re sending love to him and his family…

Note three: Thank you to New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy for making the Garden State a “trans haven.” It’s nice to be in a party that isn’t filled with inhuman monsters. More: NJ Monitor

Note four: Huge surprise but after Trump threatened the judge and his family in his Stormy case, the judge and his family have been receiving death threats. How much fucking longer is this asshole gonna be able to get away with this shit? More: NBC

Note five: LOLOLOL!!!! Ok this is the funniest fucking thing you’ll read today. Ron DeSantis, like so many failed candidates before him, is telling the press about their long term strategy to lose the early primary states and then win the big delegate states. Hey, it worked for Giuliani! Oh wait. No it didn’t. DeSantis hasn’t already announced and he’s already got a strategy of lying to himself. More: NBC

Note six: How are Tennessee Republicans responding to a school shooting? By calling for more guns. Take a look at this crowd and tell us if the GOP is fucking with the wrong people.

Note seven: That idiot Kennedy is gonna run for president because Steve Bannon wants him to be a chaos agent. It’s like that dude wakes up every day wondering how he can disgrace his family name. More: CNN

Note eight: Are y’all watching the new season of Ted Lasso? It’s soooooooo good! This week’s episode was dedicated to late reporter Grant Wahl, and it was wonderful.

Note nine: Marjorie Taylor Greene went on Tucker Carlson’s show last night to talk about how “disgusting” New York City is. She should go back there and tell them that. NO LINK

Note 10: It takes a lot to surprise us in the world of politics these days. Someone being this soulless and evil still managed to do it. Fuck you, Tricia.

Note 11: Republicans love gun violence and fentanyl so much they’re trying to abolish the ATF. Maybe they keep losing elections because they’re all David fucking Koresh. More: NBC

Note 12: This was a real headline in the New YorkTimes — “Republicans Face Setbacks in Push to Tighten Voting Laws on College Campuses.” Well we sure fucking hope so. NO LINK

Note 13: Hey you remember how earlier this week Donald Trump got arrested in New York? Well later this month he’s going on trial there for defaming E. Jean Carroll. We’re excited to hear the press call it an unorthodox way to start a presidential campaign. More: Yahoo

Note 14: Kansas voters went to the polls and said they wanted abortion to be legal. The shithead Republicans in that state said fuck you. More: PBS

Note 15: Been kind of a heavy TBS today, so thanks to Rep. Maxwell Frost for this…

Note 16: Melania Trump is said to have responded “Fuck off” when her husband asked her to show up and support him when he got arrested. Yeah, we don’t think she’s gonna wait for him if he goes to jail. More: Vanity Fair

Note 17: Gavin Newsom went to New College in Florida to blast DeSantis. We love this shit, but we just can’t stop thinking about Newsom being best buddies with Elon. That’s a real problem for us. More: Herald Tribune

Note 18: The Montana state Senate passed a bill to change the rules for US Senate races in the state but it only applies to Jon Tester’s race. We’re not making this up. More: NBC Montana

Note 19: Let’s end on a happy note today — Dominion can force the Murdochs to testify at their defamation trial. LOLOL. Have fun! More: CNBC

Note 20: Ok now let’s go do some news. Thank you for being such amazing Sexy Patriots. Thank you for being in this fight with us. There’s no one we’d rather mourn our losses and celebrate our victories with than you. Have a great Thursday!

What the fuck is the matter with Kansas?

Kansas has some fucked up people. Yesterday the state’s Republican legislature overrode a veto of Gov. Laura Kelly’s veto of their extreme and extremely messed up anti-trans law that calls for genital inspections of kids. The Republicans said don’t worry they’ll just make it part of regular physicals. It is not an exaggeration to say the creeps in the GOP want the government to force genital inspections of kids. It sure is weird how QAnon and all these idiots who want to save the children keep missing this stuff.

More: Buzzfeed

Tennesshithole

Today Tennessee Republicans are voting to expel three Democratic members from the statehouse for having the audacity to stand with kids who don’t want to get shot at anymore. In a truly appalling abuse of power that the mainstream media missed while they were watching Trump’s motorcade, the statehouse is voting to remove Reps. Gloria Johnson, Justin Jones and Justin Pearson. Their crime? They stood up for what’s right. The speaker of the House admitted in an interview yesterday he has no evidence the three were trying to incite violence, like they’ve been accused of. This is America now.

More: CNN

Oh Clarence

Y’all won’t believe this but the Supreme Court is corrupt as fuck and Clarence Thomas is not on the level. Yeah, the awful scumbag who overturned Roe and whose wife was part of a coup attempt against the United States of America has been accepting lavish gifts and trips from a GOP super donor for years. The weird piece of shit who claims to love Wal-mart parking lots actually really loves private jets, island hopping and mega yachts. Has anyone seen Dick Durbin? Is he hiding under a bed somewhere?

More: ProPublica

Today’s clips

A near-century old abortion ban that fueled one of the largest ballot drives in Michigan history was repealed Wednesday by Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, just months after voters enshrined abortion rights in the state’s constitution. More: HuffPost

Mike Pence will not appeal a federal court ruling ordering him to testify in a special counsel probe into efforts by Donald Trump and his allies to subvert the 2020 election, a spokesman for the former vice president said Wednesday, teeing up a historic moment in both the special counsel’s investigation and for the presidency. More: CNN

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