4.12.24 Trump loves the bad boys

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It comes in handy when a piece of shit double murderer dies.

Note: Sexy Patriots! We don’t know about y’all, but we are super damn glad the weekend is upon us. Mostly because we need a break from the endless dumpster fire that is the US media. Seriously, folks, what the fuck are we doing here?

Um wut. Don’t worry, everybody. Five hours later they added another post that said OJ was accused of murdering two people. But we still have to ask — when did our news media become so in love with murderous psycho scumfucks? Politico actually ran a headline yesterday that asked “Is Ted Cruz a changed man?” No! He’s not! And his dad killed JFK!

We’ve been complaining about the press for more than five years now. And they clearly haven’t heard us. So from now on we’re going to cuss at them more and more loudly. Lots of all caps craziness. Because it clearly worked for Trump, OJ and Ted Cruz. SO HEY MEDIA, STOP NORMALIZING HEARTLESS FUCKING MONSTERS! Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: If you want some super awesome and sexy media today, please check out Adam on our weekly podcast, This Week’s Big Stuff. It’s funny and informative and short and sweet and it helps keep this cussing newsletter cussing.

Note three: And while you’re at it, do yourself a favor and read Adam’s op-ed about the need to fund Ukraine before Putin does what Republicans want him to do and win. More: LA Mag

Note four: It’s been a few days since the Arizona Supreme Court fucked over women and we just can’t believe it still. We’ve been walking around muttering “18-fucking-64” nonstop. November can’t get here soon enough.

Note five: Instead of funding Ukraine and doing actual important shit, this is what MAGA Mike Johnson’s House will be focused on next week after yet another vacation.

Note six: House Republicans might actually pass FISA reauthorization today. If Trump lets them. Chickenshits. More: Politico

Note seven: We are not fans of the Republican director of the FBI. But when he says he’s worried about an attack, then so are we. More: ABC

Note eight: Trump is really upset that people are making fun of his pet judge. We’ll make him a deal — if Aileen Cannon stops kissing his orange ass and endangering national security, then we’ll stop making fun of her. More: MSNBC

Note nine: We’re about to find out just how much our broken and corrupt Supreme Court loves the Jan. 6 terrorists. And since Clarence Thomas is married to one of them, we’re guessing it’s a lot. More: HuffPost

Note 10: Here’s a reminder that Trump and his people are not moderates on abortion. They are the people who overturned Roe, and they won’t stop until we stop them.

Note 11: Joe Biden is heading home to Scranton next week. We love it when he reminds everyone he’s a pretty regular dude. More: Yahoo Finance

Note 12: And Donald Trump is going on trial next week. We love it when he reminds everyone he’s a criminal asshead. More: LA Mag

Note 13: Leonard Leo, the shithead who helped break SCOTUS, is refusing to comply with a Senate subpoena. So put his ass in jail. More: Guardian

Note 14: Rep. Jasmine Crockett is a star, and we’re damn glad she’s on our side. More: HuffPost

Note 15: We rarely say this to people, but Aaron Rogers should stop doing drugs and maybe put on a second helmet.

Note 16: It looks like abortion will be on the ballot in Colorado. But let’s be honest — abortion is on the ballot everywhere this November. More: CBS

Note 17: The UN climate chief says we have two years to save the planet. So we should probably get on that. More: Reuters

Note 18: Kari Lake is so worried about the Arizona abortion ruling that she’s started talking about choice. She should be worried. Because Arizona ain’t gonna choose her. More: Politico

Note 19: Our happy ending is simple today — it’s President Joe Biden making lives better for everyday Americans by canceling more student loans. It’s crazy how many people take good shit like this for granted. So thanks, Dark Brandon. More: Politico

Note 20: And on that productive note, let’s go do some news! We hope y’all have a lovely weekend. And if you see someone ignoring the shit OJ did, maybe you should get away from them. Love y’all!

Mar-a-losers

MAGA Mike Johnson could be funding Ukraine. Instead he’s off to Mar-a-Lago to kiss some orange ass and call for a new law to outlaw something that is already illegal. Yeah, the joke speaker of the House is in Florida with Trump today to call for making it illegal for non-citizens to vote. And of course that’s already illegal. But if they really care about election integrity, maybe they should drive up to the Villages and call out the fraud there. Of course those were all white Republicans.

More: NBC

We need this one

Last year in Wisconsin, we changed the game when we won a state Supreme Court seat and moved the court from right to left. We ended gerrymandering and protected abortion rights. So it’s big news that one of the liberal judges on the court is retiring. This is gonna be a big one, y’all. So let’s go ahead and put it on our radar screen now.

More: Politico

Trump loves the bad boys

Whether it’s Putin or Kim Jong Un, Trump sure does love scumbags. And now we can add RFK Jr. to the list. Trump put out a video yesterday praising the anti-vaxx lunatic and predicting that RFK will take votes from Biden. We’re of course worried that this might be the one time Trump is right about something, but our hope is everyone will wake up and see that they’re basically the same person except RFK isn’t orange. Yet.

More: The Hill

Today’s clips

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s campaign manager said on Wednesday that New York campaign staff member Rita Palma was fired after she told GOP voters in a meeting last week that preventing President Joe Biden’s victory was her “number one priority” and encouraged them to volunteer for former President Donald Trump in Pennsylvania. More: CNN

Anti-abortion groups in Florida will try to block implementation of a ballot measure protecting the procedure if voters approve the initiative in November, signaling that the fight over abortion rights in the state will likely continue far past this year’s elections. More: Politico