3.6.23 Selma vs CPAC

It’s Monday. There are 610 days until the presidential election. Facebook and Google sell out women, Biden heads to Philly this week and a word about Democrats and Fox News.

Be advised: This newsletter cusses like Fox lies — non-fucking-stop.

Note: Sexy Patriots! How was your weekend? Did you get into any good trouble? Oh we see. Just the regular wild kind of trouble with lampshades on the head and a lifetime ban from the neighborhood key party. Well we still approve. How was our weekend? Let’s call it clarifying.

This was the weekend when the two parties were more clearly defined than maybe they’ve ever been. Let’s call it the weekend of CPAC vs. Selma.

On the one hand, you had a bunch of fart-sniffing would-be klansman gather in a hotel ballroom and listen to Republicans trash brave Ukrainians, lots of warnings about the dangers of caring about your fellow American and someone named Nikki Haley doing something or another. There was even a genocidal call to eradicate “transgenderism,” which obviously means eradicating trans people. Trump showed up and whined like a really racist baby and reminded everyone that he’s actually really cool with the Jan. 6 terrorists. It was a truly fucked up and disgusting weekend of hate from some truly fucked up and disgusting people.

So what was POTUS doing while this shitshow was popping off? He was in Selma, Alabama. Commemorating the 58th anniversary of Bloody Sunday, Biden flew down to champion voting rights and learning the country’s WHOLE history instead of some North Korean version that pretends Superman and White Jesus ended Slavery with a crime-fighting dog. Dark Brandon spent the weekend with real history. He reminded us of the fights we’ve won before, while Republicans spent the weekend reminding us of the fights we have ahead.

So which America do you want to be, Sexy Patriots? That’s what we thought. Y’all ready to kick some ass this week? More: AP

Note two: Let’s start in Wisconsin. We’ve got less than a month to help Janet Protasiewics get elected to the state Supreme Court. Republicans are already coming with super gross anti-semitic ads. Y’all ready to fight back? More: DailyKos

Note three: Why is this important? Abortion, elections, you name it. But also because the current state Supreme Court just put one of Trump’s anti-election assholes on the judicial conduct advisory committee. Seems totally legit, right? More: MSNBC

Note four: Are y’all getting into the Oscars this year? We’re just not really feeling it. We really loved Everything Everywhere All at Once but we kinda dropped the ball on most of the rest. Send us your recommendations.

Note five: We were gonna post one of Trump’s lunatic shithead remarks from CPAC. But we liked this context better…

Note six: Over the weekend Larry Hogan announced that he will not run for president. Thanks to Larry Hogan for saving us the trouble of googling “who the fuck is larry hogan?” More: CNN

Note seven: So the Never Trumpers are getting on board and the people running are afraid to criticize Trump. Sure sounds like the next Republican nominee will be orange.

Note eight: Those motherfuckers at CPAC really did get genocidal. Try to imagine how utterly fucking terrifying it must be to be trans in America right now and hearing this at a conference where the last president of the United States spoke. More: Rolling Stone

Note nine: How do you think Black voters feel about Ron DeSantis trying to erase Black history? Well here’s some polling to tell you. This isn’t in the poll but we felt like we should include it — fuck Ron DeSantis. More: USA Today

Note 10: Paul Manafort has agreed to pay DOJ $3.15 million. Doesn’t seem like much for wrecking our country. But it also seems like a lot for a hoax. More: CNN

Note 11: Wanna watch a grown man piss himself?

Note 12: According to the NYT, Trump asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to endorse him and she told him to be patient and holy shit that must’ve set him off lol. More: ArkTimes

Note 13: The flip-side of that trashy coin is our very own Joe Machin, who is refusing to endorse Joe Biden and even refusing to rule out a run of his own. Hey, Manchin, you fucking suck, everyone hates you and you’re never going to be president. What an asshole. More: The Hill

Note 14: RIP to Judith Heumann, a legendary disability rights activist who left this world better than she found it. More: AP 

Note 15: Which will come first — Trump’s healthcare plan or his presidential library?

Note 16: Any basketball fans here? March Madness is right around the corner, and the NBA is a damn blast right now. And here’s a bullshit story to really piss you off… More: Deadspin

Note 17: In Texas, three major universities have banned diversity statements from job applications to be in compliance with an order from the governor. Imagine if the NCAA was a real organization with some teeth that could stare down this bullshit. Alas… More: Texas Tribune

Note 18: Students are looking for other schools where they won’t be treated like second-class citizens by a government that hates them. Makes a shitload of sense to us. More: NBC

Note 19: The mainstream media is really trying to make Marianne Williamson’s campaign a thing. Good luck with that shit. NO FUCKING LINK

Note 20: Before we end today, we’d like to congratulate Mike Pence on his 0.4 percent finish in the CPAC straw poll. Hey at least they didn’t try to kill him. LOL!

Note 21: And on that cruel note, let’s go do some news. We hope y’all had a good weekend, SPs. Let’s make this a great week!

Scary fucking world

So Google and Facebook are helping law enforcement go after women who are looking for abortions. Yes, that is as fucking terrifying as it sounds. In backwards ass states where police are actually going after women for this shit, the tech giants are actually fucking helping the cops. The media might think we’re done caring about this. We’re gonna show them how wrong they are. Protect yourselves, SPs.

Back to Philly

Dark Brandon is going back to Philadelphia this week to unveil his budget and draw more contrast between him — the guy actually trying to fix America — and the other jackasses who are trying to break it even more. He’s going to call for cutting the deficit by $2 trillion and extending the life of medicare. Basically he’s going to look like a real president who gives a damn, and he’s going to do it in a crucial state.

More: 6ABC

Some thoughts on Fox and Democrats

Over the weekend, we read a stunning story in the NYT about how Fox News’ straight news anchors Bret Baier and Martha McCallum didn’t want Fox to make election calls based on data and actual election results. They wanted them called or not called based on the feelings of their viewers. Add this to the recent revelations in the Dominion lawsuit about how Rupert was giving inside info about the Biden campaign to Trump’s camp and you’ve got a pretty damning case against Fox as a news outlet. And then we woke up yesterday and saw Democratic Senate Intel Chair Mark Warner on that very channel. Now we’ve heard over and over again how important it is for Democrats to go in shark-infested waters to reach voters, and we don’t disagree. But this is something different. This is a propaganda outlet hellbent on destroying democracy and the goddamn Senate Intel chairman shouldn’t fucking be legitimizing them. We’ve seen a lot of evidence these last couple years that Democrats have woken up to the very real threats we are facing. Continuing to coddle Fox is not that. They have declared war on truth. Let’s be the party that defends it. And let’s seize this moment to call these fuckers what they are.

NO LINK

Today’s clips

Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-Texas) couldn’t spare a kind word for President Joe Biden even when talking about his recent cancer diagnosis.

Instead, Jackson lamented that a cancerous lesion had been removed from the president’s chest. More: HuffPost

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg called out former President Donald Trump and his supporters for a “bullshit” suggestion that they influenced his own visit to the site of last month’s toxic train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio. More: HuffPost

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