3.5.24 Rubbing it in

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity because the goddamn Supreme Court keeps pissing us off.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! It’s Super Tuesday and we are super pissed off! Why? Well because yesterday a broken and corrupt Supreme Court reminded us what we’ve known for a while — we are on our own. Yeah, it’s a message this newsletter has pushed for years now — if we want to save America, then we’re gonna have to fucking do it ourselves. And we’re not just running against Trump. Because that would be too fucking easy. We’re also up against…

• The US Supreme Court

• The US House of Representatives

• Fox News

• NBC News (and apparently MSNBC what the fuck?!)

• CBS News

• The New York Times

• Saudi Arabia/Russia/North Korea

• Elon Musk and every other spoiled rotten asshead tech bro

• Far-left dumbfucks who need attention

• Far-right dumbfucks who want us dead

• QAnon idiots

• No Labels idiots

• Moms for Liberty and Wild Orgies

• RFK Jr./Cornel West/Jill Stein/Probably fucking Kanye again

GODDAMNIT THAT’S A LOT! Who did we forget? The point is shit is totally fucked up and we get it if you’re totally freaked out and discouraged right now. But remember this — from Mueller on, we have been failed by the people we pay to protect our democracy and we’ve still won. So fuck them and fuck all these unofficial members of Team Trump. Guess we’ll just have to save America ourselves and make all those sick sonsofbitches weep. Sound good? Ok cool. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Hey btw it’s Super Tuesday! And Taylor Swift says to go vote. We agree! Voting kicks ass!

Note three: Remember yesterday when we told y’all about that bullshit Axios story about how Trump has stopped calling the 2020 election rigged? Well it’s been called out by everyone from twitter’s community notes to Media Matters. Why is the press rooting for fascism? More: Media Matters

Note four: Even CNN has a piece about how much the New York Times is sucking these days. More: CNN

Note five: HuffPo has a nice breakdown of races to watch tonight. That bigoted piece of shit in North Carolina is a real piece of work. More: HuffPost

Note six: Gosh. We sure hope he’s ok. Or something like that.

Note seven: Oh look. This White House is making people’s lives better again. Will the people give a damn? More: CNN

Note eight: We like Mark Cuban’s Biden endorsement. Mostly because we feel the same way. More: HuffPost

Note nine: Just a reminder that TBS is celebrating five years this month. Help us keep growing and going by spreading the word. Everyone could use some more f-bombs in their lives. Right?

Note 10: Congratulations to Jessica Mackler, the new president of EMILY’s List. They’re an important organization, and we’re grateful for what they do. More: EMILY’s List

Note 11: Why can’t we just be cool like France?

Note 12: The CFO of the Trump Organization pleaded guilty to more crimes. His name isn’t Hunter Biden though so the press didn’t give a shit. More: CNN

Note 13: When Mitch McConnell endorses Trump, it will be the most pathetic thing we’ve seen yet. He will instantly enter Ted Cruz Lindsey Graham territory. More: HuffPost

Note 14: Seriously how is this not a bigger story?

Note 15: Elections matter! In Arizona, Katie Hobbs is buying up $2 billion worth of medical debt while Kari Lake sniffs glue. More: Fox 10 Phoenix 

Note 16: If you want to have your mind blown (and just be super pissed off), read this story about Trump’s fake electors in Wisconsin. They literally attempted a fucking coup and way too many egghead types are acting like it’s no big deal. More: AP

Note 17: Trump supporters used AI to create Black Trump voters. Even for Trump supporters, this is pretty fucked up. More: BBC

Note 18: Are we alone in becoming huge fans of the Kelce family? We didn’t think so. More: ESPN

Note 19: For today’s happy note, we go to the legendary RuPaul…

Note 20: And on that delightful note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have a super Super Tuesday. Yeah it sucks that it seems like the whole damn world is aligned against us and democracy but fuck them. We got this. Love y’all!

Rubbing it in

So yesterday the Supreme Court voted 9-0 to reverse Colorado’s decision to kick an insurrectionist asshole off the ballot. Yes, even the liberal justices went along with this shit. There was some fight over whether the right-wing extremists on the bench went too far (they did), but Trump got the decision he wanted. And then he went on camera to brag about it and tell us that this will unite America and oh also he needs total immunity from his crimes. If you find this fucking nightmare insulting as hell, we promise you are not alone.

More: NBC

LOL Joe

One of our favorite things Joe Biden does these days is call Donald Trump “a loser.” We know how much orangey hates that and Biden does too. Anyway, he does it again in this interview with the New Yorker when he says that the loser won’t concede the election if he loses. Again. We recommend the whole thing.

More: New Yorker

Hitler talk

You won’t believe us but there was a time in this country when talking like Hitler was disqualifying for politicians. But when Trump does it, the press just doesn’t seem to give a shit. In the last week, we’ve read two stories by two major publications that tell us Trump is becoming more disciplined. Except he keeps talking like fucking Hitler. Yeah, immigrants are not poisoning the blood of our country, Donnie. You are.

NO LINK BECAUSE THE PRESS STOPPED COVERING THIS EVEN THOUGH HE KEEPS SAYING IT

Today’s clips

Texas’ plan to arrest migrants who enter the U.S. illegally is headed to the Supreme Court in a legal showdown over the federal government’s authority over immigration. More: HuffPost

A United Nations team has found “clear and convincing” information that hostages in Gaza were sexually abused and there are “reasonable grounds” to believe the sexual violence is ongoing. More: CNN

Vice President Kamala Harris met on Monday with a member of Israel’s wartime Cabinet who came to Washington in defiance of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as the Biden administration intensifies its efforts to push more humanitarian aid into war-battered Gaza. More: HuffPost